Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I know them too and you’re missing some key points here as well as glossing over some biggies. This is an oversimplified retelling with a lot on her head.

Fill us in...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two kids meet at a small Baptist college in Oklahoma and fall in love. He’s a quiet, sensitive, somewhat shy slightly older kid who spent some time in the Army. She’s sort of a princess, someone who knows she’s prettier and smarter than most of the other girls in her small town and small college. She knows, even then, that she’s Meant For More. She has a bit of talent too. She’s good with “the words” and has a natural, easy sarcastic sense of humor. He adores her and she adores being adored.



They graduate, get married. He gets a job in ministry. She gets repeatedly pregnant. She, at first, plays the dutiful Ministry Wife and grade school teacher. Life is hard, though. Small kids. Runny noses. Tight budgets. She is bored and restless. He gets a bigger job in a bigger town but that’s not enough. She starts to write. Hustles. Finds a small publisher and has modest success. They need it too. Bills are piling up. She smells an opportunity. She gets her husband to go along with a plan to cause a bit of drama at their large mega-church. The church is false and phony, you see? Everything that’s wrong with American Christianity. A hollow church that only cares about the glitz and the surface. They, though - they REALLY CARE. They are the heroes, you see, the ones who REALLY get it.

So they leave with considerable drama and start a New Church. It’s finely designed to flatter their own self-built Origin Story. They are the heroes at the center doing church they way it’s meant to be. Well-meaning followers follow suit. At the same time her career really takes off and her books explode in popularity. She becomes for one moment the darling of the evangelical mom world.



But even then, they feels like she is Meant for More.



Running a church is exhausting though and media opportunities beckon. Her ‘ministry’ is increasingly secular, though. She sense an opportunity for a broader audience. More fame, more money, more opportunities. They get a TV show. She pivots to a strident social justice activism. Comes out as LGTBQ affirming. A huge uproar ensues. The church splits in chaos. Total confusion and a sense of betrayal among many followers.



She knows this will happen but she thinks it’s what it takes to get a bigger platform and success. It’s all calculated. But unfortunately, this is not what happens. Her subsequent books and media deals are less successful. Her efforts at becoming another HGTV mega star ala-Joanna Gaines fizzle out. She lashes out, mostly privately, and resents her husband’s seeming lack of contributions. Meanwhile, he spends a lot of money on toys and distractions. She assumes finances are okay. They grow apart and attempt counseling.



Meanwhile he languishes and flounders. He feels like a fraud and experiences a spiritual crises. Stops preaching. Eventually steps down from church leadership. Gets more involved in activities that serve to try to give him a sense of identity and self-worth as he’s always been someone who struggled with a sense of himself and has always needed the approval of others. A close friend passes away tragically. He’s not involved in this accident directly but this sends him into a deeper spiral of depression.



Meanwhile, COVID hits. Her stardom is waning. His depression and sadness is deepening. Being alone and together constantly grates and irritates.



Fissures once easily covered over become deep and obvious fractures.



Then something happens and they suddenly separate.



He moves one. So does she.



He finds happiness with a simple, sweet woman. She seethes.



With him it’s a story of an insecure man who battled with self-inflicted wounds and depression and lost a lot as a result.



With her it’s a story of a calculating, narcissistic chameleon who used Christianity as a stepping stone to gets bigger and brighter things. She grabbed at whatever, or anyone, she could find to promote herself. Her husband included.

It was always only about herself.



And now the world has largely moved on. She desperately needs a new act. The Snarky Suburban Wine Mom, Messy Bun Get ‘Er Done is so 2012. Hey, there’s always going back to teaching?

Seems pretty spot on to me.

[Anonymous]

She def wanted to be the next Chip and Joanna. The hatmaker’s show came just as Chip and JoJo started really exploding. Problem is- he isn’t that talented as a builder. He knows how to demo stuff. Chip knows construction and home building. Jen isn’t a designer- JoJo is. So there’s definitely a skills gap. Also, I think JoJo comes across a bit more authentic. Jen tries really really hard— she’s overly sappy and it doesn’t come across as authentic to me. I only have the perspective of being around her at their church and when I talked to her the one time for 2 mins. She could care less I was there. IMO, everything for her is a means to an end.

[Anonymous]

For one becoming gay affirming wasn’t calculated. It came from their daughter coming out (well before she came out publicly). It’s very common in evangelical families for them to change their viewpoint when faced with a gay child.
It wasn’t calculating to gain viewers or popularity.

Secondly Brandon was driving the golf cart when his friend died. He very much felt at fault and was a big deal in his life. Like any normal person the death of a friend, even accidental, when you feel guilty is a huge trauma.

You overstate her resentment of him and how ambitious for fame and stardom she is.

I’m not her biggest fan, although she is talented and kind, but she isn’t a calculating shrew. She’s a big personality with a modicum of celebrity in her life. That combo is a lot.
He’s much mellower and has demons of his own to fight. To what extent her behavior pushed him to that is unknown and really presumptive of you to assume.

Your post oversimplified a long and complicated marriage between two humans with good and bad to them.

[Anonymous]

Secondly Brandon was driving the golf cart when his friend died. He very much felt at fault and was a big deal in his life. Like any normal person the death of a friend, even accidental, when you feel guilty is a huge trauma.



This is very sad. What happened? Did cart flip over? Did this happen recently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Secondly Brandon was driving the golf cart when his friend died. He very much felt at fault and was a big deal in his life. Like any normal person the death of a friend, even accidental, when you feel guilty is a huge trauma.



This is very sad. What happened? Did cart flip over? Did this happen recently?

Agreed, what’s the story here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For one becoming gay affirming wasn’t calculated. It came from their daughter coming out (well before she came out publicly). It’s very common in evangelical families for them to change their viewpoint when faced with a gay child.
It wasn’t calculating to gain viewers or popularity.

I agree. Her becoming gay affirming cost her. She lost book deals, books removed from Christian stores and the evangelical world called her a heretic. I remember thr nasty things said about her.

While i don't love her (im not about drmam) I DO love that she didn't toe the evangelical industry line. (I'm a former evangelical mega church attendee and worked for church, so I'm very aware of how people are torn down if you don't follow their rules)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For one becoming gay affirming wasn’t calculated. It came from their daughter coming out (well before she came out publicly). It’s very common in evangelical families for them to change their viewpoint when faced with a gay child.
It wasn’t calculating to gain viewers or popularity.

I agree. Her becoming gay affirming cost her. She lost book deals, books removed from Christian stores and the evangelical world called her a heretic. I remember thr nasty things said about her.

While i don't love her (im not about drmam) I DO love that she didn't toe the evangelical industry line. (I'm a former evangelical mega church attendee and worked for church, so I'm very aware of how people are torn down if you don't follow their rules)

I agree that her (and Brandon’s) decision to become gay-affirming was more about their daughter than anything else. And I don’t fault them for that at all. But I disagree that their decision cost them. Yes, they received backlash from some of the more fundamental religious personalities; but the most popular ones were (and still are) supportive of them. People like Beth Moore, Max Lucado, Bon Goff, etc. Also, I know that some Christian book stores stopped selling her stuff, but it’s not like the big retailers ever did (Amazon, B&N, Target). In the grand scheme of things (like worldly popularity), it seems to have been a good decision on their part. She was leaning more towards the Glennon Doyle/Rachel Hollis fan base anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For one becoming gay affirming wasn’t calculated. It came from their daughter coming out (well before she came out publicly). It’s very common in evangelical families for them to change their viewpoint when faced with a gay child.
It wasn’t calculating to gain viewers or popularity.

I agree. Her becoming gay affirming cost her. She lost book deals, books removed from Christian stores and the evangelical world called her a heretic. I remember thr nasty things said about her.

While i don't love her (im not about drmam) I DO love that she didn't toe the evangelical industry line. (I'm a former evangelical mega church attendee and worked for church, so I'm very aware of how people are torn down if you don't follow their rules)

I agree that her (and Brandon’s) decision to become gay-affirming was more about their daughter than anything else. And I don’t fault them for that at all. But I disagree that their decision cost them. Yes, they received backlash from some of the more fundamental religious personalities; but the most popular ones were (and still are) supportive of them. People like Beth Moore, Max Lucado, Bon Goff, etc. Also, I know that some Christian book stores stopped selling her stuff, but it’s not like the big retailers ever did (Amazon, B&N, Target). In the grand scheme of things (like worldly popularity), it seems to have been a good decision on their part. She was leaning more towards the Glennon Doyle/Rachel Hollis fan base anyway.

100% agree with you. The Evangelical bubble (as a whole) dropped her, but the rest of the world embraced her. She gained more followers and supporters, which in her world translates to money, with that one decision than anything else she’d done up to that point.

[Anonymous]

Does it seem odd to anyone else that Brandon is staying so….. public? I don’t think he should have to fade into the background and disappear necessarily; Jen doesn’t own the internet. But what’s the point of keeping his social media public and posting boob-shots of his new girlfriend - then having to police the comments constantly to delete all of the Jen fans’ hate? He could literally just set the accounts to private, and go on living a sweet, quiet life in the “real” world and be a normal person. He wasn’t the one with the Influencer title. He’s not with Legacy Collective anymore. It looks like he’s just a carpenter now. So….. what’s the point? Attention? Revenge?

[Anonymous]

Who are these people? I never heard of Jen Hatmaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it seem odd to anyone else that Brandon is staying so….. public? I don’t think he should have to fade into the background and disappear necessarily; Jen doesn’t own the internet. But what’s the point of keeping his social media public and posting boob-shots of his new girlfriend - then having to police the comments constantly to delete all of the Jen fans’ hate? He could literally just set the accounts to private, and go on living a sweet, quiet life in the “real” world and be a normal person. He wasn’t the one with the Influencer title. He’s not with Legacy Collective anymore. It looks like he’s just a carpenter now. So….. what’s the point? Attention? Revenge?

Yes to both. And to those who think that he didn't enjoy the limelight, this proves that theory false. He messed up, he understands that addiction took him down his path. He owns that path, and doesn't want to hide. On the other hand, he did enjoy the income, quasi-celebrity status, and life he had. Enjoyed it too much actually. So he's still out there hustling on his own trying to create a new version of that. Jen didn't ruin his life, he was an active, willing participant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people? I never heard of Jen Hatmaker.

If only there were a 49 page thread somewhere discussing her...

[Anonymous]

Regardless of what one thinks of Jen’s politics and theology my gosh she is thirsty. The constant I have the best friends ever, I live the dream life, look at how amazing everything is betrays deep deep insecurity. Most people have friends and have fun moments but don’t feel the constant need to share it so grossly. It’s like middle school Instagram.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what one thinks of Jen’s politics and theology my gosh she is thirsty. The constant I have the best friends ever, I live the dream life, look at how amazing everything is betrays deep deep insecurity. Most people have friends and have fun moments but don’t feel the constant need to share it so grossly. It’s like middle school Instagram.

It’s her marketing strategy.

But man did that new post about her friends annoy me.