Ex-AP in contact again

[Anonymous]

DH had a brief EA about 1.5 years ago with a woman from out of state. It lasted about 6 weeks. I found out and he broke it off. We went to counseling to address our issues and things have been going fairly well. Last Thursday, he told me that he received a LinkedIn message from OW. She has been blocked on our phones, on FB and Instagram and he took her off his connections list on LinkedIn, but apparently forgot to block her there as well. She sent him an email telling him that she misses their conversations and that she is thinking about calling him soon. He told me about it and forwarded me the message. When he broke the EA off, he wrote her a message telling her that it is over and not to contact him again. Should I contact her husband? I initially did not contact her husband because I thought that this is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH had a brief EA about 1.5 years ago with a woman from out of state. It lasted about 6 weeks. I found out and he broke it off. We went to counseling to address our issues and things have been going fairly well. Last Thursday, he told me that he received a LinkedIn message from OW. She has been blocked on our phones, on FB and Instagram and he took her off his connections list on LinkedIn, but apparently forgot to block her there as well. She sent him an email telling him that she misses their conversations and that she is thinking about calling him soon. He told me about it and forwarded me the message. When he broke the EA off, he wrote her a message telling her that it is over and not to contact him again. Should I contact her husband? I initially did not contact her husband because I thought that this is over.

Stop spending time thinking about this op. It's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Why should I not think about this when the OW continues to reach out to my DH?

[Anonymous]

To his credit it was good that he told you.

I would message her making sure she clearly knows the next step will be contacting her husband no matter what it takes if she doesn't stop. You will also seek a restraining order against her. Your lawyer merely has to draw up a letter threatening legal action if she doesn't leave your family alone. Send it by certified letter to her home if she continues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To his credit it was good that he told you.

I would message her making sure she clearly knows the next step will be contacting her husband no matter what it takes if she doesn't stop. You will also seek a restraining order against her. Your lawyer merely has to draw up a letter threatening legal action if she doesn't leave your family alone. Send it by certified letter to her home if she continues.

If OP is the one to contact the other woman, the OW will only take that as a sign that evil OP is trying to keep them apart and get in the way of a true soul connection or whatever new agey BS this woman is telling herself. DH should be the one to respond with this message while letting OW know that he has shared her letter with OP.

[Anonymous]

I already made the mistake of contacting her. I wrote two sentences and I told her that DH shared the LinkedIn message with me and I told her to stop sending further messages. Her husband is a commanding investigator at a Police Department of a large Midwestern City. I have his contact info, but haven't shared anything with him yet. What if he comes after my family.? DH told me that OW said that her husband has a bad temper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To his credit it was good that he told you.

I would message her making sure she clearly knows the next step will be contacting her husband no matter what it takes if she doesn't stop. You will also seek a restraining order against her. Your lawyer merely has to draw up a letter threatening legal action if she doesn't leave your family alone. Send it by certified letter to her home if she continues.

If OP is the one to contact the other woman, the OW will only take that as a sign that evil OP is trying to keep them apart and get in the way of a true soul connection or whatever new agey BS this woman is telling herself. DH should be the one to respond with this message while letting OW know that he has shared her letter with OP.

True. He can try that first, but she sounds unhinged especially since he's already blocked her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I already made the mistake of contacting her. I wrote two sentences and I told her that DH shared the LinkedIn message with me and I told her to stop sending further messages. Her husband is a commanding investigator at a Police Department of a large Midwestern City. I have his contact info, but haven't shared anything with him yet. What if he comes after my family.? DH told me that OW said that her husband has a bad temper.

Just block her on LinkedIn and forget about it. Way too much drama over a 6 wk long emotional affair that happened 1.5 yrs ago.

[Anonymous]

What is that you are trying achieve by contacting hubby? Are you seeking info on whether they are full/soft swap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I already made the mistake of contacting her. I wrote two sentences and I told her that DH shared the LinkedIn message with me and I told her to stop sending further messages. Her husband is a commanding investigator at a Police Department of a large Midwestern City. I have his contact info, but haven't shared anything with him yet. What if he comes after my family.? DH told me that OW said that her husband has a bad temper.

I don't think it's a mistake. Wait and see if she keeps bothering you both. If any further stalking from her then you could play the contact husband card. I would think she wouldn't want that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I already made the mistake of contacting her. I wrote two sentences and I told her that DH shared the LinkedIn message with me and I told her to stop sending further messages. Her husband is a commanding investigator at a Police Department of a large Midwestern City. I have his contact info, but haven't shared anything with him yet. What if he comes after my family.? DH told me that OW said that her husband has a bad temper.

Just block her on LinkedIn and forget about it. Way too much drama over a 6 wk long emotional affair that happened 1.5 yrs ago.

They had sex and bet it was much longer. Yes block her and go from there.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you should contact her husband. I think that you and your husband should continue the no-contact policy. Do not respond to the message. Do not contact her husband. If she contacts him by phone as she said she would do, he should not answer the call and should block her number.

As far as your marriage is concerned, this IS over. Your husband broke off the relationship. He blocked her almost everywhere. I personally never remember LinkedIn and would not even think of it if I needed to block someone. I am still connected to a lot of people on LinkedIn that I never communicate with. Your DH told you about it and shared the message. Do not open this door again. Just live your life.

[Anonymous]

One would think the blocking would be enough OP.

Let us know if that is successful. She must be a truly unhappy pathetic person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I already made the mistake of contacting her. I wrote two sentences and I told her that DH shared the LinkedIn message with me and I told her to stop sending further messages. Her husband is a commanding investigator at a Police Department of a large Midwestern City. I have his contact info, but haven't shared anything with him yet. What if he comes after my family.? DH told me that OW said that her husband has a bad temper.

Just block her on LinkedIn and forget about it. Way too much drama over a 6 wk long emotional affair that happened 1.5 yrs ago.

+1. Why did you respond at all? DH should have blocked her and moved on. Now you’ve fueled the fire.

[Anonymous]

Thank you! I will leave it alone for now. He has now blocked her on LinkedIn. She cannot contact him on his cell, but she could contact him at work without me ever knowing. She was very obsessive and persistent when this was going on about a year and a half ago.