Losing the war with my 13 yo DD
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I have very few pleasant interactions with my DD anymore.
If I am doing something for her, or what she explicitly approves, she's pleasant. Otherwise she's passive-aggressive, mopey, complaining she's tired or has a headache, or crying because I have expressed displeasure with her. She eats nothing but snacks and is difficult at dinner which really makes me nuts. Am I the only one who is doing a horrible job navigating this stage? I haven't smoked in many years but I wanted nothing more than a cigarette tonight... |
Anonymous
| Read Yes Your Teen is Crazy. |
Anonymous
| Have you taken her to the doctor for the headaches? |
Anonymous
| She sounds spoiled. Is she? |
Anonymous
| Sounds like my 13 year-old DD. I keep telling myself this too shall pass... |
Anonymous
OP here. Any tips on how you keep your cool? |
Anonymous
|
No advice, just support. My 13 year old son is affectionate and calm, and my 8 year old daughter will very likely end up like yours - she can be quite nasty already! |
Anonymous
|
Drop her privileged ass off at a homeless shelter for a day of volunteering her time to help others.
She will soon realize she doesn't have it so bad after all. |
Anonymous
| Is it all the time, or is it only a certain time during each month? |
Anonymous
| I share your pain. I have the same. Fight the good fight and be strong. It gets better. |
Anonymous
|
“You don’t have like what I’m doing/what’s for dinner/fill in the blank, but you don’t get to be rude. If you choose to respond again in that way, the phone is gone for the rest of the week.”
“It looks like you need some space to work through this. I’m going about my business downstairs.” “You can one have snack here in the kitchen and then that’s it.” (my kids are not allowed to take food out of the kitchen/eating area. No eating in bedrooms or tv watching area in basement) Dinner is in an hour.” “I’m going to step out of this conversation right now because I need a break. I’ll be available to talk when you’re calm and not yelling.” Then walk away without any more engagement. —mom of a 12 year old girl. Just trying to stay calm and not engage in the crazy. |
Anonymous
|
Hormones. You are not losing the war. This is only a battle and, even though it's a long phase, it will pass. I try to remember that my kids feel bad and out of control too. I try to give mine space and I try to figure out how to spend time with them when they are feeling good. Also, mine will still do some of the things with me that they always enjoyed - I try to capitalize on that.
|
Anonymous
+1 this stage sucks but this book helps. |
Anonymous
| It will pass. Our daughter emerged from this around age 15, for the most part. |
Anonymous
I also found the book "How to Hug a Porcupine" to be helpful. |