Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date

[Anonymous]

DH and I just got a wedding invitation to my SIL's wedding. It will be a church ceremony and reception in August a 6 hour drive from where we live - but the date is literally a few days after my due date. DH and I and our family, as well as her parents are the only ones invited from her side of the family.

I can't help feeling like this was not just a coincidence. She knew I was expecting in August, and of all the weeks to pick..... Do you think she does not actually want me to attend?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am an internet stranger to you but looking at the facts of the case, I do believe your SIL is trying to not invite you to her wedding but still get credit for inviting you. It's not that she may be wrapped up in her own wedding planning, balancing budgets, figuring out what colors her flowers should be, etc. She most definitely put your due date in her google calendar and has been conspiring to not get you to attend. Don't even get me started on the fact that she called everyone on her side of the family to make sure they could attend her wedding and not be there to celebrate the birth of your baby.

Congrats by the way on your new child!

[Anonymous]

Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am an internet stranger to you but looking at the facts of the case, I do believe your SIL is trying to not invite you to her wedding but still get credit for inviting you. It's not that she may be wrapped up in her own wedding planning, balancing budgets, figuring out what colors her flowers should be, etc. She most definitely put your due date in her google calendar and has been conspiring to not get you to attend. Don't even get me started on the fact that she called everyone on her side of the family to make sure they could attend her wedding and not be there to celebrate the birth of your baby.

Congrats by the way on your new child!

I detect a tinge of sarcasm....

[Anonymous]

Did you tell her specifically what your due date was? Do you have conversations with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?

She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?

She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?

So maybe she's just clueless? Kind of sounds like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her specifically what your due date was? Do you have conversations with her?

Not very often, but yes, we told her the due date. It's possible she just forgot?

[Anonymous]

I'd bet there are a lot of postponed weddings happening this summer so dates are packed. it was probably "oh my mom has a vacation already planned this one available date in july and aug is the other option unless we wait until oct but who knows if there will be some new crazy covid wave. So lets go with aug even though that unfortuantely means brother and his fam cant attend"

so more not caring greatly that you can be there as opposed to actively wanting you to not be there

[Anonymous]

Maybe she didn't think that much about it other than you would have baby by the wedding. Why go look for a problem where there isn't one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?

She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?

So maybe she's just clueless? Kind of sounds like it.

She's not clueless, on the contrary, she is a METICULOUS and savvy planner - much better planner than DH or I.

[Anonymous]

How close to your due date are we talking? I can't imagine that she'd expect her brother to still come if its too risky for you to / you have a brand new baby

[Anonymous]

No, she didn’t do it on purpose. Why are you looking for problems when there are none?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her specifically what your due date was? Do you have conversations with her?

Not very often, but yes, we told her the due date. It's possible she just forgot?

Yes, it's very possible!! Did your DH even talk to her since hearing about the date?! If this happened with either of my siblings, I'd call as soon as they communicated the date.

[Anonymous]

Could be an intentional slight, could be cluelessness. Either way, I’d be psyched I didn’t have to go.