IS PTSD a real thing when it comes to being around In-Laws?

[Anonymous]

I have not remember a time when gatherings with my in-laws (especially MIL and BIL) have been fun. I get anxiety vacationing or in any gatherings with them. We only see each other, maybe 6-8 times a year but I get anxiety before, after and during. I couldn't pinpoint it until now that it may be PTSD. Maybe this is a mild form of it?

[Anonymous]

Idk but I feel the same exact way. I get really anxious and irritable the week(s) before going to visit. Just a ton of work and unenjoyable. They aren't bad people either.

[Anonymous]

That would mean that you had some kind of traumatic experience with them. Did they assault you? Gang up to yell and scream at you? Do something that triggered memories of an early assault or other traumatic event? Were you in a car crash with them?

"It's not fun" is not the same as "it's traumatic."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Idk but I feel the same exact way. I get really anxious and irritable the week(s) before going to visit. Just a ton of work and unenjoyable. They aren't bad people either.

I also get the same way. In years past I have even gotten physically sick from the stress and anxiety. It's gotten better over time but I still get very stressed, anxious, and irritable leading up to any visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would mean that you had some kind of traumatic experience with them. Did they assault you? Gang up to yell and scream at you? Do something that triggered memories of an early assault or other traumatic event? Were you in a car crash with them?

"It's not fun" is not the same as "it's traumatic."

Yes, a lot of arguments and screaming at me or each other. They have never assaulted me. After they scream at me, they apologize and treat it as though nothing has happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would mean that you had some kind of traumatic experience with them. Did they assault you? Gang up to yell and scream at you? Do something that triggered memories of an early assault or other traumatic event? Were you in a car crash with them?

"It's not fun" is not the same as "it's traumatic."

+1000000

[Anonymous]

This is what happens when we, as a society, no longer expect people to “suck it up.”

Life can’t always be 100% controlled by you. You live your spouse and they love their parents so you deal. At least that’s what most people do.

[Anonymous]

Not every pain and suffering has to be officially labeled. I'm a scientist and love to label things, but PTSD is a little extreme when you consider that the typical patient is a combat vet who has experienced multiple scenarios of violent deaths and re-lives them in peace time.

I'm not trying to minimize your stress, because I believe that it's exactly the type of stress you describe that is harmful in the long-term and in the general population, precisely because it is so prevalent and apt to be minimized. I would say you had an anxiety disorder triggered by certain social situations.

So take steps to protect yourself, whatever you call it! Minimize contact. Never explain, (and try to) never complain.

[Anonymous]

No.

Do not trivialize actual ptsd like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would mean that you had some kind of traumatic experience with them. Did they assault you? Gang up to yell and scream at you? Do something that triggered memories of an early assault or other traumatic event? Were you in a car crash with them?

"It's not fun" is not the same as "it's traumatic."

Yes, a lot of arguments and screaming at me or each other. They have never assaulted me. After they scream at me, they apologize and treat it as though nothing has happened.

Still no.

PP said it well.

This sucks or isn't fun is no way equivalent to someone who has experienced trauma like rape or the horror of genocide or war.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would mean that you had some kind of traumatic experience with them. Did they assault you? Gang up to yell and scream at you? Do something that triggered memories of an early assault or other traumatic event? Were you in a car crash with them?

"It's not fun" is not the same as "it's traumatic."

Yes, a lot of arguments and screaming at me or each other. They have never assaulted me. After they scream at me, they apologize and treat it as though nothing has happened.

Still no.

PP said it well.

This sucks or isn't fun is no way equivalent to someone who has experienced trauma like rape or the horror of genocide or war.

OP here, yes you are right, if compared to this, it's not. I'm trying to clarify what I am feeling and give it a name.

[Anonymous]

It could be complex ptsd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would mean that you had some kind of traumatic experience with them. Did they assault you? Gang up to yell and scream at you? Do something that triggered memories of an early assault or other traumatic event? Were you in a car crash with them?

"It's not fun" is not the same as "it's traumatic."

Yes, a lot of arguments and screaming at me or each other. They have never assaulted me. After they scream at me, they apologize and treat it as though nothing has happened.

Still no.

PP said it well.

This sucks or isn't fun is no way equivalent to someone who has experienced trauma like rape or the horror of genocide or war.

OP here, yes you are right, if compared to this, it's not. I'm trying to clarify what I am feeling and give it a name.

What you are feeling is what 90% of people feel with regards to their in laws.

It is the stress of having to adjust and suddenly become family with people you have no extended history with and who you might or might not like or even associate with in any other circumstance. It is also the competitiveness a wife feels, usually with MIL, at trying to cut the husband from his herd so to speak and claim him for your own.

It is normal adjustment and stress.

And unless one or both parties are truly awful people, it usually fades over time and can even grow from stress and anxiety to fondness and (gasp) love

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would mean that you had some kind of traumatic experience with them. Did they assault you? Gang up to yell and scream at you? Do something that triggered memories of an early assault or other traumatic event? Were you in a car crash with them?

"It's not fun" is not the same as "it's traumatic."

Yes, a lot of arguments and screaming at me or each other. They have never assaulted me. After they scream at me, they apologize and treat it as though nothing has happened.

Dude. Stop visiting your ILs for awhile. No one deserves to be treated like that! Where is your DH in this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Not every pain and suffering has to be officially labeled. I'm a scientist and love to label things, but PTSD is a little extreme when you consider that the typical patient is a combat vet who has experienced multiple scenarios of violent deaths and re-lives them in peace time.

I'm not trying to minimize your stress, because I believe that it's exactly the type of stress you describe that is harmful in the long-term and in the general population, precisely because it is so prevalent and apt to be minimized. I would say you had an anxiety disorder triggered by certain social situations.

So take steps to protect yourself, whatever you call it! Minimize contact. Never explain, (and try to) never complain.

Um, if I knew I was going to hear people screaming at each other and me every time I went somewhere, I think it would be awfully normal not to want to go. "Certain social situations" is one heck of a euphemism.