Child transferred from other class has completely changed the feeling of a classroom - wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thank you to the first few posters - no, I haven't spoken to the teacher yet, mainly because I just don't know what I should say or what help I should ask for, so thank you for providing suggestions regarding how to ask for that help/support.

You sound crazy. Some of the PPs are describing extreme situations in which concerns are valid.

You sound like your are whining because your perfect snowflake has a child in their class who is less than perfect. You are the type of parent that teachers mock behind your back.

. Teacher here. No this parent does not sound crazy. Their child is upset by this change. A truly troubled ES student can indeed tank a previously harmonious class if they are really out of control (violent, suicidal, elopement risk, constantly sharing disturbing details of their lives, menacing to other children).

Another teacher here. Agree. The parent doesn't sound crazy at all. We do NOT talk about parents like this behind their backs. These type of parents help everyone. She is calm, advocating in a calm way for her own child and her advocacy will likely help the other child too. Instead of the system stalling on true help for the violent child, its possible this might speed true help up.

Another teacher. If a parent told me a child was in tears from a new child "completely changed the feeling of a classroom" and took up too much of my time I would be truly concerned about her child (not the other child.) There are always disruptive kids every year in my class and most of the other kids handle it fine. Their parents often don't even know because it's not a part of the day that they report. back to their parents. If your child is having this type of reaction I would get our counselor involved and try to figure out what exactly is upsetting your child.

I have had children like this who are extra sensitive and there are things we can do to watch out for them like putting them in a seat further away from the disruptive child or making sure they are not put in the same groups for assignments. Let the teacher know. Realize that your child's reaction is not extremely unusual but it's also not not the common reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry your kid is going through this and im so glad my kids are in private. This kid would just be asked to leave and they never switch classes, even when a request is made.

If my kid were in this position I would complain to the teacher and the principal in writing every time an incident happened. It is not fair for one student to disrupt the education of the others. That said I'm also sure they are aware of the problem and will probably do nothing.

Being in private doesn't always solve this problem. The admin plays the game on who pays/donates the most. When it is the family of the disruptive kids then everyone else gets stuck with the kid. This happened to us a few years ago. We were told that if we had a problem we were free to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of assumptions on this thread for a kid whose “crime” is unspecified disruption and taking up too much of the teachers’ time. Talk to the teacher, op. You’ve no way of knowing what’s going on until you do, and neither do we.

Exactly. There are two sides to every story. And I'm in shock people are suggesting pressing charges. WTF??

My god. Times have changed.

I think it's just a few extreme posters who are jumping to conclusions when that kid does not sound particularly troublesome at all. I agree with the poster who said it's possible OP's child may just be upset about the change. Change is hard in general and with the pandemic it's even harder IMO. I would also gently suggest to OP that if there are no extreme behaviors from the other child that may be triggering her child that she may want to look at anxiety issues and potentially Asperger's for her child as change can create more dramatic expressions of emotion in children with these challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of assumptions on this thread for a kid whose “crime” is unspecified disruption and taking up too much of the teachers’ time. Talk to the teacher, op. You’ve no way of knowing what’s going on until you do, and neither do we.

Exactly. There are two sides to every story. And I'm in shock people are suggesting pressing charges. WTF??

My god. Times have changed.

OP here - what? Pressing charges? I think someone else hijacked my thread and there are two different things you're talking about. There has been no violence against my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would focus on why your child is in tears all day. It doesn't sound like a lot is happening in the class that is out of the norm. You may have left out important details but if it's just a disruptive child who takes up a lot of the teacher's time and your child is literally crying when she comes home that's not normal.

I would get her evaluated ASAP.

OP here. Yes, I have left out some details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thank you to the first few posters - no, I haven't spoken to the teacher yet, mainly because I just don't know what I should say or what help I should ask for, so thank you for providing suggestions regarding how to ask for that help/support.

You sound crazy. Some of the PPs are describing extreme situations in which concerns are valid.

You sound like your are whining because your perfect snowflake has a child in their class who is less than perfect. You are the type of parent that teachers mock behind your back.

. Teacher here. No this parent does not sound crazy. Their child is upset by this change. A truly troubled ES student can indeed tank a previously harmonious class if they are really out of control (violent, suicidal, elopement risk, constantly sharing disturbing details of their lives, menacing to other children).

Another teacher here. Agree. The parent doesn't sound crazy at all. We do NOT talk about parents like this behind their backs. These type of parents help everyone. She is calm, advocating in a calm way for her own child and her advocacy will likely help the other child too. Instead of the system stalling on true help for the violent child, its possible this might speed true help up.

Another teacher. If a parent told me a child was in tears from a new child "completely changed the feeling of a classroom" and took up too much of my time I would be truly concerned about her child (not the other child.) There are always disruptive kids every year in my class and most of the other kids handle it fine. Their parents often don't even know because it's not a part of the day that they report. back to their parents. If your child is having this type of reaction I would get our counselor involved and try to figure out what exactly is upsetting your child.

I have had children like this who are extra sensitive and there are things we can do to watch out for them like putting them in a seat further away from the disruptive child or making sure they are not put in the same groups for assignments. Let the teacher know. Realize that your child's reaction is not extremely unusual but it's also not not the common reaction.

Yes, I understand that, and that is why I'm asking for help.

[Anonymous]

-ask the teacher not to have this child seated near my child and not to have to work in a group with my child. i would also communicate this to the specials teachers so my child doesn't inadvertently get put with this other child as a partner in PE and so they can also watch out for interactions in recess.
-i would get my child a therapist or ask the school counselor to talk to her about managing her emotions and what is causing her to get so upset. there are strategies for helping a child achieve a more balanced emotions. what exactly is causing her to cry. is it stress, fear, anger? is it certain behaviors from the child or just the stress of the unknown or of change?
-if this does not work i would ask for my child to be switched to a different class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child's classroom has been very calm and chill this year, and she has thrived in that environment. It's just a calm teacher and a great group of kids. A few weeks ago, a child from another class transferred into her class and ever since then, she has been so upset and kind of a mess at the end of every day. It sounds like this child is very disruptive, takes up a lot of the teacher's attention, and has really changed the environment of the room up a lot. The child is not new to the school, just switched classes. If this was so upsetting to your child - to the point where they were in tears when talking about their day whereas previously it was going great, child was happy in school and enjoyed it very much, what would you do? Is there anything that I can do, or does she just have to ride it out and hope it gets better? It has been three weeks - this is week 4.

This is public school. Welcome

[Anonymous]

You can work to help your own child be resilient, as others have said, but I also do think it's important to speak up to the teacher to find out more about what's going on. The teacher may not be able to say much, but the teacher may ask you to raise your concerns to the administration. It may be that the new child needs more support than the teacher is able to give, and the teacher may appreciate that you spoke up.

There is always going to be a certain level of disruption in a classroom that kids need to learn to deal with ... but sometimes situations rise to an extreme that really isn't workable. I speak from experience -- a few years ago, my child's teacher broke down into tears in front of her students because of the disruptive child, there were multiple times the class had to all leave the classroom so admin could calm down the child, etc. Nobody wasn't being well served.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can work to help your own child be resilient, as others have said, but I also do think it's important to speak up to the teacher to find out more about what's going on. The teacher may not be able to say much, but the teacher may ask you to raise your concerns to the administration. It may be that the new child needs more support than the teacher is able to give, and the teacher may appreciate that you spoke up.

There is always going to be a certain level of disruption in a classroom that kids need to learn to deal with ... but sometimes situations rise to an extreme that really isn't workable. I speak from experience -- a few years ago, my child's teacher broke down into tears in front of her students because of the disruptive child, there were multiple times the class had to all leave the classroom so admin could calm down the child, etc. Nobody wasn't being well served.

We had this same situation and in this case the teacher needed more training. They didn't realize this until they took data and saw that the child never had issues with subs or in specials. They sent a specialist from the district to observe the class and realized she has her own anxiety/control/OCD issues and was flying off the handle when little things went wrong. It wasn't just limited to this child but other children too and she was creating a very stressful atmosphere. They gave her an aide for a few months and in the summer she got more training. She continued to experience problems for 2-3 more years when the administration kept helping her. She is a nice teacher and good at some things but needed to work on classroom management. The formerly disruptive child had no problems the next year or any following years with new teachers. My child is in this child's class again this year and no problems.