Mommy wife dynamic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriages work better with a division of responsibilities, when one partner stays home to manage the kids and the family life, and the other is the breadwinner.

Everyone would be happier in the end.

I'd never quit a career to stay home and do everything for a clueless, unappreciated, selfish ManChild.

These people should never gotten married OR never had kids. They can't step up and be a real adult, or a real husband, or a real father.

[Anonymous]

appreciative (obviously)

nothing is better than doing stuff for a Do Nothing who takes everything for granted.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm the only one who is clueless to what OP is talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'd never quit a career to stay home and do everything for a clueless, unappreciative, selfish ManChild.

Similarly, I'd never leave home to work for a clueless, unappreciative, selfish boss-child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm the only one who is clueless to what OP is talking about?

OP thinks her husband basically does nothing to help with the household or the kids and, instead, depends on her for everything. Despite this, her husband wants to have sex with her. She believes her lack of attraction to him has to do with his failure to accept an appropriate level of responsibility as a husband and a father. So, she resents him as a life partner and, in particular, very much does not want to have sex with him.

That's my take anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriages work better with a division of responsibilities, when one partner stays home to manage the kids and the family life, and the other is the breadwinner.

Everyone would be happier in the end.

Yeah nothing turns on women like a man sweeping and registering for camp.

Honestly, relationships are screwed unless DH makes a ton of money and leaves home to wife. So DWs make sure your DS get that message and make bank.

[Anonymous]

Sex is enjoyable for both people. I don't know women who don't enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

__x__ Do nothing proactive for the house and family. I'm probably mostly guilty of this one. I'm sure I could come up with some pro-active stuff, but I'm generally pretty happy with the status quo and can be pretty reactive. When my wife hasn't planned us to the nth degree, I like spending that time just hanging out.

_____ Need constant reminders to do basic stuff for the kids or yard. Nope. I do all kinds of basic stuff for the kids and the yard without reminders.

_____ Leave messes all around. Hell no. I leave fewer messes than my wife.

_____ Are clueless about the kids' schedule/school/friends/sports. Nope. My wife generally manages their schedule, but I'm pretty tuned into what it is. I coach their sports, so I usually implement those schedules. (Does that count for the "proactive" section?)

_____ Have never taught your kids a thing except an imagination game here and there. Haha, nope. I'm a nerd. You never know when a random conversation is going to turn into a math lesson, history lesson, philosophy lesson, civics lesson, or what have you.

_____ You often need others to fix what you do manage to start. Nope. I'm pretty competent. When I bother to start something, I always finish it. I hate asking for help.

_____ Created a whole Mommy/Son dynamic in your marriage. Nope. (Although, I have seen some porn along thse lines that was kind of hot. But I've never brought that idea up in the bedroom.)

_____ You both work FT, same income each. She works about 3/4 time. I work full time. Income is about 2/3 me to 1/3 her.

_____ And then you turn around and want to have sex at night with your Mommy Wife? I would like to have sex with her, but even though I don't really check those boxes, she's not terribly interested. It's been about 7-8 weeks since the last time.

Do I get a toaster or something for taking the quiz?

Hey, you CREATED the quiz. I'll even give you a handshake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriages work better with a division of responsibilities, when one partner stays home to manage the kids and the family life, and the other is the breadwinner.

Everyone would be happier in the end.

Yeah nothing turns on women like a man sweeping and registering for camp.

Honestly, relationships are screwed unless DH makes a ton of money and leaves home to wife. So DWs make sure your DS get that message and make bank.

Or - what a crazy idea - BOTH partners could contribute to the household and to the raising of their children! Is that really so rare or weird? Maybe not 50/50, but to a degree where it's not one person taking care of everything while the other one coasts. In my home, I do most of the child rearing and cooking, but my husband takes care of the house, including laundry, cleaning, maintenance... Sometimes we struggle with the division of labor of course, and sometimes things need to shift. But some of the useless lumps on this board defending their right to "mommy-wife" and trying to blame the wife... I can't even imagine, I'd be in a state of perpetual rage. I'm so sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex is enjoyable for both people. I don't know women who don't enjoy it.

For a woman who is perpetually exhausted, given the choice between sexing the man-child and getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep, sleep will win every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is enjoyable for both people. I don't know women who don't enjoy it.

For a woman who is perpetually exhausted, given the choice between sexing the man-child and getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep, sleep will win every time.

I hear what you're saying, but here is where biology creates a disconnect. Guys like sex enough that most of them, even if exhausted and even if the woman isn't treating them very well, would still skip a half-hour of sleep to have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriages work better with a division of responsibilities, when one partner stays home to manage the kids and the family life, and the other is the breadwinner.

Everyone would be happier in the end.

Yeah nothing turns on women like a man sweeping and registering for camp.

Honestly, relationships are screwed unless DH makes a ton of money and leaves home to wife. So DWs make sure your DS get that message and make bank.

But he has to make bank and still have enough time/energy to give DW lot's of attention and organize lot's of fun things to do as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is enjoyable for both people. I don't know women who don't enjoy it.

For a woman who is perpetually exhausted, given the choice between sexing the man-child and getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep, sleep will win every time.

I hear what you're saying, but here is where biology creates a disconnect. Guys like sex enough that most of them, even if exhausted and even if the woman isn't treating them very well, would still skip a half-hour of sleep to have sex.

True story. Also, if she was having an affair she'd be up for it with her AP, all the time, on even less sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is enjoyable for both people. I don't know women who don't enjoy it.

For a woman who is perpetually exhausted, given the choice between sexing the man-child and getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep, sleep will win every time.

If you’re calling your husband a man-child (or calling your wife a child), grow up enough to divorce in an adult fashion.

[Anonymous]

This could be us, but... I would talk to husband and figure out what he can take one, and then STAY OUT of it. I struggle with this myself (mine is in charge of laundry - I'll pay enough attention so that I have stuff, but he's done some panicked 7AM, kids don't have clean underwear washes. And so now, in theory at least, he has a system to keep on top of it (I take it back over when he's totally swamped at work, but he has to ask me or I won't know).