IS PTSD a real thing when it comes to being around In-Laws?

[Anonymous]

I have PTSD due to a violent attack. It's nearly debilitating. I am disabled, technically. A bad relationship with your in-laws is not the same. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you in therapy? Don't self-diagnosis yourself on a forum, all the reactions you have mean you need to get in to see a therapist about, at the very least, anxiety and maybe something more than a professional will be diagnosis.

Your in-laws ARE abusive. There is that. You need to not see them, and you need to get yourself in good enough head space to protect yourself and your children. Therapy will build that spine and give you tools to withstand the fallout of lowering contact with them.

**That, not than, sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure it's PTSD, but I have the same experience visiting my in-laws as you, OP. And frankly, I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone.

I am 'all consumed' by the visit in the weeks leading up to it, usually increase my drinking habits as a coping mechanism, sobbing into my suitcase, and imagining elaborate schemes where I could break my legs so I didn't have to go.

I have a baby now so I've been using the "it's too hard to travel with an infant" excuse, but that won't last forever. I wish I could get some horse tranquilizers so I could just sleep through these visits and pretend I had the 'flu.'

Are your ILs also as crazy as the OP's? What does your DH say about this?

Either way, therapy would like help you figure out better ways to cope--which might include not going or setting significant limits on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a survivor of diagnosed PTSD, you are insulting and clueless. You have literal flashbacks and panic attacks? Suicidal thoughts? Self-harm? Months-long insomnia?

Grow. UP.

Yes. Panic attacks where I can't breathe. Maybe not suicidal but wish I was dead and the Earth swallowed me up or wish I was never born. Yes, flashbacks. Yes, insomnia.

And yet you haven’t gotten a diagnosis? Huh.

[Anonymous]

Then just don’t effing go. You have an effing CHOICE. Those of us who actually went through trauma had no choice.

[Anonymous]

I think you just have anxiety, and you need to stop spending so much time with your in-laws. I don't see how you can have PTSD.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is "obligated" to spend both Christmas and Thanksgiving with your in laws, who he acknowledges are crazy? Obligated by whom? He's not obligated, he's choosing to see them and spend time with them. Willingly.

If your in laws are as bad as you indicate, screaming etc, I'd worry about exposing your kids to them.

[Anonymous]

I think that your application of PTSD to your situation makes a mockery of the disorder and belittles people who suffer from it.

[Anonymous]

You just need to get your big girl pants on.

[Anonymous]

Not PTSD, but I have this same reaction with my own family, mainly because of emotional abuse.

[Anonymous]

People chill out on the term. Stop taking it personally. The scientist upthread said it best without being insulting or wounded.

But yeah, we get you, OP. this is a "thing" for sure.

[Anonymous]

I believe there is research showing that some people are more susceptible to trauma than others, I.e. the thresholds for emotional pain are different. It is possible to have PTSD from a bad break up or ILs abuse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Not every pain and suffering has to be officially labeled. I'm a scientist and love to label things, but PTSD is a little extreme when you consider that the typical patient is a combat vet who has experienced multiple scenarios of violent deaths and re-lives them in peace time.

I'm not trying to minimize your stress, because I believe that it's exactly the type of stress you describe that is harmful in the long-term and in the general population, precisely because it is so prevalent and apt to be minimized. I would say you had an anxiety disorder triggered by certain social situations.

So take steps to protect yourself, whatever you call it! Minimize contact. Never explain, (and try to) never complain.

Um, if I knew I was going to hear people screaming at each other and me every time I went somewhere, I think it would be awfully normal not to want to go. "Certain social situations" is one heck of a euphemism.

If you grew up with screaming and emotional abuse and the associated powerlessness, it could be PTSD in that it triggers that association.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Not every pain and suffering has to be officially labeled. I'm a scientist and love to label things, but PTSD is a little extreme when you consider that the typical patient is a combat vet who has experienced multiple scenarios of violent deaths and re-lives them in peace time.

I'm not trying to minimize your stress, because I believe that it's exactly the type of stress you describe that is harmful in the long-term and in the general population, precisely because it is so prevalent and apt to be minimized. I would say you had an anxiety disorder triggered by certain social situations.

So take steps to protect yourself, whatever you call it! Minimize contact. Never explain, (and try to) never complain.

Um, if I knew I was going to hear people screaming at each other and me every time I went somewhere, I think it would be awfully normal not to want to go. "Certain social situations" is one heck of a euphemism.

If you grew up with screaming and emotional abuse and the associated powerlessness, it could be PTSD in that it triggers that association.

Adding ... but then the true issue would be the untreated childhood abuse. OP, at the very least you have issues with an anxiety and you should see a therapist. And cut the in-laws out of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People chill out on the term. Stop taking it personally. The scientist upthread said it best without being insulting or wounded.

But yeah, we get you, OP. this is a "thing" for sure.

OP easily could have—and certainly should have—used different terminology. Anxiety attacks, panic attacks, extreme stress, something. It’s ignorant, insensitive and tone-deaf to use this terminology for this scenario.