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I think I have finally figured out what has been happening with my relationship over the last 4 years. He is committed to me, he has no intention of leaving me, he wants to get married. There is no romance, no passion. His family ADORES me. He has said this to me repeatedly. He says that I am a "goddess" to them. I really think that he wants to be with me and marry me because he finally found someone that his family approves of. His family is very over bearing. I am used to it by now. He has made "off the cuff" comments about finally finding the right girl for his family. He is 37. I'm 31.
I feel like we are best friends, but there is no romance coming from him. I love him dearly. I get butterflies when we kiss, when he smiles, when we hold hands. Now, he is not a warm and fuzzy person in general. He does things for me that he knows I like (making a special dinner usually). He only says he loves me after I say it to him, he is not a hand holder but will hold my hand when I take his. He doesn't cuddle at all. If I cuddle up to him he will cuddle back for a few minutes. He never initiates intimacy, I do. Half of the time he turns me down (always a different reason). If this a case of "he's just not that into you" or am I overthinking this? |
| Does it bother you that he turns you down? |
| Even if you take out the strange family dynamic (overbearing, you're a goddess, finally found the right girl for his family), it sounds like you're much more into him than he is into you. Some people would be comfortable with that, but I would not. Getting turned down for sex 50% of the time would not be something I'd settle for. |
| Sounds like he's gay. |
| He turns you down??? That's the clue! |
| I think if you married him, eventually he would wind up divorcing you. So personally, I would not bother marrying him. I would break up and find someone who loves me as much as or more than I love them. |
He is quite religious and does not believe in divorce. Literally not one person in his family is divorced. |
What? Why do you think that?? |
Sometimes |
Are any of them openly LGBTQ? |
Why would he stay with me for 4 years and start talking marriage, moving in together and kids? |
Not that I am aware of. So, not open if they are! |
Because he turns you down for sex. |
Because he can't come out to his religious family. Sorry OP. I would walk away. You are still young. |
When someone turns down sex that makes them gay? Here we go classic DCUM |