Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never expect my brother to go to my wedding 6 hours away when it's literally within a couple days of his child's birth. You're not being hormonal. This is whack, Covid or not.

Op here. If this was just a coincidence and the date happened to be right near my due date, I really don’t have a problem with him going. It’s important to her that he’s there and she needs him there for family support. And I can manage for 24hrs on my own. My husband was there for the birth but did not stay with me at the hospital anyway for our first, he just visited. He was tired and couldn’t sleep comfortably at the hospital. He tried to duck out during my labor at the hospital too but I made him stay. And really after that first childbirth experience,

I can’t help but wonder just a little bit though about the wedding date. Especially since she has a history of these unfortunately timed events or big announcements with her parents. I know it sounds crazy, but there’s been a lot of crazy things over the years that I won’t go into. It’s these little secret war games between her and her mom mostly, where they seem to want to sabotage each other— and I’m not even sure if they do it consciously. That said, she’s never done that with me that I know of.

[Anonymous]

Grow up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never expect my brother to go to my wedding 6 hours away when it's literally within a couple days of his child's birth. You're not being hormonal. This is whack, Covid or not.

Op here. If this was just a coincidence and the date happened to be right near my due date, I really don’t have a problem with him going. It’s important to her that he’s there and she needs him there for family support. And I can manage for 24hrs on my own. My husband was there for the birth but did not stay with me at the hospital anyway for our first, he just visited. He was tired and couldn’t sleep comfortably at the hospital. He tried to duck out during my labor at the hospital too but I made him stay. And really after that first childbirth experience,

I can’t help but wonder just a little bit though about the wedding date. Especially since she has a history of these unfortunately timed events or big announcements with her parents. I know it sounds crazy, but there’s been a lot of crazy things over the years that I won’t go into. It’s these little secret war games between her and her mom mostly, where they seem to want to sabotage each other— and I’m not even sure if they do it consciously. That said, she’s never done that with me that I know of.

I’m pretty relaxed about covid, but with the case of a newborn, I would ask him to exercise precautions coming home from a large gathering like this. Personally I would act almost as if he was exposed, masking if possible, monitoring for any symptoms and getting tested about five days after he returns. For what it’s worth, we were cautious like this when we had a baby in the height of flu season too. Any fever in a newborn can send your baby to the hospital for a spinal tap - unfortunately this happened to us for a respiratory virus and it was quite stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never expect my brother to go to my wedding 6 hours away when it's literally within a couple days of his child's birth. You're not being hormonal. This is whack, Covid or not.

Op here. If this was just a coincidence and the date happened to be right near my due date, I really don’t have a problem with him going. It’s important to her that he’s there and she needs him there for family support. And I can manage for 24hrs on my own. My husband was there for the birth but did not stay with me at the hospital anyway for our first, he just visited. He was tired and couldn’t sleep comfortably at the hospital. He tried to duck out during my labor at the hospital too but I made him stay. And really after that first childbirth experience,

I can’t help but wonder just a little bit though about the wedding date. Especially since she has a history of these unfortunately timed events or big announcements with her parents. I know it sounds crazy, but there’s been a lot of crazy things over the years that I won’t go into. It’s these little secret war games between her and her mom mostly, where they seem to want to sabotage each other— and I’m not even sure if they do it consciously. That said, she’s never done that with me that I know of.

Honey, don't you have enough to do without stirring the pot and needlessly arm-chairing and speculating about her relationship with her mom? MYOB. Be a better person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be an intentional slight, could be cluelessness. Either way, I’d be psyched I didn’t have to go.

This made me laugh. You have a great attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be an intentional slight, could be cluelessness. Either way, I’d be psyched I didn’t have to go.

This made me laugh. You have a great attitude.

I agree about being off the hook! Most weddings are a snooze...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never expect my brother to go to my wedding 6 hours away when it's literally within a couple days of his child's birth. You're not being hormonal. This is whack, Covid or not.

Op here. If this was just a coincidence and the date happened to be right near my due date, I really don’t have a problem with him going. It’s important to her that he’s there and she needs him there for family support. And I can manage for 24hrs on my own. My husband was there for the birth but did not stay with me at the hospital anyway for our first, he just visited. He was tired and couldn’t sleep comfortably at the hospital. He tried to duck out during my labor at the hospital too but I made him stay. And really after that first childbirth experience,

I can’t help but wonder just a little bit though about the wedding date. Especially since she has a history of these unfortunately timed events or big announcements with her parents. I know it sounds crazy, but there’s been a lot of crazy things over the years that I won’t go into. It’s these little secret war games between her and her mom mostly, where they seem to want to sabotage each other— and I’m not even sure if they do it consciously. That said, she’s never done that with me that I know of.

I’m pretty relaxed about covid, but with the case of a newborn, I would ask him to exercise precautions coming home from a large gathering like this. Personally I would act almost as if he was exposed, masking if possible, monitoring for any symptoms and getting tested about five days after he returns. For what it’s worth, we were cautious like this when we had a baby in the height of flu season too. Any fever in a newborn can send your baby to the hospital for a spinal tap - unfortunately this happened to us for a respiratory virus and it was quite stressful.

NP and +1,000 to the bold. OP, you're all wound up about your DH going to support SIL and equally worked up about whether or not this was an intentional slight etc. etc. You're deep in the weeds knowing way too much about the dynamics between SIL and your MIL. Yet...why are you not considering covid here? It really doesn't matter in the larger scheme of things if she meant to exclude you or needs a buffer between her (an adult) and her parents (adults!). What matters is ensuring that if your DH goes, he stay uninfected and not bring anything home to you and the kids. Every person I know who has had covid in the past year got it after attending a wedding, funeral, birthday party or similar gathering. Quite a few, and every one attributable to a gathering, not to work or going the grocery store or anything else. and it is not always the "feels like a cold, no big deal" that people want to think. It would be potentially dangerous to a newborn. Yes, the wedding is in August but when DH comes home he needs to act as if he's been exposed and isolate, like this PP rightly recommends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her specifically what your due date was? Do you have conversations with her?

Not very often, but yes, we told her the due date. It's possible she just forgot?

Could it be.....hear me out....that her life doesn't revolve around your pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never expect my brother to go to my wedding 6 hours away when it's literally within a couple days of his child's birth. You're not being hormonal. This is whack, Covid or not.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never expect my brother to go to my wedding 6 hours away when it's literally within a couple days of his child's birth. You're not being hormonal. This is whack, Covid or not.

Op here. If this was just a coincidence and the date happened to be right near my due date, I really don’t have a problem with him going. It’s important to her that he’s there and she needs him there for family support. And I can manage for 24hrs on my own. My husband was there for the birth but did not stay with me at the hospital anyway for our first, he just visited. He was tired and couldn’t sleep comfortably at the hospital. He tried to duck out during my labor at the hospital too but I made him stay. And really after that first childbirth experience,

I can’t help but wonder just a little bit though about the wedding date. Especially since she has a history of these unfortunately timed events or big announcements with her parents. I know it sounds crazy, but there’s been a lot of crazy things over the years that I won’t go into. It’s these little secret war games between her and her mom mostly, where they seem to want to sabotage each other— and I’m not even sure if they do it consciously. That said, she’s never done that with me that I know of.

Is this for real OP? If so, you have bigger problems than your SIL. Or maybe you are a troll. Who will watch your older child while you are in the hospital and your DH is at a wedding 6 hours away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she didn't think that much about it other than you would have baby by the wedding. Why go look for a problem where there isn't one?

This.