Wife won't leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am not clear how you could take the kids anywhere and move them to a new residence without your spouse' consent if you were still married at the time/

Let me be clear on that. I DID NOT have the consent of my spouse. You are mistaken if you think I needed it. I didn't leave the state and I didn't hide them from her. At that point I was just as much their custodial parent as her. I did this with the full knowledge of my attorney and what he was going to be facing come Monday morning.

There are no laws forcing a family to stay intact. Have you never heard of a woman leaving the home with her kids? Happens all the time, right? Does this only surprise you because it was a man?

One factor I didn't mention is that both kids were old enough to tell anyone who asked that they wanted to live with me, and not her, along with their reasons. So you could also say that I moved out, and they decided to come with me. Either way, it all worked out. I didn't sit around in a highly volatile household waiting for bad things to happen while letting attorneys and others who profit from the fallout tell me what to do.

If you were both married at the time, you were both custodial parents. I may not understand your situation fully, but it sounds like you unilaterally assumed custody of children. Otherwise what would stop your wife from moving into the new place with you? If you aren't divorced, any residence is marital residence. If there is no custody agreement in place, you cannot keep the kids from her (and they cannot keep from her either.). If it worked out, good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Maryland, does it hurt you if you move out and leave a spouse and kid behind? My Ex did this, and I’m wondering if my lawyer should have worked this angle.

Worked this angle how? Someone has to move out eventually. What did you expect him to do?

OP would be on the other side of this if he just ups and leaves without the kids. Will a judge penalize him wrt alimony, child support, splitting assets, or something else? Does his wife have anything to gain if she can show abandonment?

No. There is no “abandonment” if one person moves out in order to initiate or continue a required one year separation. What in the world are you all talking about.

You seem to be assuming 1). They have a signed agreement in place 2) that there are no legal consequences if the guy moves out.

This is the question for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am not clear how you could take the kids anywhere and move them to a new residence without your spouse' consent if you were still married at the time/

Let me be clear on that. I DID NOT have the consent of my spouse. You are mistaken if you think I needed it. I didn't leave the state and I didn't hide them from her. At that point I was just as much their custodial parent as her. I did this with the full knowledge of my attorney and what he was going to be facing come Monday morning.

There are no laws forcing a family to stay intact. Have you never heard of a woman leaving the home with her kids? Happens all the time, right? Does this only surprise you because it was a man?

One factor I didn't mention is that both kids were old enough to tell anyone who asked that they wanted to live with me, and not her, along with their reasons. So you could also say that I moved out, and they decided to come with me. Either way, it all worked out. I didn't sit around in a highly volatile household waiting for bad things to happen while letting attorneys and others who profit from the fallout tell me what to do.

If you were both married at the time, you were both custodial parents. I may not understand your situation fully, but it sounds like you unilaterally assumed custody of children. Otherwise what would stop your wife from moving into the new place with you? If you aren't divorced, any residence is marital residence. If there is no custody agreement in place, you cannot keep the kids from her (and they cannot keep from her either.). If it worked out, good for you.

-"If you were both married at the time, you were both custodial parents. I may not understand your situation fully, but it sounds like you unilaterally assumed custody of children."

You are correct on both counts. I needed to get them away from her so I put them first. I was not concerned about the consequences or her parental rights.

-"Otherwise what would stop your wife from moving into the new place with you? If you aren't divorced, any residence is marital residence."
That's funny to think about now, but of course you are right. She didn't want to move in with us in a small apartment. She wanted to keep my house, free and clear, while I paid the mortgage, alimony, and child support. As it is, she got to live there, with her loser boyfriend, for months while I paid the mortgage. Once I'd had enough and needed to resolve this while I was bleeding money, I did kinda what you said. I informed her we were all moving back in and anyone I find in my house who doesn't belong there (boyfriend and a renter) will be thrown out the same day. That really forced her hand and again, I didn't ask my attorney for permission, advice, or his blessing. I simply told him what I was doing. Everything I did I could have done without an attorney.

-"If there is no custody agreement in place, you cannot keep the kids from her (and they cannot keep from her either.)."
Legally speaking I could not keep them from her. Again, I didn't care. Also, I didn't skip town and disappear. She could call them and knew where they were. She could still visit them (although they had some say in that), or attend their activities.

-"If it worked out, good for you."
Thank you. It worked out great. No regrets at all and I highly recommend it to men in certain circumstances although I've never heard of one doing it. Guys will whine and complain, get lots of sympathy, but don't have the balls to step up and do what's right. Many woman in the same situation have no problem moving out with the children but men believe they can't do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Maryland, does it hurt you if you move out and leave a spouse and kid behind? My Ex did this, and I’m wondering if my lawyer should have worked this angle.

Worked this angle how? Someone has to move out eventually. What did you expect him to do?

OP would be on the other side of this if he just ups and leaves without the kids. Will a judge penalize him wrt alimony, child support, splitting assets, or something else? Does his wife have anything to gain if she can show abandonment?

No. There is no “abandonment” if one person moves out in order to initiate or continue a required one year separation. What in the world are you all talking about.

This is true in Howard County. I left without the kids but was constantly trying to see them, with DW blocking any access. Meanwhile my lawyer was pushing for an immediate hearing and sending letters to DW's lawyer trying to set up mediation or a parenting plan. When the judge saw that the other side was unresponsive to all this, and that I had witnesses who testified that ex was blocking my access to the children, the judge said, "Not abandonment, and it looks like the mother is gate keeping." It was all downhill for her from there. She didn't get the house, or alimony, or custody.

You ladies need to update your playbooks. Judges are onto your old tricks of driving a father away from the home and his children, and then shrieking "Abandonment!"