Is it normal to have baby in room after delivery now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Self back-patter here (apparently).

Look, I'm not saying you can't have help. I'm not saying you should swallow all of your needs and wants forever. I just think those first few hours are important. At least, they are to me. And what struck me about the OP's OP is that she seems to have reached the foregone conclusion that she will not want the baby in her room with her. Honestly, can you all accept, without mocking me, that I truly just don't understand that?

And by the way, I do work, albeit part time and from home. I'm not saying that the mother can NEVER be away from her child. I'm just saying I think those first few hours are important. I think the baby is in your womb for 9 months and then comes out and the world is an overwhelming and scary place. And baby cries, then hears your voice, smells your scent, breastfeeds, whatever, and is comforted. Yeah, I think that there is nothing more important than that, unless some rather exceptional circumstances apply that make separation unavoidable. You're making a huge leap (and putting words into my mouth) by saying that by making this argument I'm telling moms to never work, never leave their children or never take a moments break. I just don't think the first few hours after your child's Big Earth Debut is really the time to take that break. Sorry if somehow that sounds self-congratulatory.

OP here-- while my question was as intended (are no nurseries the norm today?) my phrasing was tongue in cheek. Didn't realize there was such a need to elaborately justify.

Anyway, here you go Judgy Mom:

Instead of saying I recall the three days in hospital was "the most amazing time to sleep and recover", should I have SPELLED OUT that it provided adequate time to have the anaesthesia wear off my freshly cut open body. And as a young, poor single mom that chance to rest when baby was sleeping in nursery was basically my only rest in the ensuing year? Oh, except that EVEN WITH the bits of sleep/recovery I got while baby was sleeping in nursery, I did get to go back to hospital and 'blissfully rest' in the ER a week later when I developed a drug-resistant abscess that actually punched through my breast and drained heavy fluids--the same milk coming from my nipples flowing from a hole in my breast. Nice, huh? You know J M, I wasn't much use 'bonding' with my little baby that extra week in hospital. It also put the kibbosh on breast-feeding (somehow I suspect you have strong feelings about breast-feeding...) Perhaps more rest in the first place would have been the answer?

My ORIGINAL post was about a great hospital where I potentially will deliver, but where I have been told (verifying Monday) that a nursery is NOT AN OPTION AT ALL FOR THE FIRST DAYS NOT HOURS. I'm sorry, but can you read?

Yes, based on past experience this is SCARY AS HELL for me and not a route I want to go down. Based on previous experience I know that even with support pregnancy and birth are a crazy ride and I want to cover ALL BASES. I'm sorry if it sounds to you like I want my baby 'whisked away'. I want the option of support so we can all get respite and get home healthy for what comes next. BTW- I am also thinking of my husband. I LOVE your assumption that this is just about me. Is that based on you being the only one allowed to get close to baby in your relationship? My husband would break his back for us, and knowing now that he will be in an unforgiving grad program, and knowing how exhausting new parenthood is (he does not), and knowing I will have a c-section and my past complications, and knowing that we have an older child- I am trying to line up my ducks in a row for the best situation to support my entire family. More power to you for rejecting the nursery option; why shouldn't I have that same choice--to reject OR USE nursery?

I didn't feel the need to preface with how happy I am to give birth, to meet my baby, etc. Doesn't that go without saying?

I was just posing a simple question to which many people quickly gave informative answers. And then you appeared with your flaming sword of justice and glory. I get your zeal, I'm glad it works for you, I'm sure your love is purer than mine... but seriously lady--when you are on the airplane PLEASE put the mask on yourself first before helping your child. Please. For your child's sake.

[Anonymous]

And to the person who mentioned short a disastrous pregnancy. I HAD a disastrous pregnancy. Have you ever heard the expression "Hope for the best, plan for the worst?". That's all I'm doing. Are you seriously that Pollyanna as to deny me that?
--OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen. All of you who remained awake for the entire 48-72 hour hospital, with the baby in-room - I'm sorry, touching you - the whole time: You win. You are better mothers, you are more invested in your new babies, you are better people. You let me know what that blue ribbon arrives.

You said it! And I totally agree! It's just dandy that some moms have perfect plans for sainted motherhood from day one. I'm a FTM but I can see the OP's point and the whole perspective she was coming from in the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Self back-patter here (apparently).

Look, I'm not saying you can't have help. I'm not saying you should swallow all of your needs and wants forever. I just think those first few hours are important. At least, they are to me. And what struck me about the OP's OP is that she seems to have reached the foregone conclusion that she will not want the baby in her room with her. Honestly, can you all accept, without mocking me, that I truly just don't understand that?

And by the way, I do work, albeit part time and from home. I'm not saying that the mother can NEVER be away from her child. I'm just saying I think those first few hours are important. I think the baby is in your womb for 9 months and then comes out and the world is an overwhelming and scary place. And baby cries, then hears your voice, smells your scent, breastfeeds, whatever, and is comforted. Yeah, I think that there is nothing more important than that, unless some rather exceptional circumstances apply that make separation unavoidable. You're making a huge leap (and putting words into my mouth) by saying that by making this argument I'm telling moms to never work, never leave their children or never take a moments break. I just don't think the first few hours after your child's Big Earth Debut is really the time to take that break. Sorry if somehow that sounds self-congratulatory.

OP here-- while my question was as intended (are no nurseries the norm today?) my phrasing was tongue in cheek. Didn't realize there was such a need to elaborately justify.

Anyway, here you go Judgy Mom:

Instead of saying I recall the three days in hospital was "the most amazing time to sleep and recover", should I have SPELLED OUT that it provided adequate time to have the anaesthesia wear off my freshly cut open body. And as a young, poor single mom that chance to rest when baby was sleeping in nursery was basically my only rest in the ensuing year? Oh, except that EVEN WITH the bits of sleep/recovery I got while baby was sleeping in nursery, I did get to go back to hospital and 'blissfully rest' in the ER a week later when I developed a drug-resistant abscess that actually punched through my breast and drained heavy fluids--the same milk coming from my nipples flowing from a hole in my breast. Nice, huh? You know J M, I wasn't much use 'bonding' with my little baby that extra week in hospital. It also put the kibbosh on breast-feeding (somehow I suspect you have strong feelings about breast-feeding...) Perhaps more rest in the first place would have been the answer?

My ORIGINAL post was about a great hospital where I potentially will deliver, but where I have been told (verifying Monday) that a nursery is NOT AN OPTION AT ALL FOR THE FIRST DAYS NOT HOURS. I'm sorry, but can you read?

Yes, based on past experience this is SCARY AS HELL for me and not a route I want to go down. Based on previous experience I know that even with support pregnancy and birth are a crazy ride and I want to cover ALL BASES. I'm sorry if it sounds to you like I want my baby 'whisked away'. I want the option of support so we can all get respite and get home healthy for what comes next. BTW- I am also thinking of my husband. I LOVE your assumption that this is just about me. Is that based on you being the only one allowed to get close to baby in your relationship? My husband would break his back for us, and knowing now that he will be in an unforgiving grad program, and knowing how exhausting new parenthood is (he does not), and knowing I will have a c-section and my past complications, and knowing that we have an older child- I am trying to line up my ducks in a row for the best situation to support my entire family. More power to you for rejecting the nursery option; why shouldn't I have that same choice--to reject OR USE nursery?

I didn't feel the need to preface with how happy I am to give birth, to meet my baby, etc. Doesn't that go without saying?

I was just posing a simple question to which many people quickly gave informative answers. And then you appeared with your flaming sword of justice and glory. I get your zeal, I'm glad it works for you, I'm sure your love is purer than mine... but seriously lady--when you are on the airplane PLEASE put the mask on yourself first before helping your child. Please. For your child's sake.

I've posted a couple times - totally on your side and you sure don't need to justify your decision to me. But after your whole post, I have to say, this is my takeaway line. Love it.

[Anonymous]

Hee. Thank you. Is now not the time to mention that I plan to use the nursery at the gym? Good luck with your pregnancy-- enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Holy cow, people. Back to your corners already.

Anywho, to the OP's original question...

Yeah, rooming in is the norm at many hospitals now. I delivered at Bethesda naval hospital last year. They don't have a nursery; babies room in. DH slept on the couch/bed in the room, so he was there to help. Nurses came in as needed. Having the baby in the room was nice, but he also wasn't a super crier/too fussy, so I can't say if it would have been nice to have the nursery option.

[Anonymous]

Hi, Bethesda is my choice too. Pros are good doctors good nurses, cons are no nursery. My preference is to catch some winks when the baby catches some winks. I m going to check out Bethesda but look at my private insurance options as well. Overall, did you feel you, baby and family were supported and healthy when you left to go home? I just feel that given that we have private options, it would be silly not to investigate options where the nursery might be the 'edge' on the experience.

[Anonymous]

For 08:40 - I didn't have private options (have Tricare only, so was given the option of either Bethesda or Ft. Belvoir, and was strongly encouraged to choose Bethesda- better facilities, since they handle all of the difficult cases for the entire eastern seaboard). The primary con for me was that my entire pre-natal care was with one of the midwives there, and they're not allowed to deliver. I ended up with a c-section, so moot point in the end. In general, I think you end up being delivered by whoever happens to be on shift that day. It's a teaching hospital, so you will have docs and nurses who are in various stages of learning (and you definitely have situations that may be unusual in the civilian world - one of the guys assisting with my c-section, and one of the medics who came in to weigh the baby each night, had been in Baghdad previously). And with any hospital, some docs/nurses are better than others. There are some very compassionate, helpful L&D/post-partum nurses. If you're planning to nurse, I didn't find the in-house LC to be all that helpful - ended up seeing Pat Shelley at the Breastfeeding Center. And back to the nursery issue - I was able to sleep when the baby did without any problem, so I'm not sure if having a nursery would have made any difference. Overall I felt that we had a very good experience.

[Anonymous]

Baby was with me. I had a c-section. And an incredibly CRAPPY CRAPPY CRAPPY hospital room situation: very small, shared with someone else who also had her baby in the room. No visitors could spend the night (there wasn't any room, anyway). Anyway, it sucked.

I didn't change any diapers -- the hospital staff did all of that. Never saw the muconium, never saw poop or even noticed any pee. I was delerious, sleep deprived, and out of my mind with exhaustion, joy, and exhaustion.

The one night I finally asked to have the baby taken to the nursery so I could sleep just for six straight hours, a nurse came in to say that my baby was losing too much weight, and I should wake up every two hours to feed her.

I cried. I cried harder than my baby has ever cried.

Honestly, I thought I was going to go insane.

Um, I went off on my own story, there... I guess having the option of keeping your baby with you 24/7 can be a mixed plessing.

[Anonymous]

My uncle is an infectious disease specialist at an area hospital and pals with his counterparts at other area hospitals. Here's what he said to me when I was pregnant with baby #1 way back when the "rooming in" concept was first introduced: "insist upon keeping the baby with you." Why? An area hospital's nursery was exposed to chicken pox thanks to an older sibling visitor and the transfer of babies through the nursery. Just walk through the halls of any hospital and you'll notice that many families seem to view the hospital as a fine place to host dozens of visitors immediately following the birth of a baby. The fact of the matter is that small kids are germy, and the last thing you want is to trapse germy kids through the hospital to spread their germs. The last time I was in the hospital after having baby #2 the family next door was literally entertaining dozens of adults and kids nearly 24/7. We kept our baby with us 24/7. My husband stayed with me since I had a c-section and needed his help to care for the baby overnight. I'm pregnant with baby #3 and we will room in exclusively once again.

[Anonymous]

PP - I think the chances of your child getting sick by spending a couple of hours in the nursery to be very slim. I'm sure it happens occassionally, but most nurseries are completely off limits to everybody but nurses/babies (and maybe parents). I also have a hard time understanding how a kid with chicken pox passed that along to other kids in a nursery. It is like your child getting chicken pox while you are pregnant. If you have the immunity, so does your baby.

I had my second overseas and never sent the baby away to the nursery and doubt I'll do so with this baby (pregnancy #3) either, but I think you are unnecessarily scaring parents by making it seem like a nursery is a hotbed for germs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP - I think the chances of your child getting sick by spending a couple of hours in the nursery to be very slim. I'm sure it happens occassionally, but most nurseries are completely off limits to everybody but nurses/babies (and maybe parents). I also have a hard time understanding how a kid with chicken pox passed that along to other kids in a nursery. It is like your child getting chicken pox while you are pregnant. If you have the immunity, so does your baby.

I had my second overseas and never sent the baby away to the nursery and doubt I'll do so with this baby (pregnancy #3) either, but I think you are unnecessarily scaring parents by making it seem like a nursery is a hotbed for germs.

I would also add that the idea of your hospital room as some germ-free environment is very naive. Have you ever seen how quickly they turn those rooms over when they have a full house? If you fret over this 24-7, you are only going to drive yourself crazy.