Catholic-to-Catholic: I'm just so furious at this latest situation with the Catholic Church

[Anonymous]

I do like Pope Francis, but he needs to STEP UP here, and step up NOW.

My Episcopalian DH says that the Catholic Church seems hell-bent on committing suicide. At the time, he was referring to the Confirmation program that our DD is in out here in Los Angeles, which is so poorly run and the timing (high school out here) is so tone deaf with respect to other things going on in their lives (college prep, and developmentally this age is pushing back) that it's damaged her desire to stay in the Church.

Now this BS...and Pope Francis's letter--ugh how about some anger and rage, not just "this is just so terrible, we've abandoned our little ones..." How about some swift accountability here?

I'm going to talk to my DD today about all this. She's already been contemplating becoming Episcopalian, and I'm ok with that, but we have just a few months left on the Confirmation schedule, so I was hoping she could just stick it out. But with this new crap, I just don't know.

I just want to say to Catholic parents who struggle over the issues of raising kids Catholic or not; here is the rub: Your KIDS are going to decide. The Church is so "off"--bad enough no married priests, no women priests, the gay stance, the no birth control stance that most of us ignore, all that....but now THIS. The upside to our local church is the priests, nuns, and parishioners are great, and our elementary school was great....but the combo of a crummy Confirmation program and the situation with the larger world-wide Church is so overpowering that it obliterates the local level goodness.

I was reading (Catholic) Hugh Hewitt's column in the WaPo and he's right.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-con-man-in-the-cardinals-cap/2018/08/22/f7e60518-a57e-11e8-97ce-cc9042272f07_story.html?utm_term=.d8b7c7e8c6fb

Obviously, I know what most non-Catholics and former Catholics think. I'm interested in what Catholics think. If you are Catholic and you think I am off here, I'm interested to hear what you have to say. It would make me feel better. If you are Catholic and agree, I'd like to know that too.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why you think this is new. Where have you been? I'm in my 50s and my freaking grade school scandal is in that report.

[Anonymous]

I know you specifically don't want to hear from former Catholics, but...
my kids and I moved to the Episcopal church two years ago and it's been a wonderful experience. And (as I'm sure your DH told you) Episcopalians also do confirmation. If your daughter is considering switching, and you're OK with that anyway, I'd think moving to the Episcopal church *before* confirmation would be a better option, and then she'll have the opportunity to learn and grow through the Episcopalian confirmation process which will hopefully be more rewarding and meaningful than the terrible program at your current parish.

Good luck! You sound like a really caring and thoughtful mom.

[Anonymous]

I am so confused by your post. You write as though there are two equally distressing things, widespread sex abuse of children, and the fact that your parish scheduled confirmation at an inconvenient time. Do you really think those things are equally distressing?

[Anonymous]

The Church has had scandals since the middle ages. It some ways, it shows the human/weak/temptation side of its leaders -not condoning the scandals though.

On a side note, it seems like theres a trend among 65+ yr old men to have all these accusations/guilty of unwanted and nonconsensual sex/assualt/touching....what happened to the Harvey Weinsteins, bill Cosbys, Ray Moores, and some of these priests that they felt compelled to do this?
Was it acceptable "back then"?

[Anonymous]

Op- I completely agree. I also live in LA. It’s maddening, sickening and I don’t see the rage within the Catholic Church. They are just trying to save themselves.

[Anonymous]

Today’s very timely lectionary reading from the Old Testament:

“The word of the Lord came to me:
Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel,
in these words prophesy to them to the shepherds:
Thus says the Lord GOD: Woe to the shepherds of Israel
who have been pasturing themselves!
Should not shepherds, rather, pasture sheep?
You have fed off their milk, worn their wool,
and slaughtered the fatlings,
but the sheep you have not pastured.
You did not strengthen the weak nor heal the sick
nor bind up the injured.
You did not bring back the strayed nor seek the lost,
but you lorded it over them harshly and brutally.
So they were scattered for the lack of a shepherd,
and became food for all the wild beasts.
My sheep were scattered
and wandered over all the mountains and high hills;
my sheep were scattered over the whole earth,
with no one to look after them or to search for them.

Therefore, shepherds, hear the word of the LORD:
As I live, says the Lord GOD,
because my sheep have been given over to pillage,
and because my sheep have become food for every wild beast,
for lack of a shepherd;
because my shepherds did not look after my sheep,
but pastured themselves and did not pasture my sheep;
because of this, shepherds, hear the word of the LORD:
Thus says the Lord GOD:
I swear I am coming against these shepherds.
I will claim my sheep from them
and put a stop to their shepherding my sheep
so that they may no longer pasture themselves.
I will save my sheep,
that they may no longer be food for their mouths.

For thus says the Lord GOD:
I myself will look after and tend my sheep.”

~Ezequiel 34:1-11

[Anonymous]

If you don't see rage within the Catholic Church then you didn't go to church last Sunday.

Which is most likely because you aren't Catholic. Nor is OP because if the timing of the Confirmation class almost made her leave the church......well I am surprised they made it all the way to Confirmation age!

[Anonymous]

I think Wuerl should be excommunicated and sent back to the US to face criminal conspiracy to abuse children charges.

I think every priest who abused should be tried and convicted of rape and excommunicated.

I think the CatholicC hurch should lead an effort to remove statute of limitations laws for child abuse cases.

I think the US should investigate many more archdiocese.

I think the Pope should come out with a stronger statement and a plan to rid the church of sbudive priests by handing them over to police.

None of this changes my relationship with God.

[Anonymous]

I see a lot of things happening from the laity in response. A Catholic university in PA is taking the names of three bishops off their buildings, for example. My mom is part of a group of elderly women fasting to call for more answers.

I know there are people on DCUM who believe anyCatholic not leaving the Church doesn’t care about pedophilia. That’s simply not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you specifically don't want to hear from former Catholics, but...
my kids and I moved to the Episcopal church two years ago and it's been a wonderful experience. And (as I'm sure your DH told you) Episcopalians also do confirmation. If your daughter is considering switching, and you're OK with that anyway, I'd think moving to the Episcopal church *before* confirmation would be a better option, and then she'll have the opportunity to learn and grow through the Episcopalian confirmation process which will hopefully be more rewarding and meaningful than the terrible program at your current parish.

Good luck! You sound like a really caring and thoughtful mom.

Huge +1. I'm another former catholic (born and raised) who switched over to the episcopal church and my experience has been wonderful. There are a lot of similarities but some key differences, and most of them are positive. I would highly recommend being open to checking it out.

[Anonymous]

OP here; first, thank you 16:16 and 17:44. Maybe I'll check out the E church in the next town. And thank the other PPs who are discussing this with me.

16:14, No, of course this is not new to me. I'm in my 50s also, and we started our kids off in an Episcopalian school because of my DH, and because of the Catholic priest scandal that was going on at the time.

In our area, (for non-religious reasons), the Episcopalian school was not a fit, and the Catholic was a fit, so we ended up moving over to the Catholic school. It was excellent and the church's priests are as well. Our kids are now in a secular high school.

17:03, yes, I am a Catholic. I suspect you don't have a teen DC in Confirmation class or you would totally understand that this is a situation of straws and the camel's back. It's just a piling up of negativity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of things happening from the laity in response. A Catholic university in PA is taking the names of three bishops off their buildings, for example. My mom is part of a group of elderly women fasting to call for more answers.

I know there are people on DCUM who believe anyCatholic not leaving the Church doesn’t care about pedophilia. That’s simply not true.

What do these things do to actually create swift and necessary change in the CC? Again? How many reports are going to come out, and how many more times is this going to happen before real reform is instituted? Words and prayers don't cut it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of things happening from the laity in response. A Catholic university in PA is taking the names of three bishops off their buildings, for example. My mom is part of a group of elderly women fasting to call for more answers.

I know there are people on DCUM who believe anyCatholic not leaving the Church doesn’t care about pedophilia. That’s simply not true.

What do these things do to actually create swift and necessary change in the CC? Again? How many reports are going to come out, and how many more times is this going to happen before real reform is instituted? Words and prayers don't cut it anymore.

I think taking the bishops names are Important just like removing silent Sam.

While I think big changes are important so are small ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of things happening from the laity in response. A Catholic university in PA is taking the names of three bishops off their buildings, for example. My mom is part of a group of elderly women fasting to call for more answers.

I know there are people on DCUM who believe anyCatholic not leaving the Church doesn’t care about pedophilia. That’s simply not true.

What do these things do to actually create swift and necessary change in the CC? Again? How many reports are going to come out, and how many more times is this going to happen before real reform is instituted? Words and prayers don't cut it anymore.

I think taking the bishops names are Important just like removing silent Sam.

While I think big changes are important so are small ones.

The problem is that there are only small changes happening if any at all.