Inheritance Q

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there context missing on why they would gift their house to this sibling specifically? If, as you say, all of you have houses and mortgages of your own right now?

Because this is odd, and I'm trying to understand.

There's got to be more to this.

I am also trying to understand. I think the sibling suggested it and my parents went for it. They also didn't tell us all together. I called one sibling a week after I found out (because my parents asked me not to saying anything to my other siblings when they told me, since they wanted to tell my other siblings) and he still had no idea. I don't think it's intentional, but I think that my parents haven't thought this through and that they're doing this in a way that is really destructive for our relationships.

Any insights into your sibling's motivations? Is she financially literate enough to know the implications for other siblings as well as the tax and estate implications? Does she care if she has good relations with the rest of you?

Sibling is jealous and insecure and likes having nice things. Sibling would not be able to afford a very nice house in a very nice area (mkt value is close to $3M), so this is the best way to do it. Sibling definitely does not understand tax implications, but parents will probably take care of that for sibling...and not a concern. Sibling understands that getting house now is better for them than getting house in 30 years from an estate standpoint, since it's worth so much less now than it will be in 30 years and thus, represents a smaller part of the estate. Sibling also understands no mortgage and implications of being able to sell current home and keep equity to invest in market, buy nice things, go on expensive vacations, etc.

Why are you going to such lengths to avoid pronouns? We all you are a woman and the sibling in question is your sister. Whatever your sister's flaws, you have always been competitive with her and don't want good things to happen to her.

Wow. You are misogynistic and epitomize unconscious bias.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there context missing on why they would gift their house to this sibling specifically? If, as you say, all of you have houses and mortgages of your own right now?

Because this is odd, and I'm trying to understand.

There's got to be more to this.

I am also trying to understand. I think the sibling suggested it and my parents went for it. They also didn't tell us all together. I called one sibling a week after I found out (because my parents asked me not to saying anything to my other siblings when they told me, since they wanted to tell my other siblings) and he still had no idea. I don't think it's intentional, but I think that my parents haven't thought this through and that they're doing this in a way that is really destructive for our relationships.

Any insights into your sibling's motivations? Is she financially literate enough to know the implications for other siblings as well as the tax and estate implications? Does she care if she has good relations with the rest of you?

Sibling is jealous and insecure and likes having nice things. Sibling would not be able to afford a very nice house in a very nice area (mkt value is close to $3M), so this is the best way to do it. Sibling definitely does not understand tax implications, but parents will probably take care of that for sibling...and not a concern. Sibling understands that getting house now is better for them than getting house in 30 years from an estate standpoint, since it's worth so much less now than it will be in 30 years and thus, represents a smaller part of the estate. Sibling also understands no mortgage and implications of being able to sell current home and keep equity to invest in market, buy nice things, go on expensive vacations, etc.

Why are you going to such lengths to avoid pronouns? We all you are a woman and the sibling in question is your sister. Whatever your sister's flaws, you have always been competitive with her and don't want good things to happen to her.

+1

I don't see brothers getting into this level of pettiness.

Well this is a breathtakingly ignorant comment. If you are not familiar with men with large egos and petty, acquisitive natures, you are very lucky as they occur in American society in percentages at least equal to women with the same qualities.

When a man does something like this he's just "standing up for himself." When a woman does it, it's being "petty."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s their money and their assets. Your parents are entitled to give them to whomever they want regardless if you think it’s “fair”

That's true of course. But parents should not make lopsided decisions and expect peace in the family. I have no idea about the broader financial picture of the OP's family, but they have every right to have a family discussion about such a major transfer of wealth. The bigger mistake would be to not talk about it. Families that share assets through inheritance need to talk through it or they could face decades or resentment. Just because parents have the legal right to do something, it doesn't mean it is the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are ridiculous and greedy.

The sibling has found the thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this being done to avoid a property tax reassessment in a part of the country where that is an issue? that is the only reason it makes sense to me. Essentially the OP's sibling is being given an interest free loan on the future inheritance. That said, if I were OP I would probably just let it go since it would not be worth upsetting family dynamics.

CA it is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are ridiculous and greedy.

No, the sibling is being ridiculous and greedy.

[Anonymous]

I think it's poor judgment on the part of OP's parents and it's clearly causing some disruption, but OP isn't entitled to anything form them, so I think speaking up is inappropriate. My parents do the same thing for my sister, but on a smaller scale, and my brother and I are both a bit annoyed but have never said anything. We both continue to enjoy a pretty good relationship with our parents with no expectations of help from them.

[Anonymous]

Who will be taking care of the parents as they age? Do they have a plan for financing their care?

Skilled care facilities can easily cost $10,000 or more per month per person.

Often, one sibling bears the brunt of care for parents while other siblings go on their merry way with no disruption to their lives.

Maybe your parents know that your sister will be the one to take care of them and want to reward her for the work she is likely to face.

[Anonymous]

Dogs going after the bloody carcass. IF DW and I have anything left (goal is to retire early and enjoy retirement more than leave money to entitled brats), children will not know about it until the latest possible minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dogs going after the bloody carcass. IF DW and I have anything left (goal is to retire early and enjoy retirement more than leave money to entitled brats), children will not know about it until the latest possible minute.

Why do you hate your children ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dogs going after the bloody carcass. IF DW and I have anything left (goal is to retire early and enjoy retirement more than leave money to entitled brats), children will not know about it until the latest possible minute.

Why do you hate your children ?

I'm sorry you need an inheritance to be fulfilled in life. I was raised by blue collar parents who did not go to college. My kids have had many advantages in life including education. I want them to focus on their own careers and lives and not expect an inheritance or fighting with each other like the gross and entitled posters here. Raising successful and self-sufficient children is the best thing I can do for them. My spouse and I also work long hours in stressful jobs while raising aforementioned children and hope to enjoy some of the money we have saved before we die or get too old. If there is money left, they can have it. But raising entitled brats that go through young adulthood expecting an inheritance is not doing my kids a favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this being done to avoid a property tax reassessment in a part of the country where that is an issue? that is the only reason it makes sense to me. Essentially the OP's sibling is being given an interest free loan on the future inheritance. That said, if I were OP I would probably just let it go since it would not be worth upsetting family dynamics.

CA it is

California doesn’t reassess for property tax if the heir of the property is the child of the deceased. I know because I inherited a house in CA and I’m not the child of the deceased, and people kept asking me if the deceased had adopted me. Apparently that’s a thing people do to avoid the tax reassessment, believe it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who will be taking care of the parents as they age? Do they have a plan for financing their care?

Skilled care facilities can easily cost $10,000 or more per month per person.

Often, one sibling bears the brunt of care for parents while other siblings go on their merry way with no disruption to their lives.

Maybe your parents know that your sister will be the one to take care of them and want to reward her for the work she is likely to face.

Possibly, but in my experience, the kid that is selfish enough to ask for the property while the parent is still living is also too selfish to actually do any caretaking. They get the house, with the promise that they’ll take care of the parent and then dump them in a Medicaid nursing home the minute the Medicaid look back period is over.

My family was in a similar situation, and the other siblings knew the sibling in question wasn’t reliable. The parent wanted to do it, so they got a commitment to care for the parent in writing, and it didn’t matter. The other siblings (who didn’t get a house) ended up caring for the parent because they were dumped into a terrible nursing home. And, no, they weren’t “jealous,” they just would have preferred that the $$ from the home be used for their parent’s care.

[Anonymous]

This very scenario has caused siblings in my BIL's family to not speak to one another. OP, I'd tell your parents that you are feeling uncomfortable with the idea. Tell them you think they need to talk to an estate lawyer. There is also a very good book that discusses (and discourages) scenarios like this. It is called Beyond the Grave. It is about how to leave your $ to people.

[Anonymous]

My mother used to keep a Google spreadsheet to itemize every single gift/expenditure she made to each of my siblings and our kids and gave us the password so we could check it whenever we wanted. If she went to our beach house, she'd list the ice cream cones she bought my children on the boardwalk. And at the end of the year, she'd base her Christmas presents on her spreadsheet to even things out. It broke my heart the year she gave my sister's children mittens while my children got new MacBooks and Iphones because she chipped in when my brother-in-law's firm tanked. After that, I asked her to take me off her spreadsheet and not to worry about giving me a "fair" share. It's her money and she can divide it however she wants without worry about any feelings of entitlement from me.