Ex-AP in contact again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% sure. I saw the messages. She planned on visiting and he kept giving excuses. DH also has performance issues. It was all fantasy talk. He also was not truthful about himself to her. The talking and chatting made him feel good. It was an escape.

Ok that makes it obvious they never met up then. Time to move on OP. Sounds like he is sorry he allowed a nut job into your lives. You would be surprised how many people make that mistake, and regret it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% sure. I saw the messages. She planned on visiting and he kept giving excuses. DH also has performance issues. It was all fantasy talk. He also was not truthful about himself to her. The talking and chatting made him feel good. It was an escape.

Ok that makes it obvious they never met up then. Time to move on OP. Sounds like he is sorry he allowed a nut job into your lives. You would be surprised how many people make that mistake, and regret it.

I understand that things happen and no marriage is ever perfect. I am just concerned about this OW and that she will not leave my family alone. She seems obsessive and very needy and some of the things that my DH told me about her set off red flags. I really do not want to invite drama into my life. I am generally a very quiet and very private person. I do not like confrontation and that is one of the reasons why I have not yet contacted her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% sure. I saw the messages. She planned on visiting and he kept giving excuses. DH also has performance issues. It was all fantasy talk. He also was not truthful about himself to her. The talking and chatting made him feel good. It was an escape.

Ok that makes it obvious they never met up then. Time to move on OP. Sounds like he is sorry he allowed a nut job into your lives. You would be surprised how many people make that mistake, and regret it.

I understand that things happen and no marriage is ever perfect. I am just concerned about this OW and that she will not leave my family alone. She seems obsessive and very needy and some of the things that my DH told me about her set off red flags. I really do not want to invite drama into my life. I am generally a very quiet and very private person. I do not like confrontation and that is one of the reasons why I have not yet contacted her husband.

So letnit go. You’ve blocked her in all venues. What is she going to do? You contacting her husband would DEFINITELY be inviting drama into your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% sure. I saw the messages. She planned on visiting and he kept giving excuses. DH also has performance issues. It was all fantasy talk. He also was not truthful about himself to her. The talking and chatting made him feel good. It was an escape.

Ok that makes it obvious they never met up then. Time to move on OP. Sounds like he is sorry he allowed a nut job into your lives. You would be surprised how many people make that mistake, and regret it.

I understand that things happen and no marriage is ever perfect. I am just concerned about this OW and that she will not leave my family alone. She seems obsessive and very needy and some of the things that my DH told me about her set off red flags. I really do not want to invite drama into my life. I am generally a very quiet and very private person. I do not like confrontation and that is one of the reasons why I have not yet contacted her husband.

If you don't want drama why are you considering telling her cop husband with an anger problem that she was trying to sleep with your husband? Do you think he's going to localize his angry reaction to her or try to get even with the man?
If you don't want drama don't court it. And don't forget you husband invited her in to your family in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% sure. I saw the messages. She planned on visiting and he kept giving excuses. DH also has performance issues. It was all fantasy talk. He also was not truthful about himself to her. The talking and chatting made him feel good. It was an escape.

Ok that makes it obvious they never met up then. Time to move on OP. Sounds like he is sorry he allowed a nut job into your lives. You would be surprised how many people make that mistake, and regret it.

I understand that things happen and no marriage is ever perfect. I am just concerned about this OW and that she will not leave my family alone. She seems obsessive and very needy and some of the things that my DH told me about her set off red flags. I really do not want to invite drama into my life. I am generally a very quiet and very private person. I do not like confrontation and that is one of the reasons why I have not yet contacted her husband.

If you don't want drama why are you considering telling her cop husband with an anger problem that she was trying to sleep with your husband? Do you think he's going to localize his angry reaction to her or try to get even with the man?
If you don't want drama don't court it. And don't forget you husband invited her in to your family in the first place.

+1. All of this, but especially the bolder!

[Anonymous]

Bolded^

[Anonymous]

How did they meet each other?

[Anonymous]

They met online through a mutual interest group. She reached out to him. She is interested in men that work in DH's profession.

[Anonymous]

You seem super controlling and like you micromanage your husband. Why are you telling him how to respond to his ex AP? You either trust him or you don’t. Take a step back. This behavior is how he ended up with an AP to begin with!