Can we analyze jennifer lopez?

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I recently rewatched "Good Will Hunting." He was so cute.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The magnitude of her downfall is such that being cheated on is, at this point, would have been a preferable scenario.

That's not wrong. At least the fault would be squarely on him vs. everyone talking about how insufferable she is and who can blame him.

+1 She is in the decline. Soon she will be in concert at smaller venues like Wolftrap.

Well since she can't sing, don't think that will be an option for her. People go to her shows for the fun theatrics, expensive sets, and elaborate dance choreography not the quality of her music. But middle-aged women performers without serious talent don't have much of an audience. She's not Madonna, who is unique in being able to continue to draw.

This is a tough time for her. Even with an incredible body and reasonably good dance talent, hard to see how she pivots from here. The best work ethic in the world won't compensate for mediocre talent plus sexism and ageism in a very harsh industry. I agree with the PP who said she should stop making terrible movies though. Maybe just do some judicious high-end glamour endorsements and work on adjusting to a quieter life. Her kids have very few years left at home. I'd focus on them while mulling over what could come next.

Maybe a prestige tv series. Other middle-aged actresses like Jen Aniston, Reese W, Kerry W and, yes, Jen G made positive transitions in this way.

True, but JLo doesn't appear to want to transition. A lot of immaturity is continually on display.

Jlo is not a good actress. She was perfect for Selena, but she’s not a good actress and therefore wasn’t able to transition beyond rom coms. Hollywood is cruel to women this way. But there will be no prestige tv series for her, because she can’t progress beyond the 20/30 something romcom. Even her last movie with Owen Wilson was the same rom com premise- how many roles like that exist for 50 somethings?

I don't understand why she doesn't take some time to actually work on her craft. Has she ever done that? Voice lessons, instrument lessons, elocution lessons (her Bronx accent is limiting--if I had her resources, I would have gotten the necessary assistance to discard it long ago). Maybe she could surprise some people. She always seems to be hustling for the next lucrative paycheck versus working on herself and developing versatility that has a little more depth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The magnitude of her downfall is such that being cheated on is, at this point, would have been a preferable scenario.

That's not wrong. At least the fault would be squarely on him vs. everyone talking about how insufferable she is and who can blame him.

+1 She is in the decline. Soon she will be in concert at smaller venues like Wolftrap.

Well since she can't sing, don't think that will be an option for her. People go to her shows for the fun theatrics, expensive sets, and elaborate dance choreography not the quality of her music. But middle-aged women performers without serious talent don't have much of an audience. She's not Madonna, who is unique in being able to continue to draw.

This is a tough time for her. Even with an incredible body and reasonably good dance talent, hard to see how she pivots from here. The best work ethic in the world won't compensate for mediocre talent plus sexism and ageism in a very harsh industry. I agree with the PP who said she should stop making terrible movies though. Maybe just do some judicious high-end glamour endorsements and work on adjusting to a quieter life. Her kids have very few years left at home. I'd focus on them while mulling over what could come next.

Maybe a prestige tv series. Other middle-aged actresses like Jen Aniston, Reese W, Kerry W and, yes, Jen G made positive transitions in this way.

True, but JLo doesn't appear to want to transition. A lot of immaturity is continually on display.

Agreed. She had the perfect opportunity after hustler's to ride that wave.

[Anonymous]

WHO CARES

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WHO CARES

Obviously, YOU!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This picture is worse.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1402143/ben-affleck-goes-out-to-dinner-solo-amid-jennifer-lopez-split-rumors

Poor guy.

What a hot mess. And not hot in a the positive sense. I don’t feel bad for him one bit though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WHO CARES

I find this level of narcissism fascinating. I can’t take my eyes off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WHO CARES

I find this level of narcissism fascinating. I can’t take my eyes off.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This picture is worse.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1402143/ben-affleck-goes-out-to-dinner-solo-amid-jennifer-lopez-split-rumors

Poor guy.

What a hot mess. And not hot in a the positive sense. I don’t feel bad for him one bit though.

I feel bad for him the way I feel bad for any alcoholic. I don't feel bad for him like he's some victim of his relationship. He chose this for himself.

If you've ever known an addict, you recognized the red flags on this relationship from the start. The sense he gives off like the relationship is happening to him instead of him being an active and willing participant are particularly problematic. Whatever you think about JLo, he is absolutely on the hook for the failure of this relationship.

Also, just speaking from person experience/observation (obviously I don't know these people), there is a toxic dynamic that can emerge where you have one partner who is emotionally needy and requires a lot of validation, and the other partner who withdraws. The more he withdraws, the needier she becomes because it triggers her abandonment issues. And the needier she becomes, the more he withdraws because it triggers his avoidance response. The only way to disrupt it is for BOTH partners to recognize what is happening and work through their issues. There is often a perception that the needy partner is "to blame" but they are no more culpable than the withdrawn partner. Both are acting out patterns that probably started during their childhood. Neither is more wrong than the other, it's just a very negative cycle that is hard to fix unless both people do a lot of soul searching and make the effort to come together. And even then, they may just not be suited for each other.

I will say as someone who was the "needy" partner, therapy went a long way to helping me find enough self-love and self-acceptance that I now demand less of partners. But I still would really struggle in a relationship with someone who was constantly pulling away. I may be much more mentally healthy and mature now, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't still be triggered by loving someone who always seemed to have one foot out the door. I still have abandonment issues, I'm just better at dealing with them (I would leave someone who did that to me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This picture is worse.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1402143/ben-affleck-goes-out-to-dinner-solo-amid-jennifer-lopez-split-rumors

Poor guy.

What a hot mess. And not hot in a the positive sense. I don’t feel bad for him one bit though.

I feel bad for him the way I feel bad for any alcoholic. I don't feel bad for him like he's some victim of his relationship. He chose this for himself.

If you've ever known an addict, you recognized the red flags on this relationship from the start. The sense he gives off like the relationship is happening to him instead of him being an active and willing participant are particularly problematic. Whatever you think about JLo, he is absolutely on the hook for the failure of this relationship.

Also, just speaking from person experience/observation (obviously I don't know these people), there is a toxic dynamic that can emerge where you have one partner who is emotionally needy and requires a lot of validation, and the other partner who withdraws. The more he withdraws, the needier she becomes because it triggers her abandonment issues. And the needier she becomes, the more he withdraws because it triggers his avoidance response. The only way to disrupt it is for BOTH partners to recognize what is happening and work through their issues. There is often a perception that the needy partner is "to blame" but they are no more culpable than the withdrawn partner. Both are acting out patterns that probably started during their childhood. Neither is more wrong than the other, it's just a very negative cycle that is hard to fix unless both people do a lot of soul searching and make the effort to come together. And even then, they may just not be suited for each other.

I will say as someone who was the "needy" partner, therapy went a long way to helping me find enough self-love and self-acceptance that I now demand less of partners. But I still would really struggle in a relationship with someone who was constantly pulling away. I may be much more mentally healthy and mature now, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't still be triggered by loving someone who always seemed to have one foot out the door. I still have abandonment issues, I'm just better at dealing with them (I would leave someone who did that to me).

Agree with this and this points to I think why most of us are fascinated with celebs. These people are given a lot of advantages — often good looks, usually at least some level of talent, more money than most of us can dream of, and what sometimes what looks like really fun jobs, doing what you love acting or music or making cool tv shows or launching businesses, whatever.

And yet many of them still manage to have the same human experience we all do. In fact, I think some of them are more prone to addiction and things like alcoholism and divorce and dysfunction because they have so many enablers and life is made so easy for them that they can really hit rock bottom in a way that most of us don’t have the luxury to.

Aside from substances, in the case of JLO, she just never really learned the dynamics that you just expressed, and never really put in the hard hard work to break these really harmful patterns for herself and her kids.

And in both ben and JLO’s cases, they’ve tried really hard to control the narrative by putting out a $20 million documentary, planned paparazzi events, putting intimate photos on Instagram like curling up in bed this morning of your honeymoon… I mean what other celebrity has done that!?! or the countless interviews ben has done that shows he blames his partners and struggles with accountability.

[Anonymous]

Maybe this is all a stunt to drive up ticket and movie sales for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is all a stunt to drive up ticket and movie sales for her.

JLO would never agree to such stunt. she will only agree to stunts where she is the winner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is all a stunt to drive up ticket and movie sales for her.

JLO would never agree to such stunt. she will only agree to stunts where she is the winner.

She wouldn’t okay Ben looking so unwell and haggard either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is all a stunt to drive up ticket and movie sales for her.

JLO would never agree to such stunt. she will only agree to stunts where she is the winner.

That's why I don't believe the stunt theory. JLO is heavily being blamed and is getting dragged with no end. I think she's desperately still trying to hold up the narrative everything will be fine while Ben is done.

[Anonymous]

I posted this on the Affleck thread, but it fits both of them here. Just change Ben for Jen and there you go.
Here is the thing: He/she has been rich and famous for so long, as has J Lo, that they are that detached from ordinary life and the lives regular people live. They are delusional narcissists who only care about the quick thrill and, like all narcs, self-destruct.
I have no sympathy for either of them. They are pathetic losers, even with all the money and fame.
And for those that will chime that I am jealous... lol, his kids know he put his d*** into their nanny, they saw him drunk all the time, and he is in tabloids as a middle-aged gambling alcoholic putting on PDA that his kids see all the time.
And before some chime in, I just gave him an excuse due to his fame and money, eh? No to that, too. Plenty of people are rich and famous and are not narcissists like him or her, J Lo. I have more sympathy for Honey Boo Boo's mama June.