People in couples: would you hang out with a single person?
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Anonymous
| I'm newly divorced and finding that it's difficult to make "mom friends." It used to be quite easy, but now that I don't bring a husband to the table, I wonder how big a part of the equation my marriage was. (FWIW when I was married my husband and I would hang out with single people.) Would/do you? |
Anonymous
| Of course I do! I love going out with my friends and their marriage status has nothing to do with it. |
Anonymous
|
Of course we do.
Don't take this the wrong way because I don't actually know if you are likable or not ... Maybe your DH was more likable than you are? |
Anonymous
| If you're hot, yeah sure, come hang out with us, I'm sure DW won't mind. |
Anonymous
OP here. This doesn't apply to me as I relocated when I left my ex. |
Anonymous
DP. PP is saying that perhaps you aren't likeable and before people hung out with you due to the likabiliy of your husband, and they were willing to put up with you because of him. However, I doubt this is the case. I think it's harder to make new friends as you get older (especially with a relocation!) and the divorce is a coincidence. I know that i'm less inclined now to make new friends. I just don't see the need as I did when I was younger and I'm busy and I want to spend my free time resting or on my own pursuits. I'm sure you are lovely but you'll have to keep working at it. |
Anonymous
| Well, the fact you only want to be friends that are "moms" eliminates some people, don't you think? |
Anonymous
OP here. I was using this as an example, as it was a sure-fire way to make friends in the past. I'd love to make friends with all kinds of people, whatever their marital/parental status. |
Anonymous
| Yes of course. I do, however, have difficulty making time to make new friends. It's really hard to make new friends in a new place! Give it time, be outgoing, put yourself out there. I really doubt this is a single/couples thing |
Anonymous
| I do all the time. But this is also probably because I hang out with my girlfriends like 10x for every one time we hang out with our husbands/boyfriends/partners whatever in tow. Some have kids, others don't. |
Anonymous
And I will add...I don't have a locked in solid clique. We bring other women we are individually friends with to hang out all the time. Very fluid groupings and we have made a lot of new friends through each other. |
Anonymous
| I didn't have problems with this after divorce. |
Anonymous
| We not only would, we do. But it is hard to make new friends, especially as it sounds like you've moved to a new city and are starting from scratch. I'd join some local clubs or groups organized around activities you enjoy so you can meet people you have something in common with. |
Anonymous
| My DH and I have lots of single friends, mostly women but a couple of men too. We were dinks a long time and just had our baby. I don't see any of my friends with "regular" family structures hang out with singles the way we do. I think we were just in the "no kids" group a long time which included couples and singles. Having children or not is more of a separator I think. |
Anonymous
|
Yes. I don't care about other people's marriages at all.
Weirdly enough, I had a playdate with a woman who was single and it was ALL she would talk about. She just kept talking about everyone excluding her because she was single. Except I was right there with her on a playdate as was my other friend. She brought it up over and over. She also said that people with 2 kids excluded her because she only had one. I came to the conclusion that people were excluding her for other reasons and she just thought it was being she didn't have a husband. |