Wife won't leave

[Anonymous]

DW has been having an affair with a co worker for several months. She said it was over and I believed her but she confided in friends when drunk that it was continuing and they told me. I have also found diaries of where she talks about the sex she has with the guy at work and how satisfied he makes her.
We have a child who is 5 and although DW is pretending everything is fine, he is regressing in his behavior and getting in trouble at school.
After talks with my brother I need her to leave the family home yet she has said she will refuse to go. She also has a drink problem and I strongly suspect she drinks and drives. I am trying to stay calm but I just don't know what to do next. Can anyone advise? I am losing weight, can't sleep and keep breaking down in tears at work.

[Anonymous]

Take your child and leave. File for divorce and force her to sell the house.

[Anonymous]

Just say "Shoo! Go on and git!!"

[Anonymous]

Don't just take the child and run OP, see a lawyer and discuss your options so you do it the right way and don't get charged with kidnapping or some such. I'm really sorry you are going through all of this.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP. You need to talk to a lawyer stat.

[Anonymous]

Can you afford the family home in your own? If yes, notify her in writing that you are officially separating. Move to a different bedroom, and tell at least one witness. Begin your one year of waiting before you can file.

Or... if her friends will testify she is having an affair, or you have evidence, file immediately on grounds of adultery. Have her served. Ask for the house in the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Talk to a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

She’s probably talked to a lawyer who told her not to leave. And her cheating won’t count against her in a bid for custody.

Pick up ALL slack in parenting, and document it. Insist on a separation agreement that frames a temp custody order, and that is agreeable to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say "Shoo! Go on and git!!"

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s probably talked to a lawyer who told her not to leave. And her cheating won’t count against her in a bid for custody.

Pick up ALL slack in parenting, and document it. Insist on a separation agreement that frames a temp custody order, and that is agreeable to you.

OP, this is going to suck for a while. Your kid needs you. Think about nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s probably talked to a lawyer who told her not to leave. And her cheating won’t count against her in a bid for custody.

Pick up ALL slack in parenting, and document it. Insist on a separation agreement that frames a temp custody order, and that is agreeable to you.

Unfortunately, this PP is right. She has surely been advised that she's going to get custody of your child even if she's the one cheating.

Get a very experienced lawyer who has represented fathers against mothers. (And I say this as a woman myself. You need a tough lawyer who will be aggressive with her lawyer.)

Document EVERYTHING, never do anything (like agree on who gets your child when) on a handshake, and whatever you do, find some way to ensure your child is never being driven by her if you suspect she drinks. That would be my No. 1 fear, that she would drive your child somewhere while drunk.

I'm so sorry. Fight hard for custody and like PP says, ensure that you are doing all parenting tasks and have evidence of that. But most of all, lawyer up NOW and don't say yes to anything "just between us, without bringing courts into it."

[Anonymous]

After halfhearted attempts to get me to move out, my cheating wife left me with the kids to be with her affair partner.

I would carefully assess the situation and if you have the ability, power through it.

You may look back and realize you are in a great position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s probably talked to a lawyer who told her not to leave. And her cheating won’t count against her in a bid for custody.

Pick up ALL slack in parenting, and document it. Insist on a separation agreement that frames a temp custody order, and that is agreeable to you.

But drinking and driving might.

[Anonymous]

Make sure she gets custody or your life will get really hard.

[Anonymous]

In MD you could kick her out.

Get a lawyer.