Is this today’s dating pattern?

[Anonymous]

I am a newly single mid 40s guy who has not dated in two decades. I recently have been using some of the dating apps, and I’ve noticed a pattern. First, a short date over dinner or drinks. Second date usually leads to getting busy. These women are 35 to 50 generally. I assume the first date is to make sure you look like your pictures and you don’t come across as an ask murderer. Then it’s on.

I am in no way complaining, but I am just looking for comments from those who might know Whether this is the new normal? Obviously, while this has been my experience I do not expect it to be this way with every woman I date.

[Anonymous]

My wife and I separated for a while and I was floored how quickly women I dated were ready to have sex right away. Twice on a first date. I still remember the first time I went on a date after a dozen years of marriage, we had dinner, a drink and as we were leaving, she said "do I need to spell out what we are doing next?"

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think this is common.

-32 yo divorcee

[Anonymous]

This doesn’t describe me at all, but again I’m from a different culture. This emphasizes for me the need to get tested for STDs before having sex.

[Anonymous]

It's even more blatant with the 50's women. When I was newly single at 56 after 25 years of marriage I was stunned by the first or second date attitude. I really thought I would be the one working real hard to finally get some affection but I was so wrong. After a few months I was so happy to meet a woman who I had to really woo!

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t work that way for me, but I’m a woman who wasnt sleeping with anyone on a second date.

[Anonymous]

42 year old single woman here. I definitely don't. I wait. I make sure we really like each other and have agreed to exclusivity and get std testing. Second or third date is first kiss territory for me.

[Anonymous]

True for everyone I've met in their late 20s and early 30s. I am a woman. But apps are mostly for hookups and not for people who want a ltr and marriage. Most men are not looking to get married which is fine with me.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 41 year old divorced woman, and I think I'm going to have a rude awakening when I jump back into dating. I'm used to getting busy after an exclusive monogamous relationship so after 3-4 months of about once a week or every other week dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's even more blatant with the 50's women. When I was newly single at 56 after 25 years of marriage I was stunned by the first or second date attitude. I really thought I would be the one working real hard to finally get some affection but I was so wrong. After a few months I was so happy to meet a woman who I had to really woo!

Women in their 50s are not looking for the father of their children or marriage. BTDT. So why waste time? They probably wanted to see if you needed help, Viagra, and how well you performed before getting serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 41 year old divorced woman, and I think I'm going to have a rude awakening when I jump back into dating. I'm used to getting busy after an exclusive monogamous relationship so after 3-4 months of about once a week or every other week dates.

There's a lid for every pot. Definitely you will find men who want to wait, there is even a thread on guy who doesn't want to have sex with his girl because too early

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's even more blatant with the 50's women. When I was newly single at 56 after 25 years of marriage I was stunned by the first or second date attitude. I really thought I would be the one working real hard to finally get some affection but I was so wrong. After a few months I was so happy to meet a woman who I had to really woo!

Women in their 50s are not looking for the father of their children or marriage. BTDT. So why waste time? They probably wanted to see if you needed help, Viagra, and how well you performed before getting serious.

And likewise aren't worried about getting pregnant like they were in their early 20s. But also...it does kind of make me wonder why they aren't more careful about STDs. Scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's even more blatant with the 50's women. When I was newly single at 56 after 25 years of marriage I was stunned by the first or second date attitude. I really thought I would be the one working real hard to finally get some affection but I was so wrong. After a few months I was so happy to meet a woman who I had to really woo!

Women in their 50s are not looking for the father of their children or marriage. BTDT. So why waste time? They probably wanted to see if you needed help, Viagra, and how well you performed before getting serious.

And likewise aren't worried about getting pregnant like they were in their early 20s. But also...it does kind of make me wonder why they aren't more careful about STDs. Scary.

Didn't they make you wear protection? Surprising.

[Anonymous]

I’m 45 and it would be a rare beast of a man who would tempt me to have sex on the first, second or third date. It hasn’t happened yet. Maybe I’m too cautious, a prude or extremely health conscious, but that wouldn’t be happening for me. Date four has a decent chance of seeing action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 41 year old divorced woman, and I think I'm going to have a rude awakening when I jump back into dating. I'm used to getting busy after an exclusive monogamous relationship so after 3-4 months of about once a week or every other week dates.

There's a lid for every pot. Definitely you will find men who want to wait, there is even a thread on guy who doesn't want to have sex with his girl because too early

Don't rush yourself. Plenty of women don't want to have sex right away and if a guy really likes you, he will wait.