BIL 30 min late to pick up our kid from school

[Anonymous]

How is your child OP? Was he/she afraid or scared or did the teacher simply handle it? If the child was good, gift card and a thank you note to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 pages of people overreacting. How did the BIL respond afterwards? He’s a single guy, he probably didn’t get the urgency. My husband is a good dad and responsible at work but terrible with time. When he absolutely had to be there for the kids, I tell him 15-30 min earlier than needed.

The BIL may not have realized the issue with being a little late. I’m a teacher and a parent and I don’t think this is something to be outraged over. He did you a favor. Now he knows and if he doesn’t get it, don’t ask him again.

As a teacher do you enjoy standing outside for 25 minutes waiting for a child's late ride? Don't you have anything else to do?

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of PPs say “not BIL’s responsibility”, but sometimes we really do need help, you know? Hopefully it’s rare, but things do happen beyond our control. DH had multiple surgeries and another time my mom was in the hospital. It was a relief to have family and friends help us and make sure our kids were ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of PPs say “not BIL’s responsibility”, but sometimes we really do need help, you know? Hopefully it’s rare, but things do happen beyond our control. DH had multiple surgeries and another time my mom was in the hospital. It was a relief to have family and friends help us and make sure our kids were ok.

+1. Everyone jumped on OP because that's what happens here. If another adult agrees to do you a favor then they should do it. Since adult BIL attended school he should be aware there is a pick up time and kid is waiting. OP sorry for all the negativity you experienced with this post.

[Anonymous]

BIL is a chronically late person. He is the type of person to pick him mom up from the airport an hour late because of traffic. He misses dinner with our family and shows up after dinner.

So, of the millions of ways that maybe he would be useful in helping in your life, you picked something that basically set him (and your child) up for failure.

Knowing this about him, why would you think it would be different? Was it supposed some kind of test? I mean, it had exactly the result I would expect it to have, and I don’t even know him or you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it his job to pick up YOUR kid? Are you paying him?

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of PPs say “not BIL’s responsibility”, but sometimes we really do need help, you know? Hopefully it’s rare, but things do happen beyond our control. DH had multiple surgeries and another time my mom was in the hospital. It was a relief to have family and friends help us and make sure our kids were ok.

But I trust you didn’t ask the person in your family who doesn’t cook to stock your fridge, or elderly grandma to mow the lawn.

People help in their capacities. BIL is chronically late. He did get there vs. Forgot and didn’t show at all.

It’s not necessarily great, but faux outrage on something happening that always happens is asinine.

[Anonymous]

Someone who picks up his presumably senior citizen mother 1 hour late from the airport was not going to get your child on time. Hope springs eternal and all but I’m not understanding the thinking here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:This is why I hate asking people for favors. Absolutely hate it. Even the most well-intentioned people can mess it up.

That's why I hate doing favors, even with all my good intentions they will still find a way to make me feel bad that I did not do it up to their standards.

Showing up on time to pick up a child from school is a pretty low bar.

Only when you are a SAHM. Some of us have to work.

OP. Said. BIL. worked. A. Half. Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I hate asking people for favors. Absolutely hate it. Even the most well-intentioned people can mess it up.

That's why I hate doing favors, even with all my good intentions they will still find a way to make me feel bad that I did not do it up to their standards.

Showing up on time to pick up a child from school is a pretty low bar.

Only when you are a SAHM. Some of us have to work.

If you can’t commit to being there on time, then you shouldn’t commit to doing the favor. Parents who work have to figure this out every day because showing up 30 minutes late for pick-up at school, daycare, etc. isn’t optional.

- WOHM who has never picked their kid up 30 min late

Well aren’t you perfect .

It sucks, but that’s what you sign up for when you have kids.

You sign up to be perfect, because I did not get the memo!
Did you push it out with the afterbirth, because all I got was placenta.

Does it really need to be explained to you that it’s a dick move to force some other adult to watch your kid for an extra 30 min because you didn’t get there on time? It’s one thing if it’s something truly unavoidable, like you get in a car accident on the way there and you can’t reach any back up people to get them, but there is nothing in OP’s post to suggest anything like that happened.

Does it need to be explained to you that when that crap happens you get pushed, let the guy know you are displeased, know not to use him again and move on, no need to create all the drama?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- You cannot imagine being late, as in no circumstance in which you were late , really???
- Did you remind him ahead of time , like 30-60 min ahead of time?
- Is he usually late for stuff?
- So don’t ask him to do this again, that is your solution, why is it necessary to post about it?
- Are you looking for suggestions on appropriate punishment for BIL?

Op here. Dh does a million favors for BIL. He helped him in college, grad school, financially, getting his first job, etc. BIL never does anything for Dh in return and the one time DH asks BIL, he let us down.

Dh won’t hold a grudge and will continue to help his brother out all the time.

BIL is a chronically late person. He is the type of person to pick him mom up from the airport an hour late because of traffic. He misses dinner with our family and shows up after dinner.

HE IS CHRONICALLY LATE AND YOU ASKED HIM TO DO SOMETHING THAT IS PREDICATED ON TIME?
BE MAD AT YOURSELF! THAT’S DUMB!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of PPs say “not BIL’s responsibility”, but sometimes we really do need help, you know? Hopefully it’s rare, but things do happen beyond our control. DH had multiple surgeries and another time my mom was in the hospital. It was a relief to have family and friends help us and make sure our kids were ok.

But I trust you didn’t ask the person in your family who doesn’t cook to stock your fridge, or elderly grandma to mow the lawn.

People help in their capacities. BIL is chronically late. He did get there vs. Forgot and didn’t show at all.

It’s not necessarily great, but faux outrage on something happening that always happens is asinine.

AMEN!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lesson learned. He is unreliable for this task. Don’t ask him ever again.

And he will appreciate it.

Right. And I would also file it away for the time he asks me to do a favor.

Lol…he will never ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 pages of people overreacting. How did the BIL respond afterwards? He’s a single guy, he probably didn’t get the urgency. My husband is a good dad and responsible at work but terrible with time. When he absolutely had to be there for the kids, I tell him 15-30 min earlier than needed.

The BIL may not have realized the issue with being a little late. I’m a teacher and a parent and I don’t think this is something to be outraged over. He did you a favor. Now he knows and if he doesn’t get it, don’t ask him again.

Then he is not a good dad. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- You cannot imagine being late, as in no circumstance in which you were late , really???
- Did you remind him ahead of time , like 30-60 min ahead of time?
- Is he usually late for stuff?
- So don’t ask him to do this again, that is your solution, why is it necessary to post about it?
- Are you looking for suggestions on appropriate punishment for BIL?

Op here. Dh does a million favors for BIL. He helped him in college, grad school, financially, getting his first job, etc. BIL never does anything for Dh in return and the one time DH asks BIL, he let us down.

Dh won’t hold a grudge and will continue to help his brother out all the time.

BIL is a chronically late person. He is the type of person to pick him mom up from the airport an hour late because of traffic. He misses dinner with our family and shows up after dinner.

If you know this then why did you expect him to pick up your child on time? Bad judgement on your part.