BIL 30 min late to pick up our kid from school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- You cannot imagine being late, as in no circumstance in which you were late , really???
- Did you remind him ahead of time , like 30-60 min ahead of time?
- Is he usually late for stuff?
- So don’t ask him to do this again, that is your solution, why is it necessary to post about it?
- Are you looking for suggestions on appropriate punishment for BIL?

Op here. Dh does a million favors for BIL. He helped him in college, grad school, financially, getting his first job, etc. BIL never does anything for Dh in return and the one time DH asks BIL, he let us down.

Dh won’t hold a grudge and will continue to help his brother out all the time.

BIL is a chronically late person. He is the type of person to pick him mom up from the airport an hour late because of traffic. He misses dinner with our family and shows up after dinner.

If you know this then why did you expect him to pick up your child on time? Bad judgement on your part.

I didn’t ask him. Dh asked him. Dh should have left work to pick up our kid but he asked his brother since he had a half day of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- You cannot imagine being late, as in no circumstance in which you were late , really???
- Did you remind him ahead of time , like 30-60 min ahead of time?
- Is he usually late for stuff?
- So don’t ask him to do this again, that is your solution, why is it necessary to post about it?
- Are you looking for suggestions on appropriate punishment for BIL?

Op here. Dh does a million favors for BIL. He helped him in college, grad school, financially, getting his first job, etc. BIL never does anything for Dh in return and the one time DH asks BIL, he let us down.

Dh won’t hold a grudge and will continue to help his brother out all the time.

BIL is a chronically late person. He is the type of person to pick him mom up from the airport an hour late because of traffic. He misses dinner with our family and shows up after dinner.

If you know this then why did you expect him to pick up your child on time? Bad judgement on your part.

I didn’t ask him. Dh asked him. Dh should have left work to pick up our kid but he asked his brother since he had a half day of work.

DP. And you agreed to it when your husband told you. I think both of you are dumb for even thinking this would work. You got what you deserved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

BIL is a chronically late person. He is the type of person to pick him mom up from the airport an hour late because of traffic. He misses dinner with our family and shows up after dinner.

So, of the millions of ways that maybe he would be useful in helping in your life, you picked something that basically set him (and your child) up for failure.

Knowing this about him, why would you think it would be different? Was it supposed some kind of test? I mean, it had exactly the result I would expect it to have, and I don’t even know him or you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- You cannot imagine being late, as in no circumstance in which you were late , really???
- Did you remind him ahead of time , like 30-60 min ahead of time?
- Is he usually late for stuff?
- So don’t ask him to do this again, that is your solution, why is it necessary to post about it?
- Are you looking for suggestions on appropriate punishment for BIL?

Op here. Dh does a million favors for BIL. He helped him in college, grad school, financially, getting his first job, etc. BIL never does anything for Dh in return and the one time DH asks BIL, he let us down.

Dh won’t hold a grudge and will continue to help his brother out all the time.

BIL is a chronically late person. He is the type of person to pick him mom up from the airport an hour late because of traffic. He misses dinner with our family and shows up after dinner.

If you know this then why did you expect him to pick up your child on time? Bad judgement on your part.

I didn’t ask him. Dh asked him. Dh should have left work to pick up our kid but he asked his brother since he had a half day of work.

I’d have been mad too. I am late for stuff a lot but never have I ever been late for school pick up. If he had an emergency and then was apologetic that would be one thing but acting lit was no big deal would make me nuts. I hope your DH agrees never again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 pages of people overreacting. How did the BIL respond afterwards? He’s a single guy, he probably didn’t get the urgency. My husband is a good dad and responsible at work but terrible with time. When he absolutely had to be there for the kids, I tell him 15-30 min earlier than needed.

The BIL may not have realized the issue with being a little late. I’m a teacher and a parent and I don’t think this is something to be outraged over. He did you a favor. Now he knows and if he doesn’t get it, don’t ask him again.

As a teacher do you enjoy standing outside for 25 minutes waiting for a child's late ride? Don't you have anything else to do?

Of course not but it’s part of the job to not leave kids stranded and alone and these types of things happen. I don’t run out and leave the second the bell rings so I’m under contract anyway. There are always other things I could be doing. This is OP’s fault. She updated that BIL is a chronically late person who doesn’t respect times when others are waiting. You don’t ask that person to pick up your kid from school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people SUCK. They asked BIL if he could pick up child from school and BIL agreed. If a grown adult has agreed to do something, then they should do it otherwise decline. You don't have to have children, much less be just a person that has attended any school in their lifetime to know school ends at a specific time. I can assume none of you on here has asked anyone for any help ever in your lifetime and never plan to, correct?

Yes I would imagine that most of us have asked people to help in some capacity and there were times when that person messed up and 0o my gosh sometimes we were the person who messed up!
You know crap happens and you just have to figure out if this was an anomaly , if this is par for the course with this person and you should not asked him in the first place or you just know they’re not reliable and you don’t ask them again this is not a world ending event.

+ 1000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So glad to see DCUM band together to coddle adult men and have no expectation on them being capable to pick up a child on time from a timed event.

This. Why do we excuse men of such irresponsibility? OP asked a family member a favor. He said yes. She reasonably relied on that agreement. BIL failed to comply the request. He is a POS - particularly given the weight of the request and involvement of OP's child.

Lesson learned, OP. Never ask this guy for anything. And stop doing him favors. You're enabling him.

And to all the PPs saying you have to pay people for favors. No, you do not. That is what a favor is. There is approximately zero chance on this planet that I would pay my brother(s) for a favor - particularly when I already do so much for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 pages of people overreacting. How did the BIL respond afterwards? He’s a single guy, he probably didn’t get the urgency. My husband is a good dad and responsible at work but terrible with time. When he absolutely had to be there for the kids, I tell him 15-30 min earlier than needed.

The BIL may not have realized the issue with being a little late. I’m a teacher and a parent and I don’t think this is something to be outraged over. He did you a favor. Now he knows and if he doesn’t get it, don’t ask him again.

Overreacting is right. It's interesting to me as a teacher because with all these angry people you wouldn't think I'd ever had to stay with a kid for late pickup.