Redshirting consequences at Lafayette

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

So, why did you hold back? No, intellectual abilities are partly due to IQ, partly hard work, baring any sn or learning disabilities. Older doesn't make you smarter or more intellectual. It makes you less intellectual as you are not with true peers and with younger peers with lower expectations. When expectations are lowered that's not smarter, that's gaming the system.

One of my kids is very short regardless. At 17 they are still very short. Should I have held them back 3-4 years to hope they'd grow more?

Some of us put a lot of effort into our children’s nutrition, I wonder why you couldn’t do the same, it’s not that hard. When they were young it was like a had another extra job making sure they always had home cooked nutritious meals. They’ve never had junk food or sugary drinks!

Consult with their pediatrician, we were advised three servings of dairy per day, and make sure they eat about 1 gram of protein a day per pound of body weight. That’s a lot of meat, eggs, fish. Don’t even think about restricting food amounts if it’s clean, teenager boys eat a lot! In 6th grade my kid grew from 5’1” to 5’6”, it was crazy to watch.

My kid doesn’t drink juice or any bad drinks and just milk and water. Of course we all cook. Even pack every school lunch. That has nothing to do with height. It is genetics.

Since you put so much effort into food, why didn’t you put the same into academics and extracurricular activities?

Maybe the issue is that the food does not taste good. Do they say they like it, see them eating it, or maybe throwing away secretly? Cook fresh instead of doing a large batch for the week. Only saying it because that’s what I did as a child and the portions were often too small. I was very skinny.

If the child is in the bottom 20 percentile of height, I’d look first at nutrition, especially if it’s a boy. Talk to an endocrinologist, do regular checkups, tell your concerns to the pediatrician. The “genetics” you’re talking about may be human growth hormone deficiency which is treatable.

Last, spend less time on forums biatching about redshirted kids and more on your child who seems to be in a state at terrible neglect.

Oh honey, the food is good and they eat no issue. They eat four meals a day. I don’t cook large batches. You cannot change genetics. I’m not giving my child artificial hormones that can cause other issues later in life. Your projecting. Maybe if you put half as much time into supporting your child’s education they could have gone on time.

Please get informed about this for the sake of your child. Genetics can also mean epigenetics as in the genes are turned on to make needed hormones. The ignorance is breathtaking.

If you’re against artificial hormones, are you also against diabetes treatment, because insulin is an artificial hormone. Against birth control too? Anti vaccine? I’m not surprised though, of course the most rabid anti-redshirters are also anti science and conspiracy theorists.

Those things are nit comparable. I’m ok with my kid being short. They don’t want the hormones, so it’s a no.

Not saying that’s absolutely the case, but if the child is in the bottom 5% of height there may be nutrition issues or an underlying medical condition. At least be open and consult a nutritionist or physician it doesn’t hurt to have another qualified opinion. There’s no shame in that.

It’s not about wanting hormones or not, it may be that the body doesn’t produce them in sufficient quantities. Seriously, we’re not living in the Middle Ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

Some sports have ethical policies that go by age not grade, to prevent this nonsense. I have smart kids, good IQ's and we prepared them academically and support as needed. Maybe if you tried that....

He does great academically even without me putting a lot of effort into it. With my career I wouldn’t have the time anyways. He has always been more independent and mature compared to other kids. Based on grades, AP scores and extracurriculars (captain of the varsity swim team) we’re targeting top schools.

Where does your kid go? If it’s around Boston they might end up close, fingers crossed!

This is a pretty typical profile. The more you post, the more you look silly as no reason to hold back. How do they do swimming outside hs where it is age based? How do they just have hs swim as an extra curricular. That’s only like three months out of the year. Funny how competitive you are. It’s sad you admit you put no effort in and your career comes first. He isn’t more mature or independent. He’s one to two years older so he’s equal or less due to the age gap. I feel bad for kids like yours where parents have all kinds of d of priorities that aren’t their kids being first. You held back for you, not him.

Don’t tell me how to raise my child I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Same with family priorities.

Really don’t get what your beef is or why you feel bad. How was that a “bad” outcome for the child? The kid turned out fine, maybe it would have been fine either way. If anything it is an indication that redshirting is not detrimental. In the end it’s a smart kid, doing great academically and socially that has a bright future ahead. That’s the dream of every parent. Mission accomplished, moving on to the next chapter in life.

You aren’t raising your kid. You are too busy with your career. These kids are not smarter and brighter nor more mature. They are with younger peers so you need to put them with age appropriate peers to compare. They may not survive in college never having to work hard or be challenged.

A total of 14 AP scores of 5 throughout high school would beg to differ. In high school the age matters less, there a lot of mixing between younger and older students especially in AP classes. It doesn’t matter. We didn’t care about classmates birthdays but my estimate is he was younger than the average in AP Calculus, older in AP Spanish.

I’m happy about how I raised my kid and where he ended up, actually I’m quite proud of it. Having a career is in my view a positive model for a child that can see the parent being engaged and a productive member of society. My kid absolutely loved career days.

Not sure which ap calc your kid took but mine took bc as a 15 year old. That’s smart. Your kid may be extremely smart but you held them back.

Same, he was in 9th grade, it worked out fine. So what if they were held back, there no prize on who graduates high school the youngest. Holding back worked for us, I don’t see why you are so aggravated by this. Serious trying hard to understand, but I don’t get it.

I hardly doubt he was in 9th and you are probably making this all up. And, if he was in 9th held back doing bc you are proving there was no reason to hold him back. What school system allowed this? It would be very rare. Your posts get more and more bizzare and are proof on why your kid shou,d not have been held back. So, what math are they in now if they did bc as a freshman? And then there is no way they could do 15 aps there are no ap classes in math after calc bc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

Some sports have ethical policies that go by age not grade, to prevent this nonsense. I have smart kids, good IQ's and we prepared them academically and support as needed. Maybe if you tried that....

He does great academically even without me putting a lot of effort into it. With my career I wouldn’t have the time anyways. He has always been more independent and mature compared to other kids. Based on grades, AP scores and extracurriculars (captain of the varsity swim team) we’re targeting top schools.

Where does your kid go? If it’s around Boston they might end up close, fingers crossed!

This is a pretty typical profile. The more you post, the more you look silly as no reason to hold back. How do they do swimming outside hs where it is age based? How do they just have hs swim as an extra curricular. That’s only like three months out of the year. Funny how competitive you are. It’s sad you admit you put no effort in and your career comes first. He isn’t more mature or independent. He’s one to two years older so he’s equal or less due to the age gap. I feel bad for kids like yours where parents have all kinds of d of priorities that aren’t their kids being first. You held back for you, not him.

Don’t tell me how to raise my child I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Same with family priorities.

Really don’t get what your beef is or why you feel bad. How was that a “bad” outcome for the child? The kid turned out fine, maybe it would have been fine either way. If anything it is an indication that redshirting is not detrimental. In the end it’s a smart kid, doing great academically and socially that has a bright future ahead. That’s the dream of every parent. Mission accomplished, moving on to the next chapter in life.

You aren’t raising your kid. You are too busy with your career. These kids are not smarter and brighter nor more mature. They are with younger peers so you need to put them with age appropriate peers to compare. They may not survive in college never having to work hard or be challenged.

A total of 14 AP scores of 5 throughout high school would beg to differ. In high school the age matters less, there a lot of mixing between younger and older students especially in AP classes. It doesn’t matter. We didn’t care about classmates birthdays but my estimate is he was younger than the average in AP Calculus, older in AP Spanish.

I’m happy about how I raised my kid and where he ended up, actually I’m quite proud of it. Having a career is in my view a positive model for a child that can see the parent being engaged and a productive member of society. My kid absolutely loved career days.

Not sure which ap calc your kid took but mine took bc as a 15 year old. That’s smart. Your kid may be extremely smart but you held them back.

Same, he was in 9th grade, it worked out fine. So what if they were held back, there no prize on who graduates high school the youngest. Holding back worked for us, I don’t see why you are so aggravated by this. Serious trying hard to understand, but I don’t get it.

I hardly doubt he was in 9th and you are probably making this all up. And, if he was in 9th held back doing bc you are proving there was no reason to hold him back. What school system allowed this? It would be very rare. Your posts get more and more bizzare and are proof on why your kid shou,d not have been held back. So, what math are they in now if they did bc as a freshman? And then there is no way they could do 15 aps there are no ap classes in math after calc bc.

You can doubt as much as you like.

AP Statistics in 10th, dual enrollment in 11th, for a total of four semesters of Multivariable Calculus, Linear Algebra, Differential Equations and Discrete Math, basically exhausting the community college math catalogue. The school also allows AP computer science classes to be taken as math, but he took them as electives, easy 5s. He didn’t do 15 APs, I said 14.

As I said the coursework was plenty challenging, basically he could have earned an AA degree while in high school, but chose not to so that the freshman status is not affected. It worked out great for him college wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

Some sports have ethical policies that go by age not grade, to prevent this nonsense. I have smart kids, good IQ's and we prepared them academically and support as needed. Maybe if you tried that....

He does great academically even without me putting a lot of effort into it. With my career I wouldn’t have the time anyways. He has always been more independent and mature compared to other kids. Based on grades, AP scores and extracurriculars (captain of the varsity swim team) we’re targeting top schools.

Where does your kid go? If it’s around Boston they might end up close, fingers crossed!

This is a pretty typical profile. The more you post, the more you look silly as no reason to hold back. How do they do swimming outside hs where it is age based? How do they just have hs swim as an extra curricular. That’s only like three months out of the year. Funny how competitive you are. It’s sad you admit you put no effort in and your career comes first. He isn’t more mature or independent. He’s one to two years older so he’s equal or less due to the age gap. I feel bad for kids like yours where parents have all kinds of d of priorities that aren’t their kids being first. You held back for you, not him.

Don’t tell me how to raise my child I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Same with family priorities.

Really don’t get what your beef is or why you feel bad. How was that a “bad” outcome for the child? The kid turned out fine, maybe it would have been fine either way. If anything it is an indication that redshirting is not detrimental. In the end it’s a smart kid, doing great academically and socially that has a bright future ahead. That’s the dream of every parent. Mission accomplished, moving on to the next chapter in life.

You aren’t raising your kid. You are too busy with your career. These kids are not smarter and brighter nor more mature. They are with younger peers so you need to put them with age appropriate peers to compare. They may not survive in college never having to work hard or be challenged.

What do you have against working parents? At the end of the day the child benefits too in the form of a fully funded college account. He should try his best and I’m ok paying for it if he gets in some of the most selective colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC lottery just sent a real nasty email to parents of kids on the waitlist with birthdays before Sept 30 for Kindergarten pulling them off waitlists for all DCPS schools.

Way more antagonistic than the way they've dealt with this in the past, which was to let the schools handle it individually.

Super aggressive move.

Really feel for families moving to DC from another area, from abroad, from the neighborhoods in Maryland and Virginia right next door....sheesh.

Can you share the email? I assume you mean bdays AFTER Sept 30 not before?

I too would like to see this email (instead of more of whose-kid-is-better-at-math). I assume they mean birthdays before September 30 -- kids who should be in K now but whose parents are trying to enroll them in K for the upcoming year.

[Anonymous]

Would also like to see this email. Didn't get it as a two DCPS kid family (though neither summer kid is trying to be redshirted).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

Some sports have ethical policies that go by age not grade, to prevent this nonsense. I have smart kids, good IQ's and we prepared them academically and support as needed. Maybe if you tried that....

He does great academically even without me putting a lot of effort into it. With my career I wouldn’t have the time anyways. He has always been more independent and mature compared to other kids. Based on grades, AP scores and extracurriculars (captain of the varsity swim team) we’re targeting top schools.

Where does your kid go? If it’s around Boston they might end up close, fingers crossed!

This is a pretty typical profile. The more you post, the more you look silly as no reason to hold back. How do they do swimming outside hs where it is age based? How do they just have hs swim as an extra curricular. That’s only like three months out of the year. Funny how competitive you are. It’s sad you admit you put no effort in and your career comes first. He isn’t more mature or independent. He’s one to two years older so he’s equal or less due to the age gap. I feel bad for kids like yours where parents have all kinds of d of priorities that aren’t their kids being first. You held back for you, not him.

Don’t tell me how to raise my child I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Same with family priorities.

Really don’t get what your beef is or why you feel bad. How was that a “bad” outcome for the child? The kid turned out fine, maybe it would have been fine either way. If anything it is an indication that redshirting is not detrimental. In the end it’s a smart kid, doing great academically and socially that has a bright future ahead. That’s the dream of every parent. Mission accomplished, moving on to the next chapter in life.

You aren’t raising your kid. You are too busy with your career. These kids are not smarter and brighter nor more mature. They are with younger peers so you need to put them with age appropriate peers to compare. They may not survive in college never having to work hard or be challenged.

A total of 14 AP scores of 5 throughout high school would beg to differ. In high school the age matters less, there a lot of mixing between younger and older students especially in AP classes. It doesn’t matter. We didn’t care about classmates birthdays but my estimate is he was younger than the average in AP Calculus, older in AP Spanish.

I’m happy about how I raised my kid and where he ended up, actually I’m quite proud of it. Having a career is in my view a positive model for a child that can see the parent being engaged and a productive member of society. My kid absolutely loved career days.

Not sure which ap calc your kid took but mine took bc as a 15 year old. That’s smart. Your kid may be extremely smart but you held them back.

Same, he was in 9th grade, it worked out fine. So what if they were held back, there no prize on who graduates high school the youngest. Holding back worked for us, I don’t see why you are so aggravated by this. Serious trying hard to understand, but I don’t get it.

I hardly doubt he was in 9th and you are probably making this all up. And, if he was in 9th held back doing bc you are proving there was no reason to hold him back. What school system allowed this? It would be very rare. Your posts get more and more bizzare and are proof on why your kid shou,d not have been held back. So, what math are they in now if they did bc as a freshman? And then there is no way they could do 15 aps there are no ap classes in math after calc bc.

You can doubt as much as you like.

AP Statistics in 10th, dual enrollment in 11th, for a total of four semesters of Multivariable Calculus, Linear Algebra, Differential Equations and Discrete Math, basically exhausting the community college math catalogue. The school also allows AP computer science classes to be taken as math, but he took them as electives, easy 5s. He didn’t do 15 APs, I said 14.

As I said the coursework was plenty challenging, basically he could have earned an AA degree while in high school, but chose not to so that the freshman status is not affected. It worked out great for him college wise.

This is doubtful but all the more reason your holding back argument fails as if this is true there was zero reason to hold him back. Mv is a year class not a semester. Same with others. Good try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

Some sports have ethical policies that go by age not grade, to prevent this nonsense. I have smart kids, good IQ's and we prepared them academically and support as needed. Maybe if you tried that....

He does great academically even without me putting a lot of effort into it. With my career I wouldn’t have the time anyways. He has always been more independent and mature compared to other kids. Based on grades, AP scores and extracurriculars (captain of the varsity swim team) we’re targeting top schools.

Where does your kid go? If it’s around Boston they might end up close, fingers crossed!

This is a pretty typical profile. The more you post, the more you look silly as no reason to hold back. How do they do swimming outside hs where it is age based? How do they just have hs swim as an extra curricular. That’s only like three months out of the year. Funny how competitive you are. It’s sad you admit you put no effort in and your career comes first. He isn’t more mature or independent. He’s one to two years older so he’s equal or less due to the age gap. I feel bad for kids like yours where parents have all kinds of d of priorities that aren’t their kids being first. You held back for you, not him.

Don’t tell me how to raise my child I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Same with family priorities.

Really don’t get what your beef is or why you feel bad. How was that a “bad” outcome for the child? The kid turned out fine, maybe it would have been fine either way. If anything it is an indication that redshirting is not detrimental. In the end it’s a smart kid, doing great academically and socially that has a bright future ahead. That’s the dream of every parent. Mission accomplished, moving on to the next chapter in life.

You aren’t raising your kid. You are too busy with your career. These kids are not smarter and brighter nor more mature. They are with younger peers so you need to put them with age appropriate peers to compare. They may not survive in college never having to work hard or be challenged.

A total of 14 AP scores of 5 throughout high school would beg to differ. In high school the age matters less, there a lot of mixing between younger and older students especially in AP classes. It doesn’t matter. We didn’t care about classmates birthdays but my estimate is he was younger than the average in AP Calculus, older in AP Spanish.

I’m happy about how I raised my kid and where he ended up, actually I’m quite proud of it. Having a career is in my view a positive model for a child that can see the parent being engaged and a productive member of society. My kid absolutely loved career days.

Not sure which ap calc your kid took but mine took bc as a 15 year old. That’s smart. Your kid may be extremely smart but you held them back.

Same, he was in 9th grade, it worked out fine. So what if they were held back, there no prize on who graduates high school the youngest. Holding back worked for us, I don’t see why you are so aggravated by this. Serious trying hard to understand, but I don’t get it.

I hardly doubt he was in 9th and you are probably making this all up. And, if he was in 9th held back doing bc you are proving there was no reason to hold him back. What school system allowed this? It would be very rare. Your posts get more and more bizzare and are proof on why your kid shou,d not have been held back. So, what math are they in now if they did bc as a freshman? And then there is no way they could do 15 aps there are no ap classes in math after calc bc.

You can doubt as much as you like.

AP Statistics in 10th, dual enrollment in 11th, for a total of four semesters of Multivariable Calculus, Linear Algebra, Differential Equations and Discrete Math, basically exhausting the community college math catalogue. The school also allows AP computer science classes to be taken as math, but he took them as electives, easy 5s. He didn’t do 15 APs, I said 14.

As I said the coursework was plenty challenging, basically he could have earned an AA degree while in high school, but chose not to so that the freshman status is not affected. It worked out great for him college wise.

This child should not have been held back and they are lying about the math. And, probably everything else. No school allows computer science as a math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

Some sports have ethical policies that go by age not grade, to prevent this nonsense. I have smart kids, good IQ's and we prepared them academically and support as needed. Maybe if you tried that....

He does great academically even without me putting a lot of effort into it. With my career I wouldn’t have the time anyways. He has always been more independent and mature compared to other kids. Based on grades, AP scores and extracurriculars (captain of the varsity swim team) we’re targeting top schools.

Where does your kid go? If it’s around Boston they might end up close, fingers crossed!

This is a pretty typical profile. The more you post, the more you look silly as no reason to hold back. How do they do swimming outside hs where it is age based? How do they just have hs swim as an extra curricular. That’s only like three months out of the year. Funny how competitive you are. It’s sad you admit you put no effort in and your career comes first. He isn’t more mature or independent. He’s one to two years older so he’s equal or less due to the age gap. I feel bad for kids like yours where parents have all kinds of d of priorities that aren’t their kids being first. You held back for you, not him.

Don’t tell me how to raise my child I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Same with family priorities.

Really don’t get what your beef is or why you feel bad. How was that a “bad” outcome for the child? The kid turned out fine, maybe it would have been fine either way. If anything it is an indication that redshirting is not detrimental. In the end it’s a smart kid, doing great academically and socially that has a bright future ahead. That’s the dream of every parent. Mission accomplished, moving on to the next chapter in life.

You aren’t raising your kid. You are too busy with your career. These kids are not smarter and brighter nor more mature. They are with younger peers so you need to put them with age appropriate peers to compare. They may not survive in college never having to work hard or be challenged.

A total of 14 AP scores of 5 throughout high school would beg to differ. In high school the age matters less, there a lot of mixing between younger and older students especially in AP classes. It doesn’t matter. We didn’t care about classmates birthdays but my estimate is he was younger than the average in AP Calculus, older in AP Spanish.

I’m happy about how I raised my kid and where he ended up, actually I’m quite proud of it. Having a career is in my view a positive model for a child that can see the parent being engaged and a productive member of society. My kid absolutely loved career days.

Not sure which ap calc your kid took but mine took bc as a 15 year old. That’s smart. Your kid may be extremely smart but you held them back.

Same, he was in 9th grade, it worked out fine. So what if they were held back, there no prize on who graduates high school the youngest. Holding back worked for us, I don’t see why you are so aggravated by this. Serious trying hard to understand, but I don’t get it.

I hardly doubt he was in 9th and you are probably making this all up. And, if he was in 9th held back doing bc you are proving there was no reason to hold him back. What school system allowed this? It would be very rare. Your posts get more and more bizzare and are proof on why your kid shou,d not have been held back. So, what math are they in now if they did bc as a freshman? And then there is no way they could do 15 aps there are no ap classes in math after calc bc.

You can doubt as much as you like.

AP Statistics in 10th, dual enrollment in 11th, for a total of four semesters of Multivariable Calculus, Linear Algebra, Differential Equations and Discrete Math, basically exhausting the community college math catalogue. The school also allows AP computer science classes to be taken as math, but he took them as electives, easy 5s. He didn’t do 15 APs, I said 14.

As I said the coursework was plenty challenging, basically he could have earned an AA degree while in high school, but chose not to so that the freshman status is not affected. It worked out great for him college wise.

This child should not have been held back and they are lying about the math. And, probably everything else. No school allows computer science as a math.

DC and few other states allow computer science class to fulfill math requirements in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

Some sports have ethical policies that go by age not grade, to prevent this nonsense. I have smart kids, good IQ's and we prepared them academically and support as needed. Maybe if you tried that....

He does great academically even without me putting a lot of effort into it. With my career I wouldn’t have the time anyways. He has always been more independent and mature compared to other kids. Based on grades, AP scores and extracurriculars (captain of the varsity swim team) we’re targeting top schools.

Where does your kid go? If it’s around Boston they might end up close, fingers crossed!

This is a pretty typical profile. The more you post, the more you look silly as no reason to hold back. How do they do swimming outside hs where it is age based? How do they just have hs swim as an extra curricular. That’s only like three months out of the year. Funny how competitive you are. It’s sad you admit you put no effort in and your career comes first. He isn’t more mature or independent. He’s one to two years older so he’s equal or less due to the age gap. I feel bad for kids like yours where parents have all kinds of d of priorities that aren’t their kids being first. You held back for you, not him.

Don’t tell me how to raise my child I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Same with family priorities.

Really don’t get what your beef is or why you feel bad. How was that a “bad” outcome for the child? The kid turned out fine, maybe it would have been fine either way. If anything it is an indication that redshirting is not detrimental. In the end it’s a smart kid, doing great academically and socially that has a bright future ahead. That’s the dream of every parent. Mission accomplished, moving on to the next chapter in life.

You aren’t raising your kid. You are too busy with your career. These kids are not smarter and brighter nor more mature. They are with younger peers so you need to put them with age appropriate peers to compare. They may not survive in college never having to work hard or be challenged.

A total of 14 AP scores of 5 throughout high school would beg to differ. In high school the age matters less, there a lot of mixing between younger and older students especially in AP classes. It doesn’t matter. We didn’t care about classmates birthdays but my estimate is he was younger than the average in AP Calculus, older in AP Spanish.

I’m happy about how I raised my kid and where he ended up, actually I’m quite proud of it. Having a career is in my view a positive model for a child that can see the parent being engaged and a productive member of society. My kid absolutely loved career days.

Not sure which ap calc your kid took but mine took bc as a 15 year old. That’s smart. Your kid may be extremely smart but you held them back.

Same, he was in 9th grade, it worked out fine. So what if they were held back, there no prize on who graduates high school the youngest. Holding back worked for us, I don’t see why you are so aggravated by this. Serious trying hard to understand, but I don’t get it.

I hardly doubt he was in 9th and you are probably making this all up. And, if he was in 9th held back doing bc you are proving there was no reason to hold him back. What school system allowed this? It would be very rare. Your posts get more and more bizzare and are proof on why your kid shou,d not have been held back. So, what math are they in now if they did bc as a freshman? And then there is no way they could do 15 aps there are no ap classes in math after calc bc.

You can doubt as much as you like.

AP Statistics in 10th, dual enrollment in 11th, for a total of four semesters of Multivariable Calculus, Linear Algebra, Differential Equations and Discrete Math, basically exhausting the community college math catalogue. The school also allows AP computer science classes to be taken as math, but he took them as electives, easy 5s. He didn’t do 15 APs, I said 14.

As I said the coursework was plenty challenging, basically he could have earned an AA degree while in high school, but chose not to so that the freshman status is not affected. It worked out great for him college wise.

This is doubtful but all the more reason your holding back argument fails as if this is true there was zero reason to hold him back. Mv is a year class not a semester. Same with others. Good try.

Not true, these classes are one semester each at any college, it’s easy to verify. Sometimes Multivariable is taught at high schools at a slower pace over one full year.

It’s fine to hold back a kid despite the intellectual abilities for lack of executive function, difficulty in interacting with others and if language development is deficient. Kids have different strengths and weaknesses. There’s no recipe that works for everyone.

The entire state of MD allows computer science as math classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

So, why did you hold back? No, intellectual abilities are partly due to IQ, partly hard work, baring any sn or learning disabilities. Older doesn't make you smarter or more intellectual. It makes you less intellectual as you are not with true peers and with younger peers with lower expectations. When expectations are lowered that's not smarter, that's gaming the system.

One of my kids is very short regardless. At 17 they are still very short. Should I have held them back 3-4 years to hope they'd grow more?

Some of us put a lot of effort into our children’s nutrition, I wonder why you couldn’t do the same, it’s not that hard. When they were young it was like a had another extra job making sure they always had home cooked nutritious meals. They’ve never had junk food or sugary drinks!

Consult with their pediatrician, we were advised three servings of dairy per day, and make sure they eat about 1 gram of protein a day per pound of body weight. That’s a lot of meat, eggs, fish. Don’t even think about restricting food amounts if it’s clean, teenager boys eat a lot! In 6th grade my kid grew from 5’1” to 5’6”, it was crazy to watch.

My kid doesn’t drink juice or any bad drinks and just milk and water. Of course we all cook. Even pack every school lunch. That has nothing to do with height. It is genetics.

Since you put so much effort into food, why didn’t you put the same into academics and extracurricular activities?

Maybe the issue is that the food does not taste good. Do they say they like it, see them eating it, or maybe throwing away secretly? Cook fresh instead of doing a large batch for the week. Only saying it because that’s what I did as a child and the portions were often too small. I was very skinny.

If the child is in the bottom 20 percentile of height, I’d look first at nutrition, especially if it’s a boy. Talk to an endocrinologist, do regular checkups, tell your concerns to the pediatrician. The “genetics” you’re talking about may be human growth hormone deficiency which is treatable.

Last, spend less time on forums biatching about redshirted kids and more on your child who seems to be in a state at terrible neglect.

Oh honey, the food is good and they eat no issue. They eat four meals a day. I don’t cook large batches. You cannot change genetics. I’m not giving my child artificial hormones that can cause other issues later in life. Your projecting. Maybe if you put half as much time into supporting your child’s education they could have gone on time.

Please get informed about this for the sake of your child. Genetics can also mean epigenetics as in the genes are turned on to make needed hormones. The ignorance is breathtaking.

If you’re against artificial hormones, are you also against diabetes treatment, because insulin is an artificial hormone. Against birth control too? Anti vaccine? I’m not surprised though, of course the most rabid anti-redshirters are also anti science and conspiracy theorists.

Those things are nit comparable. I’m ok with my kid being short. They don’t want the hormones, so it’s a no.

Not saying that’s absolutely the case, but if the child is in the bottom 5% of height there may be nutrition issues or an underlying medical condition. At least be open and consult a nutritionist or physician it doesn’t hurt to have another qualified opinion. There’s no shame in that.

It’s not about wanting hormones or not, it may be that the body doesn’t produce them in sufficient quantities. Seriously, we’re not living in the Middle Ages.

Doesn't someone have to be in the 5%? its a spectrum of all kids not a map to where a kid should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

Some sports have ethical policies that go by age not grade, to prevent this nonsense. I have smart kids, good IQ's and we prepared them academically and support as needed. Maybe if you tried that....

He does great academically even without me putting a lot of effort into it. With my career I wouldn’t have the time anyways. He has always been more independent and mature compared to other kids. Based on grades, AP scores and extracurriculars (captain of the varsity swim team) we’re targeting top schools.

Where does your kid go? If it’s around Boston they might end up close, fingers crossed!

This is a pretty typical profile. The more you post, the more you look silly as no reason to hold back. How do they do swimming outside hs where it is age based? How do they just have hs swim as an extra curricular. That’s only like three months out of the year. Funny how competitive you are. It’s sad you admit you put no effort in and your career comes first. He isn’t more mature or independent. He’s one to two years older so he’s equal or less due to the age gap. I feel bad for kids like yours where parents have all kinds of d of priorities that aren’t their kids being first. You held back for you, not him.

Don’t tell me how to raise my child I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Same with family priorities.

Really don’t get what your beef is or why you feel bad. How was that a “bad” outcome for the child? The kid turned out fine, maybe it would have been fine either way. If anything it is an indication that redshirting is not detrimental. In the end it’s a smart kid, doing great academically and socially that has a bright future ahead. That’s the dream of every parent. Mission accomplished, moving on to the next chapter in life.

You aren’t raising your kid. You are too busy with your career. These kids are not smarter and brighter nor more mature. They are with younger peers so you need to put them with age appropriate peers to compare. They may not survive in college never having to work hard or be challenged.

A total of 14 AP scores of 5 throughout high school would beg to differ. In high school the age matters less, there a lot of mixing between younger and older students especially in AP classes. It doesn’t matter. We didn’t care about classmates birthdays but my estimate is he was younger than the average in AP Calculus, older in AP Spanish.

I’m happy about how I raised my kid and where he ended up, actually I’m quite proud of it. Having a career is in my view a positive model for a child that can see the parent being engaged and a productive member of society. My kid absolutely loved career days.

Not sure which ap calc your kid took but mine took bc as a 15 year old. That’s smart. Your kid may be extremely smart but you held them back.

Same, he was in 9th grade, it worked out fine. So what if they were held back, there no prize on who graduates high school the youngest. Holding back worked for us, I don’t see why you are so aggravated by this. Serious trying hard to understand, but I don’t get it.

I hardly doubt he was in 9th and you are probably making this all up. And, if he was in 9th held back doing bc you are proving there was no reason to hold him back. What school system allowed this? It would be very rare. Your posts get more and more bizzare and are proof on why your kid shou,d not have been held back. So, what math are they in now if they did bc as a freshman? And then there is no way they could do 15 aps there are no ap classes in math after calc bc.

You can doubt as much as you like.

AP Statistics in 10th, dual enrollment in 11th, for a total of four semesters of Multivariable Calculus, Linear Algebra, Differential Equations and Discrete Math, basically exhausting the community college math catalogue. The school also allows AP computer science classes to be taken as math, but he took them as electives, easy 5s. He didn’t do 15 APs, I said 14.

As I said the coursework was plenty challenging, basically he could have earned an AA degree while in high school, but chose not to so that the freshman status is not affected. It worked out great for him college wise.

This is doubtful but all the more reason your holding back argument fails as if this is true there was zero reason to hold him back. Mv is a year class not a semester. Same with others. Good try.

Not true, these classes are one semester each at any college, it’s easy to verify. Sometimes Multivariable is taught at high schools at a slower pace over one full year.

It’s fine to hold back a kid despite the intellectual abilities for lack of executive function, difficulty in interacting with others and if language development is deficient. Kids have different strengths and weaknesses. There’s no recipe that works for everyone.

The entire state of MD allows computer science as math classes.

You are lying. MCPS doesn't allow CS as a math class. And, you are proving why kids like yours should never have been held back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

So, why did you hold back? No, intellectual abilities are partly due to IQ, partly hard work, baring any sn or learning disabilities. Older doesn't make you smarter or more intellectual. It makes you less intellectual as you are not with true peers and with younger peers with lower expectations. When expectations are lowered that's not smarter, that's gaming the system.

One of my kids is very short regardless. At 17 they are still very short. Should I have held them back 3-4 years to hope they'd grow more?

Some of us put a lot of effort into our children’s nutrition, I wonder why you couldn’t do the same, it’s not that hard. When they were young it was like a had another extra job making sure they always had home cooked nutritious meals. They’ve never had junk food or sugary drinks!

Consult with their pediatrician, we were advised three servings of dairy per day, and make sure they eat about 1 gram of protein a day per pound of body weight. That’s a lot of meat, eggs, fish. Don’t even think about restricting food amounts if it’s clean, teenager boys eat a lot! In 6th grade my kid grew from 5’1” to 5’6”, it was crazy to watch.

My kid doesn’t drink juice or any bad drinks and just milk and water. Of course we all cook. Even pack every school lunch. That has nothing to do with height. It is genetics.

Since you put so much effort into food, why didn’t you put the same into academics and extracurricular activities?

Maybe the issue is that the food does not taste good. Do they say they like it, see them eating it, or maybe throwing away secretly? Cook fresh instead of doing a large batch for the week. Only saying it because that’s what I did as a child and the portions were often too small. I was very skinny.

If the child is in the bottom 20 percentile of height, I’d look first at nutrition, especially if it’s a boy. Talk to an endocrinologist, do regular checkups, tell your concerns to the pediatrician. The “genetics” you’re talking about may be human growth hormone deficiency which is treatable.

Last, spend less time on forums biatching about redshirted kids and more on your child who seems to be in a state at terrible neglect.

Oh honey, the food is good and they eat no issue. They eat four meals a day. I don’t cook large batches. You cannot change genetics. I’m not giving my child artificial hormones that can cause other issues later in life. Your projecting. Maybe if you put half as much time into supporting your child’s education they could have gone on time.

Please get informed about this for the sake of your child. Genetics can also mean epigenetics as in the genes are turned on to make needed hormones. The ignorance is breathtaking.

If you’re against artificial hormones, are you also against diabetes treatment, because insulin is an artificial hormone. Against birth control too? Anti vaccine? I’m not surprised though, of course the most rabid anti-redshirters are also anti science and conspiracy theorists.

Those things are nit comparable. I’m ok with my kid being short. They don’t want the hormones, so it’s a no.

Not saying that’s absolutely the case, but if the child is in the bottom 5% of height there may be nutrition issues or an underlying medical condition. At least be open and consult a nutritionist or physician it doesn’t hurt to have another qualified opinion. There’s no shame in that.

It’s not about wanting hormones or not, it may be that the body doesn’t produce them in sufficient quantities. Seriously, we’re not living in the Middle Ages.

Doesn't someone have to be in the 5%? its a spectrum of all kids not a map to where a kid should be.

Exactly - they look at health, nutrition, do bloodwork, etc. but at some point its genetics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

Some sports have ethical policies that go by age not grade, to prevent this nonsense. I have smart kids, good IQ's and we prepared them academically and support as needed. Maybe if you tried that....

He does great academically even without me putting a lot of effort into it. With my career I wouldn’t have the time anyways. He has always been more independent and mature compared to other kids. Based on grades, AP scores and extracurriculars (captain of the varsity swim team) we’re targeting top schools.

Where does your kid go? If it’s around Boston they might end up close, fingers crossed!

This is a pretty typical profile. The more you post, the more you look silly as no reason to hold back. How do they do swimming outside hs where it is age based? How do they just have hs swim as an extra curricular. That’s only like three months out of the year. Funny how competitive you are. It’s sad you admit you put no effort in and your career comes first. He isn’t more mature or independent. He’s one to two years older so he’s equal or less due to the age gap. I feel bad for kids like yours where parents have all kinds of d of priorities that aren’t their kids being first. You held back for you, not him.

Don’t tell me how to raise my child I won’t tell you how to raise yours. Same with family priorities.

Really don’t get what your beef is or why you feel bad. How was that a “bad” outcome for the child? The kid turned out fine, maybe it would have been fine either way. If anything it is an indication that redshirting is not detrimental. In the end it’s a smart kid, doing great academically and socially that has a bright future ahead. That’s the dream of every parent. Mission accomplished, moving on to the next chapter in life.

You aren’t raising your kid. You are too busy with your career. These kids are not smarter and brighter nor more mature. They are with younger peers so you need to put them with age appropriate peers to compare. They may not survive in college never having to work hard or be challenged.

A total of 14 AP scores of 5 throughout high school would beg to differ. In high school the age matters less, there a lot of mixing between younger and older students especially in AP classes. It doesn’t matter. We didn’t care about classmates birthdays but my estimate is he was younger than the average in AP Calculus, older in AP Spanish.

I’m happy about how I raised my kid and where he ended up, actually I’m quite proud of it. Having a career is in my view a positive model for a child that can see the parent being engaged and a productive member of society. My kid absolutely loved career days.

Not sure which ap calc your kid took but mine took bc as a 15 year old. That’s smart. Your kid may be extremely smart but you held them back.

Same, he was in 9th grade, it worked out fine. So what if they were held back, there no prize on who graduates high school the youngest. Holding back worked for us, I don’t see why you are so aggravated by this. Serious trying hard to understand, but I don’t get it.

I hardly doubt he was in 9th and you are probably making this all up. And, if he was in 9th held back doing bc you are proving there was no reason to hold him back. What school system allowed this? It would be very rare. Your posts get more and more bizzare and are proof on why your kid shou,d not have been held back. So, what math are they in now if they did bc as a freshman? And then there is no way they could do 15 aps there are no ap classes in math after calc bc.

You can doubt as much as you like.

AP Statistics in 10th, dual enrollment in 11th, for a total of four semesters of Multivariable Calculus, Linear Algebra, Differential Equations and Discrete Math, basically exhausting the community college math catalogue. The school also allows AP computer science classes to be taken as math, but he took them as electives, easy 5s. He didn’t do 15 APs, I said 14.

As I said the coursework was plenty challenging, basically he could have earned an AA degree while in high school, but chose not to so that the freshman status is not affected. It worked out great for him college wise.

This child should not have been held back and they are lying about the math. And, probably everything else. No school allows computer science as a math.

DC and few other states allow computer science class to fulfill math requirements in high school.

Read what they are posting. They wouldn't need the math requirement if the child was actually at CC as it would transfer. NOTHING they say makes sense. MD does not and they specifically said MD.

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Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

So, why did you hold back? No, intellectual abilities are partly due to IQ, partly hard work, baring any sn or learning disabilities. Older doesn't make you smarter or more intellectual. It makes you less intellectual as you are not with true peers and with younger peers with lower expectations. When expectations are lowered that's not smarter, that's gaming the system.

One of my kids is very short regardless. At 17 they are still very short. Should I have held them back 3-4 years to hope they'd grow more?

Some of us put a lot of effort into our children’s nutrition, I wonder why you couldn’t do the same, it’s not that hard. When they were young it was like a had another extra job making sure they always had home cooked nutritious meals. They’ve never had junk food or sugary drinks!

Consult with their pediatrician, we were advised three servings of dairy per day, and make sure they eat about 1 gram of protein a day per pound of body weight. That’s a lot of meat, eggs, fish. Don’t even think about restricting food amounts if it’s clean, teenager boys eat a lot! In 6th grade my kid grew from 5’1” to 5’6”, it was crazy to watch.

My kid doesn’t drink juice or any bad drinks and just milk and water. Of course we all cook. Even pack every school lunch. That has nothing to do with height. It is genetics.

Since you put so much effort into food, why didn’t you put the same into academics and extracurricular activities?

Maybe the issue is that the food does not taste good. Do they say they like it, see them eating it, or maybe throwing away secretly? Cook fresh instead of doing a large batch for the week. Only saying it because that’s what I did as a child and the portions were often too small. I was very skinny.

If the child is in the bottom 20 percentile of height, I’d look first at nutrition, especially if it’s a boy. Talk to an endocrinologist, do regular checkups, tell your concerns to the pediatrician. The “genetics” you’re talking about may be human growth hormone deficiency which is treatable.

Last, spend less time on forums biatching about redshirted kids and more on your child who seems to be in a state at terrible neglect.

Oh honey, the food is good and they eat no issue. They eat four meals a day. I don’t cook large batches. You cannot change genetics. I’m not giving my child artificial hormones that can cause other issues later in life. Your projecting. Maybe if you put half as much time into supporting your child’s education they could have gone on time.

Please get informed about this for the sake of your child. Genetics can also mean epigenetics as in the genes are turned on to make needed hormones. The ignorance is breathtaking.

If you’re against artificial hormones, are you also against diabetes treatment, because insulin is an artificial hormone. Against birth control too? Anti vaccine? I’m not surprised though, of course the most rabid anti-redshirters are also anti science and conspiracy theorists.

Those things are nit comparable. I’m ok with my kid being short. They don’t want the hormones, so it’s a no.

Not saying that’s absolutely the case, but if the child is in the bottom 5% of height there may be nutrition issues or an underlying medical condition. At least be open and consult a nutritionist or physician it doesn’t hurt to have another qualified opinion. There’s no shame in that.

It’s not about wanting hormones or not, it may be that the body doesn’t produce them in sufficient quantities. Seriously, we’re not living in the Middle Ages.

Slightly off topic but I think it’s important to raise awareness and this may still be the right venue. Short stature is defined below 5’4” height for boys and 4’11” for girls after puberty. It is a medical condition that can have nutritional and hormonal causes and it can be difficult to diagnose.

It can be treated before puberty ideally before 8-10 years old. Don’t chuck it to “genes”.

https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/short-stature-child

If a parent considers redshirting because the child is small for the age, consult growth charts and see if the child is in the bottom 5 percentile and discuss with the pediatrician this possibility. Please don’t let ignorance ruin your child’s life.