advice for cancelling a date

[mselmer]

please help! I went to the bar with friends, drank too much alcohol, met a cute guy who also drank too much alcohol, and hit it off. I was comfortable with him because he was there with a male acquaintance of mine from my neighborhood so I assumed "Joe" is a nice, normal guy. That same night, Joe and I went back to my place, and had sex with a condom. Next morning, we agreed to go on a date and he left my house. We texted for the next couple of days. On one text I named a store I was at, think Macy's. He replied that Macy was his last name. I didn't think anything of it at the time. A few days pass and he texts me about going on a date to go for drinks soon. I replied I was interested and then we made plans. The next day I was doing nothing so I Googled him. I was shocked to see that he has had a couple of arrests for heroin possession and larceny over a 10 year period. The two towns he has told me he lived in, the name, and his age all match up so I'm certain it is him! Obviously, I want to cut ties immediately. In my previous texts he talked about how he can't wait to see me again and I texted "me too". How do I break the date and all contact with him?

[Anonymous]

Block, ghost, move on with life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Block, ghost, move on with life

And maybe next time, know what his last name is before the panties drop.

[Anonymous]

Ghost but don’t feel bad about it. I’m sure as a heroin off he’s done his fair share of the same.

[Anonymous]

wow. i don't even go on an first date with someone i met online without finding out his last name and doing a google search.

get tested for stds. call your doctor - i have a vgue idea there is a drug you can take after sex if you may have been exposed to HIV. see if you should take it. heroin is iv drug use - he may have shared needles.

i might not ghost. i might instead text politely and tell him thanks,but you have decided you are not interested or decided instead it would be best if you don't see each other again.

yikes.

[Anonymous]

How dumb to take a guy home you’ve never met. He knows where you live and hopefully you don’t have kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to slut shame you here. You used a condom. 90% you're ok health-wise. Keep on top of yourself, but you used protection.

Just ghost this dude and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow. i don't even go on an first date with someone i met online without finding out his last name and doing a google search.

get tested for stds. call your doctor - i have a vgue idea there is a drug you can take after sex if you may have been exposed to HIV. see if you should take it. heroin is iv drug use - he may have shared needles.

i might not ghost. i might instead text politely and tell him thanks,but you have decided you are not interested or decided instead it would be best if you don't see each other again.

yikes.

I think you may be thinking of ]Prep.

[Anonymous]

I would kindly text him, letting him know that you have changed your mind about the date.

Tell him you also think it best to no longer communicate & wish him all the best.

Then never communicate w/him again.
Ever.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably be honest - that you did a background check like you usually do and some things came up that you aren't comfortable with so you've decided not to see him again. And I'd tell the acquaintance the same thing.

He should know exactly what you mean and understand. If not, and he keeps trying to contact you, then I would block etc.

If you block without an explanation, he's going to just keep trying to contact you (through your friend if necessary).

[Anonymous]

He might be a recovering addict with some sat days behind him. Regardless, I’d just tell him that you’re going to have to cancel your date, and that you don’t wish to pursue anything further. Wish him all the best. And get tested for all STDs, just to be safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He might be a recovering addict with some sat days behind him. Regardless, I’d just tell him that you’re going to have to cancel your date, and that you don’t wish to pursue anything further. Wish him all the best. And get tested for all STDs, just to be safe.

^^ meant - with some dark days behind him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would kindly text him, letting him know that you have changed your mind about the date.

Tell him you also think it best to no longer communicate & wish him all the best.

Then never communicate w/him again.
Ever.

This. Keep it simple.

[Anonymous]

1) Stop bringing hook ups back to your house.
2) Stop drinking too much.
3) Just tell him you changed your mind, then delete him from your phone.

[Anonymous]

how good was the sex? i mean, is he packing a third leg? if so, you may wish to play with his toy for bit longer....