Netflix The Lost Daughter - Spoilers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was up with the 2 injuries to Lena's back? I never got that.

+1
Was it a pinecone that fell on her? I couldn't understand how a pinecone would have hurt her so much, especially through her shirt. Maybe it was one of those spikey conkers? It just seemed like such a small thing that caused such a bad injury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was up with the 2 injuries to Lena's back? I never got that.

+1
Was it a pinecone that fell on her? I couldn't understand how a pinecone would have hurt her so much, especially through her shirt. Maybe it was one of those spikey conkers? It just seemed like such a small thing that caused such a bad injury.

That was weird. I came to the conclusion that the pinecone, and maybe something else, were thrown at her by one of the guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Olivia Coleman us always good but yes, I am struggling with this one a bit. I don’t really think if it as a contemplation on motherhood, but rather on the more specific experience of having children young, before you are quite formed as a person, and how restricting that is for women in particular because of how unequally the burden of raising young kids falls on women. But I struggled to relate to either of the mothers in the film because their behavior felt unconscionably selfish to me, as someone who was in my late 30s by the time I had a child. I simply cannot imagine leaving my children for years to pursue career advancement or an affair. I can’t imagine resenting my children the way these women sometimes do (even as they also obviously live them intensely). Those parts were hard to watch, especially because they made me think of my own mother, who I do think felt that way about being a mom.

It also was hard how the movie obscures the men in order to focus on the women, because it’s confusing. Leda’s husband seems immature and selfish at first, but then he becomes a single father when she runs off. Nina’s husband is one dimensional, as are bothersome women’s affair partners. I think this was a lost opportunity because none of this nuance around feelings around motherhood happens independent of the actions, inactions, or expectations of fathers.

Still worth watching but I felt unsatisfied.

Leda was a straight up mental case sleeping with the doll for days, ignoring her daughters just wanting a kiss on the injured finger, never saying bye when she’d fly off for academic krap.

This was a movie about generational mental disorders. Leads parents, her, and now her self absorbed adult daughters who don’t let her even talk. Take take take.

The Greek American queens or Bronx family looked functional compared to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who do you think The Lost Daughter is?

The missing beach girl day?

I kept waiting for the Lost Daughter thing to rear its head via death or estrangement but that never really happened. Only the doll got lost and the 5 yo in a hat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it implied that she is dying?

I definitely thought she was dying and that the phone call was a dream.

Yeah, she bled out or something, then dreamed up an orange to peel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the book Leda came from a Neapolitan crime family, and worked hard to crawl out from under their influence. So the creepy, potentially criminal Queens family was as if her own family had shown up at the beach. It was extremely triggering for Leda. The film made her British, from a poor but not criminal family, so her reaction to the Queens family made absolutely no sense in that context. It's one of the major shortcomings of the movie. I assume they did it because no one would believe Olivia Coleman as a Neapolitan, but it definitely muddled the story.

I assumed for 80% of the movie when she initially said she teaches at or works in Cambridge she meant England. Only the last five minutes does she say Cambridge by Boston.

I also did not know if this was a beach in Maine or Italy or Greece or what. Once I saw a mini palm tree I ruled out Maine..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great soundtrack

Ehhh, short and repeated a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^In fact, Leda is surprised by Nina's reaction, which tells you how self-absorbed that Leda is.

I thought it was brave —or dumb and naive — of Leda to return the doll then. Like autism bad social cues and timing. It would have taken a saint to not instantly say WTF and notice how unhealthy Leda was and show compassion. The poor child wasn’t sleeping and upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^I’ll add that there is obviously a reason she admitted that she stole the doll versus saying she found it. It could be:

- to get back at them…but I don’t think so

- something is missing with her emotionally where she doesn’t feel bad where most people do. She didn’t feel bad about abandoning her kids. She didn’t feel bad (about herself) that it would mean her kids would be raised partially by her mom. She didn’t feel bad about cheating on her husband. She didn’t feel bad about leaving her husband with the kids. She didn’t feel bad about her kid being sick while she was away. She didn’t feel bad about leaving her kids a day after saying hi to them after time away. She didn’t feel bad about stealing the thunder from her colleague. There’s a part of her that is completely disconnected to the hurt feelings of others, including when she’s at fault for those hurt feelings.

Great analysis! You are right - she seems to have an utter lack of conscience in many ways. I physically ached watching her girls miss her so much and can't even fathom how she could have abandoned them for a day, much less three years. When she thinks back on those days, she gets teary and sad - but I can't tell if it's regret over what she did, or simply the fact that she knows she's missing the empathy chip.

No empathy, chronic self centeredness, and lack of maternal instincts/caring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was up with the 2 injuries to Lena's back? I never got that.

+1
Was it a pinecone that fell on her? I couldn't understand how a pinecone would have hurt her so much, especially through her shirt. Maybe it was one of those spikey conkers? It just seemed like such a small thing that caused such a bad injury.

I've seen a large pine cone leave a dent in the roof of a car - it was a big one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who do you think The Lost Daughter is?

The missing beach girl day?

I kept waiting for the Lost Daughter thing to rear its head via death or estrangement but that never really happened. Only the doll got lost and the 5 yo in a hat.

and both Leda and Nina in their own ways, were "lost"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^In fact, Leda is surprised by Nina's reaction, which tells you how self-absorbed that Leda is.

I thought it was brave —or dumb and naive — of Leda to return the doll then. Like autism bad social cues and timing. It would have taken a saint to not instantly say WTF and notice how unhealthy Leda was and show compassion. The poor child wasn’t sleeping and upset.

I actually felt that was a more plot driven choice than a character choice. For the sake of a dramatic ending.

[Anonymous]

I've thought about this more an it was certainly a very nuanced film.

I definitely felt a lot of sympathy for Coleman's character early on because she was trapped as a mother and couldn't fulfil the professional and really needed to be more than that.

So I sympathize with her needing more but her almost total inability to care about anyone but herself was ... shocking? The fact that she took the doll ... exclusively for herself, not caring that the child cried about it for days, even though she seemed to sympathize with the young mother ... that's so unfeeling.

Sort of fitting in with how she got back in touch with her own children -- she missed THEM, not her worrying over whether they missed her.

It's almost at a level of mental illness, her focus on herself. Which is too bad, because you can certainly be a regretful mom WITHOUT a mental illness and explore the feelings that are wrapped into that.

[Anonymous]

What an utter waste of time that movie was. I kept waiting for something to happen, ANYTHING!

From the odd caretaker, to the aggressive family on the beach, to the pinecone that "fell on her", to that doll that just kept on appearing and disappearing.

Just a weird odd movie.

[Anonymous]

Watched it last night. In addition to all the weirdness already discussed, what in the world was that bizarre interaction with Lyle in the bar? Whispering something in Italian and scampering off? So, so strange.

I think she stole the doll because she still resented her own children for breaking hers (which she actually did to herself by throwing it out the window). She wanted to restore it, as a way to restore her own brokenness.