Is it ok to hide the guest list on evite?

[Anonymous]

DD has a summer birthday and I doubt many will come. I would rather other parents not witness the poor response. Is it ok to hide the list from others?

[Anonymous]

Why don't you just have her party in the fall, or in June before school lets out? That way she can have a fun party with most of her friends.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's fine. Think of it this way--if you sent paper invitations, no one would know how others responded, right? Same thing.

[Anonymous]

This kind of bugs me. If people I'm closest to are going, I'll make more of an effort to go.

[Anonymous]

It rubs me the wrong way that you're embarrassed about a lot of people being out of town and thus unable to come to your daughter's party.

[Anonymous]

It's fine to set the list so it's not "public." I've seen it done that way on probably half of the Evites I've gotten. No one will think anything of it.

But, that aside.... Are you worried that if some parents see a low turnout, they too will decide not to say yes--? That sounds like overthinking to me. If you're that concerned about turnout, consider seeing which few closest friends are available on a certain date (get the "yes" from parents before you tell DC) and do something smaller but special, like taking your DC and one to three best buddies for whatever DC would just love (old enough for laser tag? Spy Museum in DC? Or if younger, take them to a water park--? What's DC's "thing"?)

I'm guessing you've already planned the party and DC is expecting it so you feel you have to proceed and are worried everyone's gone or busy. Reasonable concern in summer. If no invitation has gone out yet--can you reset this and make it a special outing with very few kids rather than a party big enough for Evites?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kind of bugs me. If people I'm closest to are going, I'll make more of an effort to go.

Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I find it rude for someone to base their attendance at a kid's birthday party on the rest of the guest list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of bugs me. If people I'm closest to are going, I'll make more of an effort to go.

Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I find it rude for someone to base their attendance at a kid's birthday party on the rest of the guest list.

My kids are young (3 & 1) and get invited to about 10-15 birthday parties each every year. They don't have "best friends" at those ages, so I absolutely look at the guest list to see who else will be there.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine but annoying because parents can’t carpool. It’s awkward to ask each other if they received the invite and everyone ends up driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of bugs me. If people I'm closest to are going, I'll make more of an effort to go.

Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I find it rude for someone to base their attendance at a kid's birthday party on the rest of the guest list.

I agree with you. The PP is making it all about herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of bugs me. If people I'm closest to are going, I'll make more of an effort to go.

Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I find it rude for someone to base their attendance at a kid's birthday party on the rest of the guest list.

I actually do exactly the opposite as PP. (I think PP is being kind of a mean girl by only going to a kids' birthday party if her friends are going.) If I see that a party is not well attended, I'll make an extra effort to go. We had a party for a kid that my child didn't know particularly well, and I saw that there were not a lot of kids that had RSVPed yes. (I think there was a big sports tournament that day or something like that.) It was a little inconvenient for us, but I worked out schedule so we could go. I turned out that basically no one showed up for the party, so I was really glad we had gone. The boys are now pretty good friends.
The guest list also helps with coordinating car pools, which allows some kids to go if their parents might have a conflict.
For those reasons, I like it when the guest list is shown. I don't think anyone will judge you for a poor attendance given the time of year. (Anyone that judged you for a poor attendance at any time of year is sort of a jerk.)

[Anonymous]

It helps to see the guest list if you have to coordinate a ride for the kids. DS's bestie has 3 siblings - I often offer to the mom to give him a ride if she's juggling the other kids schedules. I won't reach out if I don't know for sure he's been invited. I'm a little annoyed if it's hidden, to be honest about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of bugs me. If people I'm closest to are going, I'll make more of an effort to go.

Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I find it rude for someone to base their attendance at a kid's birthday party on the rest of the guest list.

I actually do exactly the opposite as PP. (I think PP is being kind of a mean girl by only going to a kids' birthday party if her friends are going.) If I see that a party is not well attended, I'll make an extra effort to go. We had a party for a kid that my child didn't know particularly well, and I saw that there were not a lot of kids that had RSVPed yes. (I think there was a big sports tournament that day or something like that.) It was a little inconvenient for us, but I worked out schedule so we could go. I turned out that basically no one showed up for the party, so I was really glad we had gone. The boys are now pretty good friends.
The guest list also helps with coordinating car pools, which allows some kids to go if their parents might have a conflict.
For those reasons, I like it when the guest list is shown. I don't think anyone will judge you for a poor attendance given the time of year. (Anyone that judged you for a poor attendance at any time of year is sort of a jerk.)

I do the same. If it's inconvenient to go and I would otherwise say "no," but then notice that a lot of people are RSVPing "no," I make sure DC gets there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of bugs me. If people I'm closest to are going, I'll make more of an effort to go.

Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I find it rude for someone to base their attendance at a kid's birthday party on the rest of the guest list.

I actually do exactly the opposite as PP. (I think PP is being kind of a mean girl by only going to a kids' birthday party if her friends are going.) If I see that a party is not well attended, I'll make an extra effort to go. We had a party for a kid that my child didn't know particularly well, and I saw that there were not a lot of kids that had RSVPed yes. (I think there was a big sports tournament that day or something like that.) It was a little inconvenient for us, but I worked out schedule so we could go. I turned out that basically no one showed up for the party, so I was really glad we had gone. The boys are now pretty good friends.
The guest list also helps with coordinating car pools, which allows some kids to go if their parents might have a conflict.
For those reasons, I like it when the guest list is shown. I don't think anyone will judge you for a poor attendance given the time of year. (Anyone that judged you for a poor attendance at any time of year is sort of a jerk.)

I do the same. If it's inconvenient to go and I would otherwise say "no," but then notice that a lot of people are RSVPing "no," I make sure DC gets there.

you two seem very nice.. maybe we should invite you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of bugs me. If people I'm closest to are going, I'll make more of an effort to go.

Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I find it rude for someone to base their attendance at a kid's birthday party on the rest of the guest list.

I actually do exactly the opposite as PP. (I think PP is being kind of a mean girl by only going to a kids' birthday party if her friends are going.) If I see that a party is not well attended, I'll make an extra effort to go. We had a party for a kid that my child didn't know particularly well, and I saw that there were not a lot of kids that had RSVPed yes. (I think there was a big sports tournament that day or something like that.) It was a little inconvenient for us, but I worked out schedule so we could go. I turned out that basically no one showed up for the party, so I was really glad we had gone. The boys are now pretty good friends.
The guest list also helps with coordinating car pools, which allows some kids to go if their parents might have a conflict.
For those reasons, I like it when the guest list is shown. I don't think anyone will judge you for a poor attendance given the time of year. (Anyone that judged you for a poor attendance at any time of year is sort of a jerk.)

I do the same. If it's inconvenient to go and I would otherwise say "no," but then notice that a lot of people are RSVPing "no," I make sure DC gets there.

+3