Gift for acquaintance whose husband just left her?

[Anonymous]

Was thinking an orchid and card? What should I write? I’m heartbroken for her and her kids! Her husband cheated for years and finally left for someone younger and thinner, more successful etc etc.

[Anonymous]

What!!?? Don't do this. Take her out for a drink or call her to ask how's she is doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What!!?? Don't do this. Take her out for a drink or call her to ask how's she is doing.

Yeah, definitely don't send her a high maintenance flowers and a "thoughts and prayers" card. If you can, please offer to take her out or look after her kids for a few hours while she takes some time for herself. If you're not able to do that because of distance or whatever, reach out to her and ask her if there is anything you can do for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What!!?? Don't do this. Take her out for a drink or call her to ask how's she is doing.

Yeah, definitely don't send her a high maintenance flowers and a "thoughts and prayers" card. If you can, please offer to take her out or look after her kids for a few hours while she takes some time for herself. If you're not able to do that because of distance or whatever, reach out to her and ask her if there is anything you can do for her.

She’s moved on several rings up the social ladder from me and has a mother’s helper for the kids. Don’t think she wants to meet me for wine or have me watch the kids haha. “Anything I can do for you” text seems trite given her largesse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What!!?? Don't do this. Take her out for a drink or call her to ask how's she is doing.

Yeah, definitely don't send her a high maintenance flowers and a "thoughts and prayers" card. If you can, please offer to take her out or look after her kids for a few hours while she takes some time for herself. If you're not able to do that because of distance or whatever, reach out to her and ask her if there is anything you can do for her.

She’s moved on several rings up the social ladder from me and has a mother’s helper for the kids. Don’t think she wants to meet me for wine or have me watch the kids haha. “Anything I can do for you” text seems trite given her largesse.

Then offer your apologies in person when you see her and leave t at that. She’s not your friend and what you describe just sounds weird to me.

[Anonymous]

I am going through this. I would appreciate a friend, or even an acquaintance, taking the time to call me up and say, "sorry, I heard about ..., I would like to invite you out to drinks/lunch/dinner." The spouse left behind is likely feeling some combination of abandoned, depressed, invisible unloved, overehelmed, unsupported, and so, so sad. Knowing that even one person out there is thinking of you, and offering their support, is a gift beyond measure. Then be prepared to listen, and bring lots of kleenex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What!!?? Don't do this. Take her out for a drink or call her to ask how's she is doing.

Yeah, definitely don't send her a high maintenance flowers and a "thoughts and prayers" card. If you can, please offer to take her out or look after her kids for a few hours while she takes some time for herself. If you're not able to do that because of distance or whatever, reach out to her and ask her if there is anything you can do for her.

She’s moved on several rings up the social ladder from me and has a mother’s helper for the kids. Don’t think she wants to meet me for wine or have me watch the kids haha. “Anything I can do for you” text seems trite given her largesse.

Ladders have rungs and largesse means not just wealth but generosity with ones wealth.

That being said I liked getting cards of support when I got a divorce.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there is anything wrong with a blank card. Mail it to her with a handwritten note on the inside

Jane,

I’m so sorry to hear about you and Jack. I’m here for you, and you have a support system with me if ever you need anything. I can’t walk in your shoes, but you don’t have to walk alone.

Sincerely,
Betty

Include a book that may encourage her for those going through divorce.

Then call and check on her to schedule lunch in a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anything more than a simple note is overkill. Don't send flowers, it's not a funeral.

[Anonymous]

Send her a boytoy

[Anonymous]

My first thought re: orchid: great, a high maintenance flower that dies easily!

Offer to take her out for a drink, just anote to tell her you're there for her, etc.

[Anonymous]

When we broke up the last thing I wanted was sympathy. I had already mourned the failure of my marriage so now it was time to move on. What really helped was friends watching my kids for a few hours at different times so I could meet with lawyers and do all the stuff you need to do. The absolute worst was a couple of lunches where the women revealed that there own marriages were iffy and how did I find out my husband was cheating on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was thinking an orchid and card? What should I write? I’m heartbroken for her and her kids! Her husband cheated for years and finally left for someone younger and thinner, more successful etc etc.

Wow, that's brutal.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she needs a gym membership...about three years ago!

[Anonymous]

Vibrator?