Would you consider this a red flag?

[Anonymous]

If the person you’re dating had pictures of their ex hanging up in their house or if they took family vacations with their ex?

[TwistdMike]

Did they have kids together? If so, the pics are probably there for the kids.

If you’re new to the house, then I don’t think it’s odd.

[Anonymous]

If that person has children I can understand it. It would mean that they are trying to have a civil relationship. If they are sharing the same bed when on vacation that's a whole different issue!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag in the way that demanding your passwords and going through your phone is a red flag, but if it makes you uncomfortable, you should listen to your gut and end it.

There is someone out there whose quirks will align with yours and with whom you won’t feel uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

If they have a child/children, no.

[Anonymous]

There would be a point that you would need to phase out the family vacations.

[Anonymous]

OP here, yes they have one child together. I understand trying to be civil/mature for your child’s sake, but I do think the family vacations are too much.

[Anonymous]

I would be ok with the photos but very uncomfortable with the vacations. OP, if you don't feel good about it now, you should end it. (And I don't blame you for doing so.)

[Anonymous]

How long have you been dating and have you met the ex?

[Anonymous]

You are not the person for him. He clearly needs someone who thinks this is a good thing, because it is. Why does every divorce have to be contentious?

We took vacations together and there was NOTHING romantic going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If that person has children I can understand it. It would mean that they are trying to have a civil relationship. If they are sharing the same bed when on vacation that's a whole different issue!

Maybe s/he's just thrifty ...?

OK, no.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, a house FULL of pictures of the ex, plus regular family vacations, would be a red flag to me. I dated a guy who was completely enmeshed with his ex, far beyond a healthy level of co-parenting. That was a bad situation for me.

A few pictures, and family travel together once or twice for a good reason? (Like maybe a performance or child's activity out of town, or visiting sick in laws, something like that?) Sure, sounds healthy. But continuing to be emotionally entwined with the ex is a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, yes they have one child together. I understand trying to be civil/mature for your child’s sake, but I do think the family vacations are too much.

How recent and how often were the vacations? How long have they been divorced for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not the person for him. He clearly needs someone who thinks this is a good thing, because it is. Why does every divorce have to be contentious?

We took vacations together and there was NOTHING romantic going on.

There doesn't have to be something "romantic" going on for the level of emotional involvement to be inappropriate. I would expect my partner to prioritize traveling with me (along with the child, of course), not with the ex. Money and vacation time are limited.

[Anonymous]

When our child was young my ex and I would go on vacation with her together. She and I would share a room but a number of times I went to his room. Sex wasn't the issue in our marriage as you might guess. But when one of us got into a serious relationships those vacations ended. She does have a picture of her Dad in her room and my DH is fine with it as we have maintained a decent relationship.