Ex-AP in contact again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you! I will leave it alone for now. He has now blocked her on LinkedIn. She cannot contact him on his cell, but she could contact him at work without me ever knowing. She was very obsessive and persistent when this was going on about a year and a half ago.

You did the right thing. Hopefully this will be the end of it. I think your husband will let you know if she contacts him at work. Unless she wants her life blown up I don't foresee her having the nerve to get a hold of him at work. Then you would have to take things further.

[Anonymous]

OP that was the right move to let her know your DH is sharing info. That should stop her for good. Ignore the drama queens who advise contacting her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should I not think about this when the OW continues to reach out to my DH?

Don't listen to APs on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should I not think about this when the OW continues to reach out to my DH?

Don't listen to APs on this board.

Yes! Of course she should contact her husband, but only if it continues. And if she won't stop after fair warning!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I already made the mistake of contacting her. I wrote two sentences and I told her that DH shared the LinkedIn message with me and I told her to stop sending further messages. Her husband is a commanding investigator at a Police Department of a large Midwestern City. I have his contact info, but haven't shared anything with him yet. What if he comes after my family.? DH told me that OW said that her husband has a bad temper.

Just block her on LinkedIn and forget about it. Way too much drama over a 6 wk long emotional affair that happened 1.5 yrs ago.

They had sex and bet it was much longer. Yes block her and go from there.

+1 That’s for sure. DH handled this right by telling OP right away, but don’t kid yourself to think that this was simply an EA. You can tell, by the language of the OP, that the OP is all about minimizing what happened “a six week EA - we went to counseling and it’s behind us!”. Uh, huh. Usually EAs develop slowly and overtime, so there is not necessarily a hard beginning (pun intended) to them.

They had sex and the affair was for much longer. Women don’t become unhinged like this over a few late night conversations over the course of six weeks. Who are these women that buy this “emotional affair” stuff when their husband gets caught? There’s no telling the stuff the OPs husband told his AP about the OP. It was probably terrible, which is why the AP is risking her own husband’s wrath for a shot at the “true love” she thinks she found in the OPs DH. Also, that’s exactly why DH should have been the one to give the exAP the restraining order / go to hell message. ExAP will use this as further confirmation that OP is as terrible as her DH always said.

[Anonymous]

That is my plan. But then again, this will only work if my DH is completely honest. They only way for her to contact him now is through his work email and phone.

[Anonymous]

How sure are you that it was only a six-week EA?

[Anonymous]

Contact her husband about a 6-week "emotional affair"?
Your husband shut her attempt to reconnect down, there is nothing else to do here.

[Anonymous]

100% sure. I saw the messages. She planned on visiting and he kept giving excuses. DH also has performance issues. It was all fantasy talk. He also was not truthful about himself to her. The talking and chatting made him feel good. It was an escape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% sure. I saw the messages. She planned on visiting and he kept giving excuses. DH also has performance issues. It was all fantasy talk. He also was not truthful about himself to her. The talking and chatting made him feel good. It was an escape.

Any other excuses you can make for your husband? lol

[Anonymous]

Why would she want to see him again if it were only messages. She would be satisfied with the messages again.

Wake up, OP.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anyone else mentioned it, but LinkedIn can mine your contacts (no matter how old) and send requests. I think it comes under: 'See who else you may know', option. Not saying this happened, but if it was the only contact then it is possible.

It happened to me, not this scenario, but I do have a connection with someone that I had never intended to contact again...

[Anonymous]

PP: "See who else you may know" is quite different from "I miss our conversations and I will call you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% sure. I saw the messages. She planned on visiting and he kept giving excuses. DH also has performance issues. It was all fantasy talk. He also was not truthful about himself to her. The talking and chatting made him feel good. It was an escape.

OP! Not to add to your to your angst; I just want you to be aware, if warranted. EA and performance issues; check your DH's computer history for porn usage. Regretfully, I speak from experience with my DH.

On a positive note, whatever went on between the two of them, your DH clearly wants to be with you. He didn't have to tell you about her contacting him but it looks like he's trying to do better.

[Anonymous]

You all are scary. You trivialize affairs. Odd