News 4: Since when was it the school's responsibility to teach kids how to tie their shoes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Parents are pretty lazy these days in general. Anyone who works in a school knows this. Flame away. But nothing is ever their fault or responsibility, or their kids. This is our education crisis.



Interesting perspective. I think that what the school expects of me as a parent and what the school expected from my parents are completely different. My parents were responsible for getting me on the bus.

As a parent, I'm responsible for homework, charging chrome books, spirit days, snacks, other dress up days, and a never-ending parade of extras. I do it and I support the teachers 100% but, seriously, my parents just had to get me on the bus.

Shouldn't your child be doing these things?

Sure, my 7 year old boy remembers these things 100% on his own.

Not.

Oh, you poor martyr victim, having to raise your own child.

The horror.

No. The point is that it's not the 70's when parents had to teach their kids to tie their shoes and wash their hands. We do that too, of course, but also 50 million other things. My mom remarks that we have so much more to handle with our kids than they did when I was young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in k in 1978 and I remember the board that had laces to tie, zippers and something else. We did that all the time during our 1/2 day kindergarten class. Oh, we also practiced using scissors. Having three kids of my own now, school was so much better then.

I would much rather a teacher teach my kid to read than to tie his shoes. Why not have them teach ass wiping? Or fingernail clipping? Or how to blow his nose? Teachers have kids of their own to teach that stuff to so do your job.

Some could argue these multi step sequential learning skills are more beneficial than memorizing sight words in kindergarten, it’s a different approach and it’s not a bad one. In the US, we certainly aren’t producing excellent results in the reading proficiency area with our current curriculums.

I would completely agree with this. I think many kids will be ready to read by around 7 or so, and that the time before that is better spent learning social skills, spatial skills, being part of a community, and having a wide variety of experiences so that when they start reading — at varying ages — they recognize quite a lot of what they’re reading about as mirroring their lived personal experiences. Ideally, ECE classrooms would also be set up to encourage imaginative play and exploration. Such classrooms could, indeed, include life skills of many kinds, including learning to tie shoes.

That’s not what the K and even Pre-K classes that I’ve observed in the last 20 years or so look like, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5yo can't tie his shoes and I couldn't care less. He has been in school in person the whole time. Neither school nor we have taught him this particular skill yet, and I fail to see why that matters. He can do lots of other things and we'll get to this one when it becomes relevant.

It doesn’t matter — as long as the shoes that he wears to school don’t need to be tied. I’m not a teacher, but like many teachers, I’ve tied a lot of shoes and taught many kids how to do this for themselves. The issue is sending kids to school with shoes that need to be tied, with the expectation that teachers will tie them for the kids who don’t know how, or will somehow find time in their crammed schedules to teach individual students life skills that are typically learned and practiced at home.

As the ECE curriculum has become more academic, the expectation is that students will have mastered age appropriate life skills and readiness skills so that the classroom focus can be on academic skills.

You have to buy them tie shoes to learn with. At some point they will ask for them when they realize velcro is for 5 year olds and they are 8,

There’s a really good chance that someone in the kid’s household or social sphere has shoes — or some other object — with laces, so you don’t “HAVE to buy them tie shoes to learn with” unless you choose to do so. I’m not clear what your next point is. Yes, you can wait for a kid to ask for shoes with laces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents are pretty lazy these days in general. Anyone who works in a school knows this. Flame away. But nothing is ever their fault or responsibility, or their kids. This is our education crisis.

Interesting perspective. I think that what the school expects of me as a parent and what the school expected from my parents are completely different. My parents were responsible for getting me on the bus.

As a parent, I'm responsible for homework, charging chrome books, spirit days, snacks, other dress up days, and a never-ending parade of extras. I do it and I support the teachers 100% but, seriously, my parents just had to get me on the bus.

Agree with the first PP. The spirit days, class parties and snacks, dress ups etc. are optional and what wealthy schools districts do to make bored SAHMs feel involved. Kids don’t need these and you don’t have to participate. Send your kid in regular clothes on “crazy clothes” day. No one cares, truly.

But schools now are expected to provide all the necessities that really and truly are a parents responsibility: clothes, food, medical and psychological care, more.

The problem is that MY KID cares about the school spirit days and all the extras. I can't tell you the amount of drama we went through on pajama day because 7 yo declared her pajamas looked too "babyish" to wear to school, and her fleece ones were too hot for the weather, etc. And I told her, fine, wear clothes then, and then she has a gd meltdown at bedtime, and then there's more drama over it in the morning. And spirit week means 5 days of this.

The biggest burden on my time that my mother did not have, besides my full time job, is having to keep my kids entertained. In the 80s we were sent outside. Now I have to personally arrange playdates and supervise kids in my home, I have to play with my own kids, set up crafts, etc. This is a lot more work. My mom basically had free time most of the day, and my dad had free time any time he wasn't at work. Me? I have zero free time. I'm stealing this 5 min break while waiting in a line at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents are pretty lazy these days in general. Anyone who works in a school knows this. Flame away. But nothing is ever their fault or responsibility, or their kids. This is our education crisis.

Interesting perspective. I think that what the school expects of me as a parent and what the school expected from my parents are completely different. My parents were responsible for getting me on the bus.

As a parent, I'm responsible for homework, charging chrome books, spirit days, snacks, other dress up days, and a never-ending parade of extras. I do it and I support the teachers 100% but, seriously, my parents just had to get me on the bus.

Agree with the first PP. The spirit days, class parties and snacks, dress ups etc. are optional and what wealthy schools districts do to make bored SAHMs feel involved. Kids don’t need these and you don’t have to participate. Send your kid in regular clothes on “crazy clothes” day. No one cares, truly.

But schools now are expected to provide all the necessities that really and truly are a parents responsibility: clothes, food, medical and psychological care, more.

The problem is that MY KID cares about the school spirit days and all the extras. I can't tell you the amount of drama we went through on pajama day because 7 yo declared her pajamas looked too "babyish" to wear to school, and her fleece ones were too hot for the weather, etc. And I told her, fine, wear clothes then, and then she has a gd meltdown at bedtime, and then there's more drama over it in the morning. And spirit week means 5 days of this.

The biggest burden on my time that my mother did not have, besides my full time job, is having to keep my kids entertained. In the 80s we were sent outside. Now I have to personally arrange playdates and supervise kids in my home, I have to play with my own kids, set up crafts, etc. This is a lot more work. My mom basically had free time most of the day, and my dad had free time any time he wasn't at work. Me? I have zero free time. I'm stealing this 5 min break while waiting in a line at work.

Ok, good points. I hear you and agree. This is problem in wealthy school districts and “gated community” neighborhoods though.

Move into a higher FARMS district and a neighborhood that is actually a neighborhood (no HOA, etc.) and kids all go out and play with each other semi free range like you used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents are pretty lazy these days in general. Anyone who works in a school knows this. Flame away. But nothing is ever their fault or responsibility, or their kids. This is our education crisis.

Interesting perspective. I think that what the school expects of me as a parent and what the school expected from my parents are completely different. My parents were responsible for getting me on the bus.

As a parent, I'm responsible for homework, charging chrome books, spirit days, snacks, other dress up days, and a never-ending parade of extras. I do it and I support the teachers 100% but, seriously, my parents just had to get me on the bus.

Agree with the first PP. The spirit days, class parties and snacks, dress ups etc. are optional and what wealthy schools districts do to make bored SAHMs feel involved. Kids don’t need these and you don’t have to participate. Send your kid in regular clothes on “crazy clothes” day. No one cares, truly.

But schools now are expected to provide all the necessities that really and truly are a parents responsibility: clothes, food, medical and psychological care, more.

The problem is that MY KID cares about the school spirit days and all the extras. I can't tell you the amount of drama we went through on pajama day because 7 yo declared her pajamas looked too "babyish" to wear to school, and her fleece ones were too hot for the weather, etc. And I told her, fine, wear clothes then, and then she has a gd meltdown at bedtime, and then there's more drama over it in the morning. And spirit week means 5 days of this.

The biggest burden on my time that my mother did not have, besides my full time job, is having to keep my kids entertained. In the 80s we were sent outside. Now I have to personally arrange playdates and supervise kids in my home, I have to play with my own kids, set up crafts, etc. This is a lot more work. My mom basically had free time most of the day, and my dad had free time any time he wasn't at work. Me? I have zero free time. I'm stealing this 5 min break while waiting in a line at work.

Ok, good points. I hear you and agree. This is problem in wealthy school districts and “gated community” neighborhoods though.

Move into a higher FARMS district and a neighborhood that is actually a neighborhood (no HOA, etc.) and kids all go out and play with each other semi free range like you used to.

This is not the case at my Title 1 school. The only kids I see playing outside are the ones without wifi and phones. There aren't too many of them. Tablets at the most popular gift for my students at Christmas. Not bikes or skateboards or soccer balls. The reason so many poor children are overweight is a combination of cheap, fattening food and lack of exercise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents are pretty lazy these days in general. Anyone who works in a school knows this. Flame away. But nothing is ever their fault or responsibility, or their kids. This is our education crisis.

Interesting perspective. I think that what the school expects of me as a parent and what the school expected from my parents are completely different. My parents were responsible for getting me on the bus.

As a parent, I'm responsible for homework, charging chrome books, spirit days, snacks, other dress up days, and a never-ending parade of extras. I do it and I support the teachers 100% but, seriously, my parents just had to get me on the bus.

Agree with the first PP. The spirit days, class parties and snacks, dress ups etc. are optional and what wealthy schools districts do to make bored SAHMs feel involved. Kids don’t need these and you don’t have to participate. Send your kid in regular clothes on “crazy clothes” day. No one cares, truly.

But schools now are expected to provide all the necessities that really and truly are a parents responsibility: clothes, food, medical and psychological care, more.

The problem is that MY KID cares about the school spirit days and all the extras. I can't tell you the amount of drama we went through on pajama day because 7 yo declared her pajamas looked too "babyish" to wear to school, and her fleece ones were too hot for the weather, etc. And I told her, fine, wear clothes then, and then she has a gd meltdown at bedtime, and then there's more drama over it in the morning. And spirit week means 5 days of this.

The biggest burden on my time that my mother did not have, besides my full time job, is having to keep my kids entertained. In the 80s we were sent outside. Now I have to personally arrange playdates and supervise kids in my home, I have to play with my own kids, set up crafts, etc. This is a lot more work. My mom basically had free time most of the day, and my dad had free time any time he wasn't at work. Me? I have zero free time. I'm stealing this 5 min break while waiting in a line at work.

You don’t have to do any of those things. You choose to. We didn’t do play dates until the kids could be largely unsupervised and I certainly don’t set up crafts. If your kids can’t entertain themselves it’s because you never allowed them to be bored and figure it out. That’s on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you care about children, you just do the hard work. Fewer and fewer adults really care anymore about children.

The original post and your post are such click bait bullsh*t.

Get the f out.

You know who can't tie their shoes? Kids with motor issues. You know they exist and asshats like you suck because you're so pathetic you jump on this crap because it makes you feel like a better parent because it's the one thing you didn't screw up with your kid. Slow clap for you jerk.

Admit it, you love to humiliate these kids and their parents. My kid is on spectrum but so high functioning many people don't realize it. Dc has horrible motor issues and was very premature at birth. We've had teachers humiliate dc because dc can't write either.

F off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I coach soccer. And I will say, the population of 8 year olds who play soccer is huge. But the population of 8 year olds who can tie their own cleats? Not so big. But those who can are the first on the field, ready to play and lead the team.

where is the vomit emoji?

Ableist much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are reasons kids may be delayed in the ability to tie shoes or tell time or ride a bike. They also aren’t necessarily reasons that you can tell by the sight of a child. So maybe parents are working on it but it is a much longer process for some children. Have some kindness for others, you truly don’t know what people have going on in their lives.

No, op is feeling like a terrible parent and needs to strangers today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coach soccer. And I will say, the population of 8 year olds who play soccer is huge. But the population of 8 year olds who can tie their own cleats? Not so big. But those who can are the first on the field, ready to play and lead the team.

Maybe because those kids have superior motor skills?

One of my kids was premature and had motor issues that required pt and ot. Guess who was recruited for d1 college sports. Kid caught up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are reasons kids may be delayed in the ability to tie shoes or tell time or ride a bike. They also aren’t necessarily reasons that you can tell by the sight of a child. So maybe parents are working on it but it is a much longer process for some children. Have some kindness for others, you truly don’t know what people have going on in their lives.

No, op is feeling like a terrible parent and needs to strangers today.

Those parents can buy Velcro shoes in the meantime. Not the school’s job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coach soccer. And I will say, the population of 8 year olds who play soccer is huge. But the population of 8 year olds who can tie their own cleats? Not so big. But those who can are the first on the field, ready to play and lead the team.

where is the vomit emoji?

Ableist much?

You are free to tie your kid’s cleats at home and arrive on time. They too can be first on the field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually bought a Melissa and Doug shoe tying board. None of my kids had shoes that tied.

You’d be shocked at what her peers in kindergarten don’t know. A lot still can’t write their names or speak English. Some kids didn’t know how to hold a book or that we read from left to right. It’s way beyond remedial teaching.

I will say though that my daughter had never been in school before either. We had a nanny and her preK never opened. I think this past fall was the first day of school for the majority of her classmates. No one had been to preschool that I talked to.

This is not my experience but I live in the suburbs. My kid's k teacher told me that what has changed the most is that kids come in to k knowing more than they did in the past. She retired several years ago. She said k used to be about reading readiness and focusing on shapes and colors and play but that parents expect more and kids start k knowing all that. So much bs posted here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here. I know this school, although I don’t teach there. This is a school with a lot of students who are under-achieving and have family stressors. When a teacher takes the time to teach a kid to tie their shoes, they are working on fine-motor skills, and are helping the child develop independence and a sense of mastery. These things matter to a child’s educational progress. Having an adult take a few moments with a child individually is key to that child attaching to the adult and the school, and learning to trust. This can only be a positive thing. I’ve helped so many kids with shoelaces over the years, that I think it should be part of undergraduate teacher training.

I could hug you. Thank you.

mom of kid with developmental delays.