If you are upper middle class parent, tell me why you sent your kid(s) to private schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We believed it was the best thing for our kids. Simple as that. What’s the point of being (relatively) high income and not spending it on something as important as the education of your kids? What else would we do with it, international travel and cars?

A third option is to invest it for the kids so they can pay for private for their kids without having a stressful job 😀

It’s not easy for us but we think it is worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did it to get my kids a great education and help with college admissions. Big mistake on the latter.

Can you elaborate on the college admissions but? Do you regret going private? I figure college is a craps shoot since it’s so competitive coming from
This area. What school are your kids at?

Kids went to a highly regarded private in DC. We were shocked at how broken the college admissions process is. It's not just a crapshoot, it's geared for certain groups to get in and leaves academically high achieving non minority middle class kids out. Kids in the top ten of their class ending up at schools that used to be for B- students. The college counselors no longer have connections with top colleges. The caliber of the high school doesn't matter anymore for college admissions. In fact it can actually hurt.

I can believe this. I love private for elementary and middle. We might peel away before HS. I also am dubious of the "highly regarded" ones. Maybe a solid, less regarded one that treats all kids more equally?

I second you being dubious about the highly regarded privates. I know first hand that privates are shrewd in marketing to parents that they are the solution.
Our highly regarded private also has a draw to parents who thrive in cult-like circles.

Can you tell me more about these cult-like circles? 😀

The independent Catholic schools not linked to a parish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

Why is it that whenever someone posts a question asking for feedback from parents who sent their kids to private school, they’re always answered instead by parents who feel the need to explain why they didn’t do so? I mean, OK, thanks, have a cookie I guess.

[Anonymous]

I thought about what kind of place would I prefer to work? A small, caring corporation where I could have meaningful discussions at many levels in many departments or a large, bureaucratic organization where I might have a good boss or team from time to time but might also be left on my own. Both have its pluses. Our children visited both, gravitated towards private, and now they’re happy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

Why is it that whenever someone posts a question asking for feedback from parents who sent their kids to private school, they’re always answered instead by parents who feel the need to explain why they didn’t do so? I mean, OK, thanks, have a cookie I guess.

Ha! Great question! I think people feel defensive + do not want you to think that they just cannot afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.





Lots of overeducated insecure moms on this blog.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

Why is it that whenever someone posts a question asking for feedback from parents who sent their kids to private school, they’re always answered instead by parents who feel the need to explain why they didn’t do so? I mean, OK, thanks, have a cookie I guess.

Ha! Great question! I think people feel defensive + do not want you to think that they just cannot afford it.

[Anonymous]

Lots of overeducated insecure moms on this blog.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

Why is it that whenever someone posts a question asking for feedback from parents who sent their kids to private school, they’re always answered instead by parents who feel the need to explain why they didn’t do so? I mean, OK, thanks, have a cookie I guess.

Ha! Great question! I think people feel defensive + do not want you to think that they just cannot afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

Why is it that whenever someone posts a question asking for feedback from parents who sent their kids to private school, they’re always answered instead by parents who feel the need to explain why they didn’t do so? I mean, OK, thanks, have a cookie I guess.

Exactly! Just answer the OP.

[Anonymous]

We are about $325k HHI w 2 kids in a $20ish - k per year school. It hurts, and I'm pained by people who assume we're wealthier than we are. Having said that, this whole thread ignores wealth (not income), which is a huuuuuge deal when it comes to all of this. For us, it started with a bad DCPS experience and we just wound up a little... stuck (?) in our private. Now with middle school, it seems hard to pull away from friends and community, especially after the drama of the last two years. Did we make the right decision? I'll never know. It's probably best to make a plan for a year and reassess based on where your family and kid is at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are about $325k HHI w 2 kids in a $20ish - k per year school. It hurts, and I'm pained by people who assume we're wealthier than we are. Having said that, this whole thread ignores wealth (not income), which is a huuuuuge deal when it comes to all of this. For us, it started with a bad DCPS experience and we just wound up a little... stuck (?) in our private. Now with middle school, it seems hard to pull away from friends and community, especially after the drama of the last two years. Did we make the right decision? I'll never know. It's probably best to make a plan for a year and reassess based on where your family and kid is at.

At $325 spending 40k, is the "hurt" because you have to forgo things that you had in the past or the general opportunity cost of not investing that money or using it other ways?

I make way less than you, and am looking at spending a similar % of gross income. I can't decide if it's an amazing opportunity or an I'll advised money suck. I will never know unless I try.

I also know that my experience with this one kid at this one school is not generalizable to others because mileage varies.

[Anonymous]

Class sizes

Learning specialists excellent at 3 privates our kids attended - much more practical and responsive than at the public school our DC attended.

Advisory system where adults in community know your child well

Athletics where many different types of students can compete

Peers - families who value education

Balance of academics, arts, athletics, and spiritual components of school experience

Lunches way better than at public school

Focus on whole child/ youth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

This post is just one big long massive cope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Class sizes

Learning specialists excellent at 3 privates our kids attended - much more practical and responsive than at the public school our DC attended.

Advisory system where adults in community know your child well

Athletics where many different types of students can compete

Peers - families who value education

Balance of academics, arts, athletics, and spiritual components of school experience

Lunches way better than at public school

Focus on whole child/ youth

Much of your reasons are a bunch of private school marketing bs and my kid attends private.

[Anonymous]

Security. There has never been a mass shooting at a private school.