NYTs Etiquette - "I Refused to Switch Seats on a Plane. Twice. Was I Wrong?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I would like to live in a society that gives a little more grace and has a little more patience for society’s very young and very old (and their caretakers). Kindness is a value I love to see in companies and individuals alike.

That's nice. But not how life works. As a family of 5, traveling just costs more for us and a lot of things are less convenient. It is what it is. We can't book a single hotel room, because max occupancy is usually 4 so we always need 2 rooms. We have to rent bigger cars. if we go to a theme park someone has to ride alone when seating arrangements are 2x2. So we pay to pick our seats because we want to sit together. As a former single traveler it was nice to be flexible and travel more freely. Eventually the nest will be empty and I can get back to it but for now we just deal with it since it was our choice to be family of 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I would like to live in a society that gives a little more grace and has a little more patience for society’s very young and very old (and their caretakers). Kindness is a value I love to see in companies and individuals alike.

Why are families the only ones deserving of kindness? Look at it this way--you have your loving family. Someone flying alone may be single and desperately lonely and sad about it. Who deserves the grace and compassion? It's this kind of myopia that makes parents of young children so repugnant at times.

Disclaimer: there's nothing intrinsically wrong with being single and many single people are happy and content.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I usually fly Southwest, where families have every opportunity to pay a bit more to choose whatever seats they want. Inevitably, there is some family that doesn't and then wants everyone to move around so they can sit together.

I was once asked to move from my aisle seat to the middle seat in the same row so the dad could sit on the aisle across from the mom and two kids. I said no. They were pissed. The mom tried twice to get the flight attendant to make me move. Fortunately, he wouldn't.

The minute the plane took off, the dad fell asleep.

The dad was so happy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We could fix this if Congress just passed a law that required airlines to provide pre-booking of seats to families with a child under the age of 13 at no-cost. There should not be a fee for a family to select their seats in economy class so that they can ensure they sit together.

Of course, Congress wouldn't need to resort to this if airlines just had a modicum of responsibility toward their customers. If it's not explicitly legislated, they will degrade service and quality in the pursuit of another buck.

As long as this doesn't give families the first shot at aisle seats. Families should be able to choose window and middles together.

Why shouldn't they get to choose aisles?

I've seen aisle seats on some flights as an extra fare, when the window and center were not. (Would have been either American or United. I've been booking on both airlines recently.)

Really? This is your quibble against families with minor kids who need to sit together?

Typically, a family needs 3-4 seats. They should be able to book their row together for free, including the aisle seat.

Why? Why should a family get preferential pricing over everyone else on the plane?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We could fix this if Congress just passed a law that required airlines to provide pre-booking of seats to families with a child under the age of 13 at no-cost. There should not be a fee for a family to select their seats in economy class so that they can ensure they sit together.

Of course, Congress wouldn't need to resort to this if airlines just had a modicum of responsibility toward their customers. If it's not explicitly legislated, they will degrade service and quality in the pursuit of another buck.

As long as this doesn't give families the first shot at aisle seats. Families should be able to choose window and middles together.

Why shouldn't they get to choose aisles?

I've seen aisle seats on some flights as an extra fare, when the window and center were not. (Would have been either American or United. I've been booking on both airlines recently.)

Really? This is your quibble against families with minor kids who need to sit together?

Typically, a family needs 3-4 seats. They should be able to book their row together for free, including the aisle seat.

Why? Why should a family get preferential pricing over everyone else on the plane?

That will never in a million years become a Federal requirement. Not separating young children - yes. Preferential pricing for voluntary travel? No.

[Anonymous]

The problem with flight attendants grabbing people and asking them to switch is that there are lots of hidden disabilities that people have that they shouldn't have to disclose. I have kidney issues and need to be close to a bathroom, etc. I also remember being pregnant and therefore wanting to be close to a bathroom (still in the morning sickness stage) and traveling with colleagues. I shouldn't have to disclose my pregnancy in front of my colleagues in order to keep the seat that I paid for.
You have no idea why anyone purchased a particular seat and you have no right to ask or to ask them to switch it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I would like to live in a society that gives a little more grace and has a little more patience for society’s very young and very old (and their caretakers). Kindness is a value I love to see in companies and individuals alike.

Have you ever taken a flight to Florida? They let all the old people board first and that's about seventy five percent of the plane. The very old get plenty of special privileges already and they can be a large group these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I would like to live in a society that gives a little more grace and has a little more patience for society’s very young and very old (and their caretakers). Kindness is a value I love to see in companies and individuals alike.

That's nice. But not how life works. As a family of 5, traveling just costs more for us and a lot of things are less convenient. It is what it is. We can't book a single hotel room, because max occupancy is usually 4 so we always need 2 rooms. We have to rent bigger cars. if we go to a theme park someone has to ride alone when seating arrangements are 2x2. So we pay to pick our seats because we want to sit together. As a former single traveler it was nice to be flexible and travel more freely. Eventually the nest will be empty and I can get back to it but for now we just deal with it since it was our choice to be family of 5.

Agree 100%. We are a family of 5 and would never book a flight where I couldn't get seat assignments that put all of us together at the time we book. If someone did that and was separated by the airline I have sympathy but if you didn't and need things moved around asking for the 1st row of the plane seems very entitled. It is also irresponsible if you see that most of the plane has seats booked and all of the "x's showing what is already taken to book it anyway counting on the fact that you have a child and others will be forced to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I would like to live in a society that gives a little more grace and has a little more patience for society’s very young and very old (and their caretakers). Kindness is a value I love to see in companies and individuals alike.

That's nice. But not how life works. As a family of 5, traveling just costs more for us and a lot of things are less convenient. It is what it is. We can't book a single hotel room, because max occupancy is usually 4 so we always need 2 rooms. We have to rent bigger cars. if we go to a theme park someone has to ride alone when seating arrangements are 2x2. So we pay to pick our seats because we want to sit together. As a former single traveler it was nice to be flexible and travel more freely. Eventually the nest will be empty and I can get back to it but for now we just deal with it since it was our choice to be family of 5.

I still think people should be kinder to those with young children with them, including you, even if you don't want the person at the hotel to be kind and say "you know, the baby doesn't have to count as a 5th person in your hotel room if you just want to set up a pack n play for her in your first room". Because for most people, that would be a nice, helpful, kind, dare I say normal, thing to say and do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with flight attendants grabbing people and asking them to switch is that there are lots of hidden disabilities that people have that they shouldn't have to disclose. I have kidney issues and need to be close to a bathroom, etc. I also remember being pregnant and therefore wanting to be close to a bathroom (still in the morning sickness stage) and traveling with colleagues. I shouldn't have to disclose my pregnancy in front of my colleagues in order to keep the seat that I paid for.
You have no idea why anyone purchased a particular seat and you have no right to ask or to ask them to switch it.

Good reminder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s behind a paywall so I can’t read the article and comment. Please remember not everyone has a subscription to NYT. These posts with links that people can’t see are annoying.

If you're already hitting the paywall, it means you've read your articles for the month.

Subscribe you cheap f#ck. Good journalism isn't free.

There are no free articles any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s behind a paywall so I can’t read the article and comment. Please remember not everyone has a subscription to NYT. These posts with links that people can’t see are annoying.

You are so irritating and pesky.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't give up the bulkhead if i'd specifically chosen it. But i don't see why I wouldn't switch from one aisle seat to another, to help out a mom trying to sit next to her 3 year old because they missed their connection and couldn't be seated together. Like, good lord, people really wouldn't just move to the other equal seat, for the principal of it?

I don't know if I'd move to a middle seat unless i was compensated, unless it was a short (less than 2 hour) flight. In which case, who really cares, it's up and down and you're flying alone so you're going to be watching a show on your phone or reading a book or getting some work done, it's not like you're going to be sleeping or getting up and down to the bathroom or being there for an extended time. I understand it should be on the airline to fix this ahead of boarding, but sometimes it's nice just to do the right thing for another human.

[Anonymous]

Airlines need to find a way to credit your extra fee back if you give up that seat you paid for. That would make me much more likely to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with flight attendants grabbing people and asking them to switch is that there are lots of hidden disabilities that people have that they shouldn't have to disclose. I have kidney issues and need to be close to a bathroom, etc. I also remember being pregnant and therefore wanting to be close to a bathroom (still in the morning sickness stage) and traveling with colleagues. I shouldn't have to disclose my pregnancy in front of my colleagues in order to keep the seat that I paid for.
You have no idea why anyone purchased a particular seat and you have no right to ask or to ask them to switch it.

I agree. I have arthritic knees (good and bad days) but I never disclose it though I hate getting up and down and never take an aisle seat if I can help it....always a window. I'm always the last one off just in case my knees slow me down. Not dealing with the 'you're moving too slow' crowd.