Friendly with ex husband but he comes into my home during drop off

[Anonymous]

My ex and I will hopefully be divorced by the end of the summer. I moved out of the martial home. When I drop off or pick our kids I try and stay outside. The kids are teenagers and do not need any help. When my ex comes over he comes in with the kids who have a key. I don't want to cause a rift but this seems as intrusive. I'm polite and do small talk. I don't want to make my kids uneasy and say don't let your father in. How can I explain to my ex that he can just drop them off curbside? Our divorce has been amicable.

[Anonymous]

Umm you just say, “wait outside for the kids, and we can talk out there.” This is the man you married and you can’t even say something so simple?

[Anonymous]

You can't have it both ways. If he stops coming in, the kids will notice the difference. Children in the middle of a divorce are very sensitive to the relationship between their parents. If you don't want him to come in, toughen up and tell him. Own your choice and don't try to hide what you're doing.

How amicable is it, really, if you can't stand him being in your house for a few minutes?

[Anonymous]

OP here. My husband left me for someone else. Not sure that it matters but it hurts having him in my home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My husband left me for someone else. Not sure that it matters but it hurts having him in my home.

Sorry op, that sucks. What does he do when he comes in? Talk about the kids? Ask about You? Just stand there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My husband left me for someone else. Not sure that it matters but it hurts having him in my home.

The reason does not matter and you don’t need a reason to say wait outside for the kids. Toughen up lady

[Anonymous]

Then text him or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My husband left me for someone else. Not sure that it matters but it hurts having him in my home.

Sorry op, that sucks. What does he do when he comes in? Talk about the kids? Ask about You? Just stand there?

He plays with our dog, makes small talk and hugs our kids goodbye. I have taken the high road but this is too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My husband left me for someone else. Not sure that it matters but it hurts having him in my home.

Sorry op, that sucks. What does he do when he comes in? Talk about the kids? Ask about You? Just stand there?

He plays with our dog, makes small talk and hugs our kids goodbye. I have taken the high road but this is too much.

Is he still with the other person? Sounds like he realized the grass isn't greener.

[Anonymous]

I know so many women who run into this problem with XHs. If you are even the tiniest bit nice to them, they act like your home is their home. A friend found out that her XH was showering in her apartment! He would bike their son over to daycare from his apartment, shower, and then bike the last couple blocks to Metro. This was happening a few times a week. She had to take back the key she gave him for emergencies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My husband left me for someone else. Not sure that it matters but it hurts having him in my home.

Sorry op, that sucks. What does he do when he comes in? Talk about the kids? Ask about You? Just stand there?

He plays with our dog, makes small talk and hugs our kids goodbye. I have taken the high road but this is too much.

Is he still with the other person? Sounds like he realized the grass isn't greener.

He is still with her but they don"t live together.

About two weeks ago he did bring me my favorite Thai dish after taking the kids out to dinner.

[Anonymous]

Would you take him back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you take him back?

No. Too far along with the divorce plus he left me.

[Anonymous]

It gets better. I remember being crazy territorial over my new space and did not want ex intruding into my new life and home. I did have to set some limits the first year. A few years down the road I no longer care, but at the time everything - all the change and hurt was too fresh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My husband left me for someone else. Not sure that it matters but it hurts having him in my home.

Sorry op, that sucks. What does he do when he comes in? Talk about the kids? Ask about You? Just stand there?

He plays with our dog, makes small talk and hugs our kids goodbye. I have taken the high road but this is too much.

Is he still with the other person? Sounds like he realized the grass isn't greener.

He is still with her but they don"t live together.

About two weeks ago he did bring me my favorite Thai dish after taking the kids out to dinner.

Hmm,.maybe he is just trying to get along.

How long does he stay? If it's 5 mins or so go with it. If he is staying for 15 mins or more end it. Open the door, say have a good night/weekend, see when I drop the kids off, etc.