Mommy wife dynamic

[Anonymous]

So you do nothing proactive for the house and family, need constant reminders to do basic stuff for the kids or yard, leave messes all around, are clueless about the kids' schedule/school/friends/sports, have never taught your kids a thing except an imagination game here and there, and you often need others to fix what you do manage to start.

Created a whole Mommy/Son dynamic in your marriage. You both work FT, same income each.

And then you turn around and want to have sex at night with your Mommy Wife? Is any of this supposed to be attractive to her? What is she supposed to do with you? Just let you tag along year after year after year?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you do nothing proactive for the house and family, need constant reminders to do basic stuff for the kids or yard, leave messes all around, are clueless about the kids' schedule/school/friends/sports, have never taught your kids a thing except an imagination game here and there, and you often need others to fix what you do manage to start.

Created a whole Mommy/Son dynamic in your marriage. You both work FT, same income each.

And then you turn around and want to have sex at night with your Mommy Wife? Is any of this supposed to be attractive to her? What is she supposed to do with you? Just let you tag along year after year after year?

Have you thought about, you know, actually talking to your spouse about this instead of venting on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Take control of your life.

[Anonymous]

Ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you do nothing proactive for the house and family, need constant reminders to do basic stuff for the kids or yard, leave messes all around, are clueless about the kids' schedule/school/friends/sports, have never taught your kids a thing except an imagination game here and there, and you often need others to fix what you do manage to start.

Created a whole Mommy/Son dynamic in your marriage. You both work FT, same income each.

And then you turn around and want to have sex at night with your Mommy Wife? Is any of this supposed to be attractive to her? What is she supposed to do with you? Just let you tag along year after year after year?

I could have written this. Staying because co-parenting would be even worse.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is a partnership where, sometimes, one carries more of a burden than the other. You do it because you love each other and want a happy home. Why did you marry him?

[Anonymous]

I don't have kids yet (married 4.5 years, going to start trying soon), but I worry about this happening with my DH. Since we bought a house he has gotten more invested in doing things proactively and seems to really love being a home owner (phew), but I still have my fears being a lurker of this board. I have been showing him posts like this regularly since we plan to have a kid soon. He always gets defensive but god I hope it seeps in somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have kids yet (married 4.5 years, going to start trying soon), but I worry about this happening with my DH. Since we bought a house he has gotten more invested in doing things proactively and seems to really love being a home owner (phew), but I still have my fears being a lurker of this board. I have been showing him posts like this regularly since we plan to have a kid soon. He always gets defensive but god I hope it seeps in somehow.

You're doing a great job of making him resent you before you even have kids. You go gurrrlll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have kids yet (married 4.5 years, going to start trying soon), but I worry about this happening with my DH. Since we bought a house he has gotten more invested in doing things proactively and seems to really love being a home owner (phew), but I still have my fears being a lurker of this board. I have been showing him posts like this regularly since we plan to have a kid soon. He always gets defensive but god I hope it seeps in somehow.

You're doing a great job of making him resent you before you even have kids. You go gurrrlll!

Ha! Based on these very REGULAR kinds of posts, who do you think is more likely to be resentful and for good reason, women or men? What does my DH and others like him resent exactly? That I give pushback when he expects to be treated like a 12 year old boy?

[Anonymous]

__x__ Do nothing proactive for the house and family. I'm probably mostly guilty of this one. I'm sure I could come up with some pro-active stuff, but I'm generally pretty happy with the status quo and can be pretty reactive. When my wife hasn't planned us to the nth degree, I like spending that time just hanging out.

_____ Need constant reminders to do basic stuff for the kids or yard. Nope. I do all kinds of basic stuff for the kids and the yard without reminders.

_____ Leave messes all around. Hell no. I leave fewer messes than my wife.

_____ Are clueless about the kids' schedule/school/friends/sports. Nope. My wife generally manages their schedule, but I'm pretty tuned into what it is. I coach their sports, so I usually implement those schedules. (Does that count for the "proactive" section?)

_____ Have never taught your kids a thing except an imagination game here and there. Haha, nope. I'm a nerd. You never know when a random conversation is going to turn into a math lesson, history lesson, philosophy lesson, civics lesson, or what have you.

_____ You often need others to fix what you do manage to start. Nope. I'm pretty competent. When I bother to start something, I always finish it. I hate asking for help.

_____ Created a whole Mommy/Son dynamic in your marriage. Nope. (Although, I have seen some porn along thse lines that was kind of hot. But I've never brought that idea up in the bedroom.)

_____ You both work FT, same income each. She works about 3/4 time. I work full time. Income is about 2/3 me to 1/3 her.

_____ And then you turn around and want to have sex at night with your Mommy Wife? I would like to have sex with her, but even though I don't really check those boxes, she's not terribly interested. It's been about 7-8 weeks since the last time.

Do I get a toaster or something for taking the quiz?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

__x__ Do nothing proactive for the house and family. I'm probably mostly guilty of this one. I'm sure I could come up with some pro-active stuff, but I'm generally pretty happy with the status quo and can be pretty reactive. When my wife hasn't planned us to the nth degree, I like spending that time just hanging out.

_____ Need constant reminders to do basic stuff for the kids or yard. Nope. I do all kinds of basic stuff for the kids and the yard without reminders.

_____ Leave messes all around. Hell no. I leave fewer messes than my wife.

_____ Are clueless about the kids' schedule/school/friends/sports. Nope. My wife generally manages their schedule, but I'm pretty tuned into what it is. I coach their sports, so I usually implement those schedules. (Does that count for the "proactive" section?)

_____ Have never taught your kids a thing except an imagination game here and there. Haha, nope. I'm a nerd. You never know when a random conversation is going to turn into a math lesson, history lesson, philosophy lesson, civics lesson, or what have you.

_____ You often need others to fix what you do manage to start. Nope. I'm pretty competent. When I bother to start something, I always finish it. I hate asking for help.

_____ Created a whole Mommy/Son dynamic in your marriage. Nope. (Although, I have seen some porn along thse lines that was kind of hot. But I've never brought that idea up in the bedroom.)

_____ You both work FT, same income each. She works about 3/4 time. I work full time. Income is about 2/3 me to 1/3 her.

_____ And then you turn around and want to have sex at night with your Mommy Wife? I would like to have sex with her, but even though I don't really check those boxes, she's not terribly interested. It's been about 7-8 weeks since the last time.

Do I get a toaster or something for taking the quiz?

No, but I hope you get laid a lot and the pleasure of a happy wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

__x__ Do nothing proactive for the house and family. I'm probably mostly guilty of this one. I'm sure I could come up with some pro-active stuff, but I'm generally pretty happy with the status quo and can be pretty reactive. When my wife hasn't planned us to the nth degree, I like spending that time just hanging out.

_____ Need constant reminders to do basic stuff for the kids or yard. Nope. I do all kinds of basic stuff for the kids and the yard without reminders.

_____ Leave messes all around. Hell no. I leave fewer messes than my wife.

_____ Are clueless about the kids' schedule/school/friends/sports. Nope. My wife generally manages their schedule, but I'm pretty tuned into what it is. I coach their sports, so I usually implement those schedules. (Does that count for the "proactive" section?)

_____ Have never taught your kids a thing except an imagination game here and there. Haha, nope. I'm a nerd. You never know when a random conversation is going to turn into a math lesson, history lesson, philosophy lesson, civics lesson, or what have you.

_____ You often need others to fix what you do manage to start. Nope. I'm pretty competent. When I bother to start something, I always finish it. I hate asking for help.

_____ Created a whole Mommy/Son dynamic in your marriage. Nope. (Although, I have seen some porn along thse lines that was kind of hot. But I've never brought that idea up in the bedroom.)

_____ You both work FT, same income each. She works about 3/4 time. I work full time. Income is about 2/3 me to 1/3 her.

_____ And then you turn around and want to have sex at night with your Mommy Wife? I would like to have sex with her, but even though I don't really check those boxes, she's not terribly interested. It's been about 7-8 weeks since the last time.

Do I get a toaster or something for taking the quiz?

No, but I hope you get laid a lot and the pleasure of a happy wife.

PP again, just read your last sentence. Ugh. Life is unfair. I would give anything for a husband like you and I'm always willing. No that's not a proposition, just saying. Life can be really unfair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[

PP again, just read your last sentence. Ugh. Life is unfair. I would give anything for a husband like you and I'm always willing. No that's not a proposition, just saying. Life can be really unfair.

Well, sure. Life is unfair. (I wonder if it's more unfair than usual where sex is concerned.) But, it's no picnic for my wife either. She got saddled with body-image issues that aren't really her fault and that I don't really know how to help her with. She eats reasonably well & exercises a lot and still struggles with weight in a way that's really gotten into her head. That, on top of the decline of novelty over 20 years, the effects of aging, and a libido that wasn't maybe all that strong to begin with has done a number on our sex life.

We all have our struggles I guess. Good luck with yours & thanks for the brief uptick in my self-esteem from thinking I might (in the abstract anyway) be the kind of guy women would like to have sex with.

[Anonymous]

Marriages work better with a division of responsibilities, when one partner stays home to manage the kids and the family life, and the other is the breadwinner.

Everyone would be happier in the end.