If you are upper middle class parent, tell me why you sent your kid(s) to private schools?

[Anonymous]

When you guys talk about HHI? Do you include investment income on the top of W-2 income? just curious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

Why is it that whenever someone posts a question asking for feedback from parents who sent their kids to private school, they’re always answered instead by parents who feel the need to explain why they didn’t do so? I mean, OK, thanks, have a cookie I guess.

Exactly! Just answer the OP.

It always makes me laugh, imagine if I spent my time responding to all of the posts on the soccer forum with replies about why my kids don't play soccer because it's a dangerous sport and far worse for their development than, let's say, tennis? Or if we trolled the trying to conceive forum with posts about the merits of staying childless by choice? I understand that most of my neighbors have chosen to send their kids to our local public school and I have no criticism of their choice for their kids, why do the anti-private school trolls show up in the private school forum so often?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are about $325k HHI w 2 kids in a $20ish - k per year school. It hurts, and I'm pained by people who assume we're wealthier than we are. Having said that, this whole thread ignores wealth (not income), which is a huuuuuge deal when it comes to all of this. For us, it started with a bad DCPS experience and we just wound up a little... stuck (?) in our private. Now with middle school, it seems hard to pull away from friends and community, especially after the drama of the last two years. Did we make the right decision? I'll never know. It's probably best to make a plan for a year and reassess based on where your family and kid is at.

If you make $325k/year, you make a lot of money. I’m sorry to inform you of that but it’s true. It may not be enough to live the high-flying lifestyle you envision, but join the frigging club. The fact that you think you “middle class” just because you can’t afford $100k/year in tuition suggests a deep delusion that’s going to damage your kids far more than anything that happens at public school.

[Anonymous]

Social climbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are about $325k HHI w 2 kids in a $20ish - k per year school. It hurts, and I'm pained by people who assume we're wealthier than we are. Having said that, this whole thread ignores wealth (not income), which is a huuuuuge deal when it comes to all of this. For us, it started with a bad DCPS experience and we just wound up a little... stuck (?) in our private. Now with middle school, it seems hard to pull away from friends and community, especially after the drama of the last two years. Did we make the right decision? I'll never know. It's probably best to make a plan for a year and reassess based on where your family and kid is at.

If you make $325k/year, you make a lot of money. I’m sorry to inform you of that but it’s true. It may not be enough to live the high-flying lifestyle you envision, but join the frigging club. The fact that you think you “middle class” just because you can’t afford $100k/year in tuition suggests a deep delusion that’s going to damage your kids far more than anything that happens at public school.

325K is lousy…lift your goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Security. There has never been a mass shooting at a private school.

+1. Private schools can expel the troubled students and they have far better door and grounds security even in the city.

[Anonymous]

Because our kids have social skills challenges that don’t seem like a big deal to a public school teacher with 30 kids, but it is something that a private school teacher with a class of 12-15 kids can help us with. Our kids are happy and really growing and improving on this.

[Anonymous]

HHI 200k
3 kids, 1 currently in private high school. All kids went K-8 to public. Of the older 2, 1 to private high school, 1 to public high school.
For us, the final straw for kid 3 was the pandemic. I believe our public school district did a poor job with distance "learning". I was concerned that the trend might continue, with not being able to make up for 1.5 years of crappy learning as she entered high school.
Definitely a stretch for us and it changes the college options, but we just felt it was worth it. 7 months later, we are very happy we made the switch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are about $325k HHI w 2 kids in a $20ish - k per year school. It hurts, and I'm pained by people who assume we're wealthier than we are. Having said that, this whole thread ignores wealth (not income), which is a huuuuuge deal when it comes to all of this. For us, it started with a bad DCPS experience and we just wound up a little... stuck (?) in our private. Now with middle school, it seems hard to pull away from friends and community, especially after the drama of the last two years. Did we make the right decision? I'll never know. It's probably best to make a plan for a year and reassess based on where your family and kid is at.

If you make $325k/year, you make a lot of money. I’m sorry to inform you of that but it’s true. It may not be enough to live the high-flying lifestyle you envision, but join the frigging club. The fact that you think you “middle class” just because you can’t afford $100k/year in tuition suggests a deep delusion that’s going to damage your kids far more than anything that happens at public school.

325K is lousy…lift your goals.

And this is why everyone hates you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are about $325k HHI w 2 kids in a $20ish - k per year school. It hurts, and I'm pained by people who assume we're wealthier than we are. Having said that, this whole thread ignores wealth (not income), which is a huuuuuge deal when it comes to all of this. For us, it started with a bad DCPS experience and we just wound up a little... stuck (?) in our private. Now with middle school, it seems hard to pull away from friends and community, especially after the drama of the last two years. Did we make the right decision? I'll never know. It's probably best to make a plan for a year and reassess based on where your family and kid is at.

If you make $325k/year, you make a lot of money. I’m sorry to inform you of that but it’s true. It may not be enough to live the high-flying lifestyle you envision, but join the frigging club. The fact that you think you “middle class” just because you can’t afford $100k/year in tuition suggests a deep delusion that’s going to damage your kids far more than anything that happens at public school.

After maxing out 401ks for both parents, any other deductibles, and paying taxes, 40k/year out of the remaining is a significant chunk. I'm sympathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

Why is it that whenever someone posts a question asking for feedback from parents who sent their kids to private school, they’re always answered instead by parents who feel the need to explain why they didn’t do so? I mean, OK, thanks, have a cookie I guess.

Why is it that when a public school parent complains about something in the public school forum, a private school parent always goes on there and says, "This is why I'm sooo glad my kid is in private".

I mean.. I guess they deserve a cookie for a job well done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are about $325k HHI w 2 kids in a $20ish - k per year school. It hurts, and I'm pained by people who assume we're wealthier than we are. Having said that, this whole thread ignores wealth (not income), which is a huuuuuge deal when it comes to all of this. For us, it started with a bad DCPS experience and we just wound up a little... stuck (?) in our private. Now with middle school, it seems hard to pull away from friends and community, especially after the drama of the last two years. Did we make the right decision? I'll never know. It's probably best to make a plan for a year and reassess based on where your family and kid is at.

If you make $325k/year, you make a lot of money. I’m sorry to inform you of that but it’s true. It may not be enough to live the high-flying lifestyle you envision, but join the frigging club. The fact that you think you “middle class” just because you can’t afford $100k/year in tuition suggests a deep delusion that’s going to damage your kids far more than anything that happens at public school.

After maxing out 401ks for both parents, any other deductibles, and paying taxes, 40k/year out of the remaining is a significant chunk. I'm sympathetic.

:tinyviolin:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I think in public school I learned to self-advocate for my basic needs, like using the restroom, unfair grading (eg when I was falsely accused of plagiarism), or access to medication. But I don’t want my kids to even have to advocate for that crap. I think they’re learning to advocate for their views rather than their right to pee.

In my experience with kids in both, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Privates provide a lot of opportunities to learn how to communicate and advocate with adults at an equal level with adults. Public sel-advocacy is more focused on advocating for basic respectful treatment or access to resources, all of which are just accepted as a given in private school.

This kind of private v public education is kind of ridiculous. It's an apples to orange comparison.

Private schools are small, and it's much easier to deal with truancy, kids roaming the hallways, kids trying to abuse the system and get away with sh1tty behavior, etc.. than in a large public.

If that's what you want to pay for, sure, but it's only "better" because you are paying for that.

During VL, I did consider private for my younger DC who is not as mature for their age (late late summer bday) so DC needs more hand holding, but for my older DC in HS who has always been mature for their age (also summer bday), this DC wouldn't be as challenged in private compared to the magnet public.

After RTS, my younger DC has really flourished and matured, and I think this DC will do very well in our large public that is able to offer interesting class choices and hundreds of clubs to choose from.

Why is it that whenever someone posts a question asking for feedback from parents who sent their kids to private school, they’re always answered instead by parents who feel the need to explain why they didn’t do so? I mean, OK, thanks, have a cookie I guess.

Why is it that when a public school parent complains about something in the public school forum, a private school parent always goes on there and says, "This is why I'm sooo glad my kid is in private".

I mean.. I guess they deserve a cookie for a job well done.

Uh, okay? You also can go ahead and tell those parents that they’re also unhelpfully interjecting their choices into a conversation that has nothing to do with them. Go forth and enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Small class sizes
Amazing facilities
Responsive faculty and staff
Focus on things outside academics from the start
Lots of PE and recess
Great arts, athletics, and library
Big focus on writing and grammar
Very personalized teaching
Development of a love of learning
Great community
There’s more, too, but that’s what came to my head this morning. Worth every penny in my book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because I wanted my child to learn more then just read and write. I wanted her to learn to self advocate, think outside the box and encouraged to take risks. HHI 225 and we make many sacrifices for her to attend.

It is interesting that you think privates are better at teaching kids to self advocate. I am all for privates for people who can afford them and think they can be superior in many ways, but I have always thought that one of the downsides is that kids are a bit more coddled and so don't learn to self-advocate as much. After all, their parents are the customers, which is not true in private schools.

I do believe there is something about the private environment teaching the kids to advocate. Whether it’s entitlement or in my opinion just being used to having extra resources - it makes a difference. When I went to college as a woman and minority in STEM there were a ton of resources for me, but I did not use them. I’d never had extra help at my not great high school and I just thought I was supposed to do it all on my own. I thought using the resources was a sign that I was doing poorly. The kids that came from private schools did not think twice about asking for help if needed. They weren’t ‘scared’ of the professors. They made use of the resources. It was like they were not trying to prove (like I was) that they belonged there - they knew they did. You can tell I’ve had some time to think about this.

I went to private school and I knew the teachers were there for me and I could ask questions and seek what I needed. My husband went to MCPS and felt like no one cared about him or how he did so he never asked anything.