New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by social bullying? Just wondering as I don't see school getting involved in social dynamics of the class, friend groups of boys, and so on..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by social bullying? Just wondering as I don't see school getting involved in social dynamics of the class, friend groups of boys, and so on..

This may help answer your question:

"Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships.
Social bullying includes:
Leaving someone out on purpose
Telling other children not to be friends with someone
Spreading rumors about someone
Embarrassing someone in public"

[Anonymous]

Interested in ED outcome for this class. Any news to share?

[Anonymous]

ED outcome??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interested in ED outcome for this class. Any news to share?

STA college placement always does well. Information is not public so I assume it's on a need to know basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ED outcome??

Only what I hear from murmuring moms. The usual allotment of IVy acceptances. But there were some extremely strong applicants rejected and a surprising number of shutouts from non-ivy schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by social bullying? Just wondering as I don't see school getting involved in social dynamics of the class, friend groups of boys, and so on..

This may help answer your question:

"Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships.
Social bullying includes:
Leaving someone out on purpose
Telling other children not to be friends with someone
Spreading rumors about someone
Embarrassing someone in public"

Jeez. I encounter this every day at the school, and that's just in the carpool line with other moms!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So there was a fight between two boys at an all-boys school. So what? That's just how boys resolve things sometimes. Now they'll have to deal with the consequences of their behavior, which is part of learning to be a man.

This attitude is a problem. Class of 2021 has serious problems. New LS head spoke with parents about improving tone and culture. As I see it lots of competitiveness, jealousy, over bearing parents who make excuses rather than addressing behavior, taunting and hurtful words being exchanged between boys, and some boys willing to do anything to be accepted even if that means bullying others ! It's not good... hopefully they'll all grow up before Upper School!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ED outcome??

Only what I hear from murmuring moms. The usual allotment of IVy acceptances. But there were some extremely strong applicants rejected and a surprising number of shutouts from non-ivy schools.

I don't have any knowledge of the results for this particular class at this particular school, but people should be aware that of the many elements of applying to college that have changed since "back in the day," one is that many colleges have adjusted the timing of their admissions process and do a full substantive review at the early application stage. Instead of deferring all applications that are not manifestly unqualified, more colleges are doing the full read and full decision-making process in the fall during the early admissions period. That means many more rejections to early applicants than "we all" were used to. Some schools, like Stanford, are notorious for rejecting rather than deferring, but even schools that used to routinely defer now have a higher proportion of rejections at the early stage.

[Anonymous]

Only what I hear from murmuring moms. The usual allotment of IVy acceptances. But there were some extremely strong applicants rejected and a surprising number of shutouts from non-ivy schools.

"Murmuring moms." As if we all should rely on that fake news source as reliable.

ED/EA acceptances about what should be expected given the realities of college admission, athletic recruiting etc. The only real disappointments were from several non Ivy, top schools where STA boys applied early. Otherwise the numbers overall solid, with about 15% of the class already into Ivies, and certainly more to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any impressions of 2021? My son, god willing, will be a member of that class next year as an entering 9th grader.

The 2021 class seems to be made up of a nice group of kids. The parents as a whole are also not of the insufferable variety that we have encountered with another son's class.

One person's perspective. Here is mine. There is a core group of pretty boy, jocks and popular boys. They are friendly enough. But if you are not athletic, do not expect to break into the inner circle. Things like parties and dances are just starting up for this grade. So the tension below the calm surface is about to erupt in spades.

Here's another perspective. The classes are small. Even in upper school, there will be fewer than 90 boys in a graduating class, in my son's class, substantially fewer than 90. If only the "pretty boy, jocks and popular" boys hung out together, you'd be talking a group of no more than 10 in each class. That gets boring fast. Because of the small numbers, and more to the point, because of the sense of brotherhood that STA instills, high school cliques like the ones you may have experienced simply do not exist as firm lines of demarcation between the boys. Within the class, and really within the school, the lax bros for instance embrace the less athletic mathletes. It is as advertised, a "brotherhood" for life. That alone leaves me comfortable in the fact that we are spending a boatload of money for this opportunity.

I find the truth somewhere in the middle. There's a lot of interaction and relationships that cross over various activities, and the family-style lunch with assigned seatings helps with breaking up the sort of school-day cliques that are featured in Breakfast Club type movies or many of our own memories. But it's still high school. It's easier to be "popular" if one is a handsome athlete. But that's not the only path to being respected and liked, by any means. Good place overall.

Agree with prior poster that the 2021s are made up of some very nice boys. Also agree that there is a strong sense of brotherhood, and that Breakfast Club cliques are not as perceptible as perhaps from your experience. But also agree that there is a "popular type" boy in that class, as is true throughout the school, of the handsome athlete.

What is happening now within the class of 2021, in other words the current 8th grade class, is a handful of boys who have never been a good fit for the school are, on the verge of graduating middle school and entering upper school, jockeying with increasing intensity for more acceptance and popularity. Hence a lot of name calling, social bullying and even physical altercations.

My prediction is there will be quite a few boys in that class, who will finally persuade their parents that being able to put that STA logo on their cars is just not worth all the pressure of that environment, and will depart for better fit pastures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any impressions of 2021? My son, god willing, will be a member of that class next year as an entering 9th grader.

The 2021 class seems to be made up of a nice group of kids. The parents as a whole are also not of the insufferable variety that we have encountered with another son's class.

One person's perspective. Here is mine. There is a core group of pretty boy, jocks and popular boys. They are friendly enough. But if you are not athletic, do not expect to break into the inner circle. Things like parties and dances are just starting up for this grade. So the tension below the calm surface is about to erupt in spades.

Here's another perspective. The classes are small. Even in upper school, there will be fewer than 90 boys in a graduating class, in my son's class, substantially fewer than 90. If only the "pretty boy, jocks and popular" boys hung out together, you'd be talking a group of no more than 10 in each class. That gets boring fast. Because of the small numbers, and more to the point, because of the sense of brotherhood that STA instills, high school cliques like the ones you may have experienced simply do not exist as firm lines of demarcation between the boys. Within the class, and really within the school, the lax bros for instance embrace the less athletic mathletes. It is as advertised, a "brotherhood" for life. That alone leaves me comfortable in the fact that we are spending a boatload of money for this opportunity.

I find the truth somewhere in the middle. There's a lot of interaction and relationships that cross over various activities, and the family-style lunch with assigned seatings helps with breaking up the sort of school-day cliques that are featured in Breakfast Club type movies or many of our own memories. But it's still high school. It's easier to be "popular" if one is a handsome athlete. But that's not the only path to being respected and liked, by any means. Good place overall.

Agree with prior poster that the 2021s are made up of some very nice boys. Also agree that there is a strong sense of brotherhood, and that Breakfast Club cliques are not as perceptible as perhaps from your experience. But also agree that there is a "popular type" boy in that class, as is true throughout the school, of the handsome athlete.

What is happening now within the class of 2021, in other words the current 8th grade class, is a handful of boys who have never been a good fit for the school are, on the verge of graduating middle school and entering upper school, jockeying with increasing intensity for more acceptance and popularity. Hence a lot of name calling, social bullying and even physical altercations.

My prediction is there will be quite a few boys in that class, who will finally persuade their parents that being able to put that STA logo on their cars is just not worth all the pressure of that environment, and will depart for better fit pastures.

Let me understand, you're saying these troubles are because boys don't fit in ... So the boys who fit in have the right to mistreat those you supposedly don't fit??? I'd love to know how the boys of color in the class of 2021 are surviving? We are applying for 9th grade so this is all very interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any impressions of 2021? My son, god willing, will be a member of that class next year as an entering 9th grader.

The 2021 class seems to be made up of a nice group of kids. The parents as a whole are also not of the insufferable variety that we have encountered with another son's class.

One person's perspective. Here is mine. There is a core group of pretty boy, jocks and popular boys. They are friendly enough. But if you are not athletic, do not expect to break into the inner circle. Things like parties and dances are just starting up for this grade. So the tension below the calm surface is about to erupt in spades.

Here's another perspective. The classes are small. Even in upper school, there will be fewer than 90 boys in a graduating class, in my son's class, substantially fewer than 90. If only the "pretty boy, jocks and popular" boys hung out together, you'd be talking a group of no more than 10 in each class. That gets boring fast. Because of the small numbers, and more to the point, because of the sense of brotherhood that STA instills, high school cliques like the ones you may have experienced simply do not exist as firm lines of demarcation between the boys. Within the class, and really within the school, the lax bros for instance embrace the less athletic mathletes. It is as advertised, a "brotherhood" for life. That alone leaves me comfortable in the fact that we are spending a boatload of money for this opportunity.

I find the truth somewhere in the middle. There's a lot of interaction and relationships that cross over various activities, and the family-style lunch with assigned seatings helps with breaking up the sort of school-day cliques that are featured in Breakfast Club type movies or many of our own memories. But it's still high school. It's easier to be "popular" if one is a handsome athlete. But that's not the only path to being respected and liked, by any means. Good place overall.

Agree with prior poster that the 2021s are made up of some very nice boys. Also agree that there is a strong sense of brotherhood, and that Breakfast Club cliques are not as perceptible as perhaps from your experience. But also agree that there is a "popular type" boy in that class, as is true throughout the school, of the handsome athlete.

What is happening now within the class of 2021, in other words the current 8th grade class, is a handful of boys who have never been a good fit for the school are, on the verge of graduating middle school and entering upper school, jockeying with increasing intensity for more acceptance and popularity. Hence a lot of name calling, social bullying and even physical altercations.

My prediction is there will be quite a few boys in that class, who will finally persuade their parents that being able to put that STA logo on their cars is just not worth all the pressure of that environment, and will depart for better fit pastures.

Let me understand, you're saying these troubles are because boys don't fit in ... So the boys who fit in have the right to mistreat those you supposedly don't fit??? I'd love to know how the boys of color in the class of 2021 are surviving? We are applying for 9th grade so this is all very interesting.

That's right: the mother of the previous post dismisses the nasty attitude of her "popular" son toward those who look like they may be finally coming into their own as warranted. The truth is, her once "popular" son is shaking in his boots as he realizes that not everything in life will continue to be handed to him on a silver platter. Trust me, there is a handful of boys in this grade with very wealthy parents and no clue of exactly what they have earned versus what's simply been handed to them. Their king of the hills status is on the rocks and mom thinks the best way to help is to get those boys who may be threatening it "counseled out" "for fit." Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any impressions of 2021? My son, god willing, will be a member of that class next year as an entering 9th grader.

The 2021 class seems to be made up of a nice group of kids. The parents as a whole are also not of the insufferable variety that we have encountered with another son's class.

One person's perspective. Here is mine. There is a core group of pretty boy, jocks and popular boys. They are friendly enough. But if you are not athletic, do not expect to break into the inner circle. Things like parties and dances are just starting up for this grade. So the tension below the calm surface is about to erupt in spades.

Here's another perspective. The classes are small. Even in upper school, there will be fewer than 90 boys in a graduating class, in my son's class, substantially fewer than 90. If only the "pretty boy, jocks and popular" boys hung out together, you'd be talking a group of no more than 10 in each class. That gets boring fast. Because of the small numbers, and more to the point, because of the sense of brotherhood that STA instills, high school cliques like the ones you may have experienced simply do not exist as firm lines of demarcation between the boys. Within the class, and really within the school, the lax bros for instance embrace the less athletic mathletes. It is as advertised, a "brotherhood" for life. That alone leaves me comfortable in the fact that we are spending a boatload of money for this opportunity.

I find the truth somewhere in the middle. There's a lot of interaction and relationships that cross over various activities, and the family-style lunch with assigned seatings helps with breaking up the sort of school-day cliques that are featured in Breakfast Club type movies or many of our own memories. But it's still high school. It's easier to be "popular" if one is a handsome athlete. But that's not the only path to being respected and liked, by any means. Good place overall.

Agree with prior poster that the 2021s are made up of some very nice boys. Also agree that there is a strong sense of brotherhood, and that Breakfast Club cliques are not as perceptible as perhaps from your experience. But also agree that there is a "popular type" boy in that class, as is true throughout the school, of the handsome athlete.

What is happening now within the class of 2021, in other words the current 8th grade class, is a handful of boys who have never been a good fit for the school are, on the verge of graduating middle school and entering upper school, jockeying with increasing intensity for more acceptance and popularity. Hence a lot of name calling, social bullying and even physical altercations.

My prediction is there will be quite a few boys in that class, who will finally persuade their parents that being able to put that STA logo on their cars is just not worth all the pressure of that environment, and will depart for better fit pastures.

Let me understand, you're saying these troubles are because boys don't fit in ... So the boys who fit in have the right to mistreat those you supposedly don't fit??? I'd love to know how the boys of color in the class of 2021 are surviving? We are applying for 9th grade so this is all very interesting.

That's right: the mother of the previous post dismisses the nasty attitude of her "popular" son toward those who look like they may be finally coming into their own as warranted. The truth is, her once "popular" son is shaking in his boots as he realizes that not everything in life will continue to be handed to him on a silver platter. Trust me, there is a handful of boys in this grade with very wealthy parents and no clue of exactly what they have earned versus what's simply been handed to them. Their king of the hills status is on the rocks and mom thinks the best way to help is to get those boys who may be threatening it "counseled out" "for fit." Please.

Holy Moly. Are there really parents (mothers) who think like this? I know: What rock did I just crawl out from under.

[Anonymous]

I think people need to get out of the middle school mindset (who is popular, who isn't) and think like parents again. Try to remember your own challenges in 8th grade -- were you your "nicest self" at that age? (If you were, God Bless.) One of the reasons great middle school teachers are worth their weight in gold is that 8th grade is a tough time for kids as they are in the midst of adolescent changes. Active hormones, changing ideas of self, doubts about fitting in, etc. And not everyone will be hitting adolescence at the same time, either.

St. Albans doesn't do a lot of "counseling out" students and there's generally not a great deal of attrition even from the Lower School to the Upper School. Some families will use what is a natural transition point to consider co-ed, public, boarding school options, and that is healthy. Many, after looking into other options, decide to stay put.