Netflix The Lost Daughter - Spoilers

[Anonymous]

Hey guys, if you liked this movie, I really think you would also like Mads Mikkelsen's Another Round. It's a man-centric case reflecting on fatherhood and life -- the men choose to do a test where they stay a little drunk all day long to live more on the edge. Really good acting. I've watched the end about 10 times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it implied that she is dying?

I definitely thought she was dying and that the phone call was a dream.

+1 because she didn't have an orange with her (don't recall but easy to backtrack to see if she had her purse with her) and it's a little odd that the daughters were together on the phone as they are adults and I think didn't she say in different places?

A couple of things to comment, don't know where they fit:

Last scene she's on the phone with her daughters, in likely a hallucination while she is dying, and she said earlier that she hated talking on the phone with her daughters. So is it that in her last moments of life, she is finally enjoying talking to her daughters on the phone, or *still* trying to patiently "be a good mom" by doing something she expressly hates doing?

I think it's significant that the young mom stabs her in the uterine area...or the belly-button area (basically the motherhood area)...and also significant she did this while calling her the C word. Also significant she references Leda's own mother as she stabs her, and stabs her with the hat-pin which is given to her by Leda based on Leda's mom's advice.

I think the large family was definitely mob-oriented, as referenced by (young man) when he says, "not good people." Taken in context, that was code for non-law-abiding or dangerous people

Very insightful comment about where Leda was stabbed.

I have to say, although I understand this wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, it’s the kind of movie that I’ve thought about fairly often since watching - reflecting on the way the story was portrayed, the themes of motherhood and wariness, the acting. What more can you ask for from a film than to make you think and reflect?

She stabbed her in the liver - which is more likely to cause a quick death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it implied that she is dying?

I definitely thought she was dying and that the phone call was a dream.

+1 because she didn't have an orange with her (don't recall but easy to backtrack to see if she had her purse with her) and it's a little odd that the daughters were together on the phone as they are adults and I think didn't she say in different places?

A couple of things to comment, don't know where they fit:

Last scene she's on the phone with her daughters, in likely a hallucination while she is dying, and she said earlier that she hated talking on the phone with her daughters. So is it that in her last moments of life, she is finally enjoying talking to her daughters on the phone, or *still* trying to patiently "be a good mom" by doing something she expressly hates doing?

I think it's significant that the young mom stabs her in the uterine area...or the belly-button area (basically the motherhood area)...and also significant she did this while calling her the C word. Also significant she references Leda's own mother as she stabs her, and stabs her with the hat-pin which is given to her by Leda based on Leda's mom's advice.

I think the large family was definitely mob-oriented, as referenced by (young man) when he says, "not good people." Taken in context, that was code for non-law-abiding or dangerous people

Very insightful comment about where Leda was stabbed.

I have to say, although I understand this wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, it’s the kind of movie that I’ve thought about fairly often since watching - reflecting on the way the story was portrayed, the themes of motherhood and wariness, the acting. What more can you ask for from a film than to make you think and reflect?

She stabbed her in the liver - which is more likely to cause a quick death.

But can a little hatpin poke really kill you? Or doesn't look like it can go through the fat and muscle and get to internal organs

[Anonymous]

Just watched this movie. I found it all so….bizarre. It wasn’t a complete waste of time, but I can see how many people would turn it off. Many of the disjointed aspects have already been raised, but a few more:

-what was with the hitchhikers? Was that supposed to show how much Leda enjoyed conversations with other adults? Foretelling that she might leave her own daughters given she asked how the hitchhiker guy’s kids were doing? Was she considering something romantic with the hitchhiker woman? It was so.damn.strange.

-what was with the crazy conversation between Leda and Will when eating dinner together? All the conversation about breasts? Hers, and her daughters. So random and totally off putting to discuss with a young man you barely know! I was thinking, did I miss something in the movie so far to explain why this conversation would happen?

I thought the movie provided aspects of how difficult motherhood is and wanting to keep a sense of self, but the overall movie was so random that I am left reflecting on THAT/unanswered questions rather than the motherhood aspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just watched this movie. I found it all so….bizarre. It wasn’t a complete waste of time, but I can see how many people would turn it off. Many of the disjointed aspects have already been raised, but a few more:

-what was with the hitchhikers? Was that supposed to show how much Leda enjoyed conversations with other adults? Foretelling that she might leave her own daughters given she asked how the hitchhiker guy’s kids were doing? Was she considering something romantic with the hitchhiker woman? It was so.damn.strange.

-what was with the crazy conversation between Leda and Will when eating dinner together? All the conversation about breasts? Hers, and her daughters. So random and totally off putting to discuss with a young man you barely know! I was thinking, did I miss something in the movie so far to explain why this conversation would happen?

I thought the movie provided aspects of how difficult motherhood is and wanting to keep a sense of self, but the overall movie was so random that I am left reflecting on THAT/unanswered questions rather than the motherhood aspect.

I don’t think the series was a statement just about her parenting. It was her parenting, her husband’s, her mother’s, the male hitchhiker’s, Nina’s, etc. it was to show no one had a perfecting parenting picture. I think leda used sex as a release (think of all the masturbation scenes, adultery, talking about sexual things. That’s why she was expressive with the female hitchhiker and talked openly with Will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, Leda tells Nina (she tells somebody, I think it's Nina) that Leda is a selfish person, and I think that is true.

Yes of course it's obvious that she's selfish as she hangs onto the doll while watching--and creating the conditions for--Nina's suffering. I guess so she can watch and relive her own parental suffering, and in her mind connect with Nina. She likes watching the girl cling to Nina or whine, and Nina suffers and turns and looks at Leda--they bond over that look of "this is hell" or "I'm suffocating"

But, what I want to say here is, it's also so selfish of Leda to TELL Nina that she hung on to the doll, just to play with. Why not just let Nina continue assuming that Leda found the doll, and let Nina experience some joy and relief? Leda cuts off Nina's joy/relief with the truth.

I think it's because Leda wanted to use that moment to explain herself, or show her true self, to Nina, who she identifies with. To connect with Nina.

But Leda is so wrapped up in herself that she doesn't even see the obvious, which is how this news will affect Nina. Leda is so self-absorbed and selfish that she tells Nina the truth about Leda's stealing of the doll.

This is such a great analysis/explanation.

I also think Leda selfishly wanted the doll for herself, to fix up, because of the one she had that her kids ruined. She cleans it up and fixes it up, selfishly, for herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey guys, if you liked this movie, I really think you would also like Mads Mikkelsen's Another Round. It's a man-centric case reflecting on fatherhood and life -- the men choose to do a test where they stay a little drunk all day long to live more on the edge. Really good acting. I've watched the end about 10 times.

It's worth a watch, but that was another one that was kind of a head scratcher for me. Partly, because much like this movie, it wasn't billed as what it actually is - I thought it was about addiction.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps this is a simplistic view, but I think Leda stole the doll because she was pissed and she wanted revenge. Her perfect, idyllic vacation was now ruined by this loud, obnoxious family who dared to ask her to move. She thought she’d have the beach to herself…but nope! Instead, she was called nasty names by these people who wouldn’t stop sneering at her. Even when they offered her some cake, it was so passive-aggressive. And the fact that Leda is selfish by nature (an “unnatural mother”) we shouldn’t be surprised that she would try to get back at the family even if it meant pain and suffering for the child. That’s my two cents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps this is a simplistic view, but I think Leda stole the doll because she was pissed and she wanted revenge. Her perfect, idyllic vacation was now ruined by this loud, obnoxious family who dared to ask her to move. She thought she’d have the beach to herself…but nope! Instead, she was called nasty names by these people who wouldn’t stop sneering at her. Even when they offered her some cake, it was so passive-aggressive. And the fact that Leda is selfish by nature (an “unnatural mother”) we shouldn’t be surprised that she would try to get back at the family even if it meant pain and suffering for the child. That’s my two cents.

If this was true, why would she sleep with the doll? She could steal it, hide it and be done with it. She even threw it would and then dug it out of the trash. If it was to enact revenge, those two scenes don’t make sense (getting doll from the trash and sleeping with it).

[Anonymous]

^^I’ll add that there is obviously a reason she admitted that she stole the doll versus saying she found it. It could be:

- to get back at them…but I don’t think so

- something is missing with her emotionally where she doesn’t feel bad where most people do. She didn’t feel bad about abandoning her kids. She didn’t feel bad (about herself) that it would mean her kids would be raised partially by her mom. She didn’t feel bad about cheating on her husband. She didn’t feel bad about leaving her husband with the kids. She didn’t feel bad about her kid being sick while she was away. She didn’t feel bad about leaving her kids a day after saying hi to them after time away. She didn’t feel bad about stealing the thunder from her colleague. There’s a part of her that is completely disconnected to the hurt feelings of others, including when she’s at fault for those hurt feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^I’ll add that there is obviously a reason she admitted that she stole the doll versus saying she found it. It could be:

- to get back at them…but I don’t think so

- something is missing with her emotionally where she doesn’t feel bad where most people do. She didn’t feel bad about abandoning her kids. She didn’t feel bad (about herself) that it would mean her kids would be raised partially by her mom. She didn’t feel bad about cheating on her husband. She didn’t feel bad about leaving her husband with the kids. She didn’t feel bad about her kid being sick while she was away. She didn’t feel bad about leaving her kids a day after saying hi to them after time away. She didn’t feel bad about stealing the thunder from her colleague. There’s a part of her that is completely disconnected to the hurt feelings of others, including when she’s at fault for those hurt feelings.

That's a really good observation. I agree. It's not that she enjoys inflicting pain on others, but she either doesn't notice it at all when she does (like, is she on the spectrum) or notices but isn't bothered about it.

And I thought the point of the traveling hitchhikers was that before they came, she was trapped at home in the life of a stay at home mom. But they were parents -- or he was, anyway -- and didn't have any problem doing what they wanted and leaving the kids at home without them. I guess watching what a man did (or didn't do) with his children sort of showed her that it was also possible for her to just leave like that, also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey guys, if you liked this movie, I really think you would also like Mads Mikkelsen's Another Round. It's a man-centric case reflecting on fatherhood and life -- the men choose to do a test where they stay a little drunk all day long to live more on the edge. Really good acting. I've watched the end about 10 times.

It's worth a watch, but that was another one that was kind of a head scratcher for me. Partly, because much like this movie, it wasn't billed as what it actually is - I thought it was about addiction.

The weirdness is part of why I recommended it. It's not all tied up in a bow with one message at the end, but more of a thinker about what it is to be human, what responsibilities do we have towards one another and ourselves and to children. I thought it was lovely and very much enjoyed the ending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Olivia Coleman us always good but yes, I am struggling with this one a bit. I don’t really think if it as a contemplation on motherhood, but rather on the more specific experience of having children young, before you are quite formed as a person, and how restricting that is for women in particular because of how unequally the burden of raising young kids falls on women. But I struggled to relate to either of the mothers in the film because their behavior felt unconscionably selfish to me, as someone who was in my late 30s by the time I had a child. I simply cannot imagine leaving my children for years to pursue career advancement or an affair. I can’t imagine resenting my children the way these women sometimes do (even as they also obviously live them intensely). Those parts were hard to watch, especially because they made me think of my own mother, who I do think felt that way about being a mom.

It also was hard how the movie obscures the men in order to focus on the women, because it’s confusing. Leda’s husband seems immature and selfish at first, but then he becomes a single father when she runs off. Nina’s husband is one dimensional, as are bothersome women’s affair partners. I think this was a lost opportunity because none of this nuance around feelings around motherhood happens independent of the actions, inactions, or expectations of fathers.

Still worth watching but I felt unsatisfied.

Besides nursing, there is nothing to suggest that women should be the primary caretakers of young children. I don't see why men don't take the same kind of burden.

[Anonymous]

What was up with the 2 injuries to Lena's back? I never got that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^I’ll add that there is obviously a reason she admitted that she stole the doll versus saying she found it. It could be:

- to get back at them…but I don’t think so

- something is missing with her emotionally where she doesn’t feel bad where most people do. She didn’t feel bad about abandoning her kids. She didn’t feel bad (about herself) that it would mean her kids would be raised partially by her mom. She didn’t feel bad about cheating on her husband. She didn’t feel bad about leaving her husband with the kids. She didn’t feel bad about her kid being sick while she was away. She didn’t feel bad about leaving her kids a day after saying hi to them after time away. She didn’t feel bad about stealing the thunder from her colleague. There’s a part of her that is completely disconnected to the hurt feelings of others, including when she’s at fault for those hurt feelings.

Great analysis! You are right - she seems to have an utter lack of conscience in many ways. I physically ached watching her girls miss her so much and can't even fathom how she could have abandoned them for a day, much less three years. When she thinks back on those days, she gets teary and sad - but I can't tell if it's regret over what she did, or simply the fact that she knows she's missing the empathy chip.