Disappointed in young adult aged child

[Anonymous]

My son may be the very first to graduate college in our entire family. He is a very bright student who got all a’s in school and has been on the Deans list every semester in college. Going into college he had dreams to get his undergrad degree in business and then go to Northwestern for his MBA. He is 20 and a junior at major southern school with a basketball scholarship. He’s a valuable player and has been talking to recruiters, he’s considering going to play for a professional team. He is considering not finishing his senior year and I’m so angry. I know he is an adult but he has so
Many amazing opportunities and I know the business degree will work in his favor in the long run. I love my son and he is talented but I don’t see him as a big shot professional basketball player. He is good, but...why? It would last a few years and he may barely be in the court and all that work, the degree would be gone and I’d fear he’d never go back.

He has a chance to change the world and be something special, I can’t seem to talk any sense into him.

[Anonymous]

He can go back to school after he plays a few years/retires/gets injured. He can’t do it the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can go back to school after he plays a few years/retires/gets injured. He can’t do it the other way around.

And very likely his undergraduate school would let him come back to finish the final credits after his NBA career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He can go back to school after he plays a few years/retires/gets injured. He can’t do it the other way around.

And very likely his undergraduate school would let him come back to finish the final credits after his NBA career.

Agree. OP, he can go back to college any time.

[Anonymous]

It's a really unique and special opportunity. He can go back and finish his degree. And I'm being very serious when I say that business degrees (even MBAs) are a dime a dozen but a guy who can say he played professional basketball is going to kill it in interviews.

If it really bothers you that you think he's not going to finish school, ask him if he'll promise to get his degree. Shaq made the same promise to his mom and went back and finished after his career -- and ended up with a Ph.D. in education!

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm really sorry this is tough for you. I have a kid who puts so much effort into basketball, works really hard, and has big dreams; he loves it with every fiber of his being. I'd be thrilled if he ever got an opportunity like this, absolutely thrilled. The truth is, the likelihood of this happening are extremely low so it's unlikely this will ever happen for my kid.

Plenty of athletes and actors have gone back to school to finish their degrees, that opportunity will always be there for him. But this opportunity most likely will not present itself again.

To maintain such a high GPA and maintain his scholarship AND have recruiters looking at him. Wow, I'd be beaming with pride. You should be very proud, sounds like he has an incredible work ethic and ambition. I know a college degree would be a first for your family, but not many people can say they have a child who played in the NBA. Even if he never plays, to even be considered good enough for it is rare!

Best of luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Having an MBA from Northwestern won’ t set him apart. Having played professional ball will.

[Anonymous]

Get rich quick and get your own reality show or MTV cribs? Then go back to school but by then he may just get an honorary doctorate.

[Anonymous]

He can always go back to school in a couple of years. The time to take impossible chances is now. Sounds like an exciting opportunity for him!

[Anonymous]

Don't freak out yet. The NBA (NFL etc.) all have off seasons. It is fairly common in the NFL for guys to leave college a year early but then take classes every off season until they finish. If it can be done in football, no reason it can't be done in basketball. So he WILL get his college degree, but it's just that if he has 2 semesters left, instead of taking 1 more calendar year -- it'll take more like 2 yrs (bc he'd be going a semester at a time in the off season). He's so young - is 2 yrs the end of the world?

As for the MBA-- I'm sure you're aware that to get into a top b-school like Northwestern or others, you need work experience. Everyone applying has done 2-5 yrs in ibanking, consulting, corporate. Your DS would have something TOTALLY different. That sets his applications apart right there. (And he can also pick up a more traditional job for 1-2 yrs after the NBA and THEN apply so he has NBA + regular work experience.)

And MOST importantly -- I assume going to b school, he wants to do something in finance (not necessarily - but a lot of the Northwestern crowd ends up in IB, PE, trading, equity research etc.) These fields are like 95+% guys. Believe me when I tell you college athletes get a HUGE leg up in recruiting -- bc every associate/partner/managing director that interviews them dreams of what it would have been like if they were the college sports stud and thinks these guys are awesome for having done it. I went to Penn -- a nothing sports school, and guys on the wrestling team with relatively bad grades were getting offers left and right (while their peers with great grades were sweating it out for offers) bc guys interviewing them were SO impressed with the fact that they balanced sports + school. So if COLLEGE D1 gets SUCH an advantage -- can you imagine the advantage PROFESSIONAL players get?

If he gets drafted by any NBA team at any level, he should go for it. It is a RARE opportunity -- to be a star or to be a bench warmer -- and it'll set him up for his professional career more than you realize right now.

[Anonymous]

My father-in-law (a dean at a school abroad)once advised a kid like yours to drop out and just give the professional experience a try. He promised the student he could come back.

Guess what? He never came back because he had a twenty year career as a ball player, was seriously successful, and in his country was very well-known.

OP, just let your kid give it his all. It will work out.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get where you're coming from. What you need to do is be supportive of your son and guide him away from the pitfalls. For example, tell him he needs to not fall into the trap of living LARGE because he starts making money. Encourage him to save and spend wisely because you never know if an injury is around the corner. Warn him he'll have easy access to drugs and he needs to prepare to avoid that. Have him promise you to go back to school. There are many people with MBAs who struggle financially. They are a dime a dozen. You and he will regret passing up this once in a lifetime opportunity. You can guide him to do this the right way. No blinged out jewelry, no $200,000 car, no living like a rock start. That's what he needs most now, support and guidance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get where you're coming from. What you need to do is be supportive of your son and guide him away from the pitfalls. For example, tell him he needs to not fall into the trap of living LARGE because he starts making money. Encourage him to save and spend wisely because you never know if an injury is around the corner. Warn him he'll have easy access to drugs and he needs to prepare to avoid that. Have him promise you to go back to school. There are many people with MBAs who struggle financially. They are a dime a dozen. You and he will regret passing up this once in a lifetime opportunity. You can guide him to do this the right way. No blinged out jewelry, no $200,000 car, no living like a rock start. That's what he needs most now, support and guidance.

Unless he ends up being a super star (in which case why does an MBA even matter?) -- the avg NBA player ends up having a 4 yr contract/career. Sure they get paid well in that first 4 yr contract but it is in the hundreds of thousands for most guys, not millions; so if he doesn't live large and just lives like a regular guy -- he can walk out of the MBA with a few hundred thousand in investments/b school tuition ready to go. After that many will bounce around the practiced squads, go play Europe etc. But for a guy like OP's DS -- he'll have a college degree (having done it in the off season) and can be applying to b-school; he'll be like 27ish at that time which is very much the avg age of people entering schools like Northwestern. This doesn't set him back at all.

[Anonymous]

If you discourage him from playing and he doesn't do it, he could always have regrets of not trying and possibly feel resentment toward you. Don't risk that. He's not thinking of doing something unsafe or illegal. Let him make his decision. Be proud of him. He sounds like a smart talented young man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get where you're coming from. What you need to do is be supportive of your son and guide him away from the pitfalls. For example, tell him he needs to not fall into the trap of living LARGE because he starts making money. Encourage him to save and spend wisely because you never know if an injury is around the corner. Warn him he'll have easy access to drugs and he needs to prepare to avoid that. Have him promise you to go back to school. There are many people with MBAs who struggle financially. They are a dime a dozen. You and he will regret passing up this once in a lifetime opportunity. You can guide him to do this the right way. No blinged out jewelry, no $200,000 car, no living like a rock start. That's what he needs most now, support and guidance.

Unless he ends up being a super star (in which case why does an MBA even matter?) -- the avg NBA player ends up having a 4 yr contract/career. Sure they get paid well in that first 4 yr contract but it is in the hundreds of thousands for most guys, not millions; so if he doesn't live large and just lives like a regular guy -- he can walk out of the MBA with a few hundred thousand in investments/b school tuition ready to go. After that many will bounce around the practiced squads, go play Europe etc. But for a guy like OP's DS -- he'll have a college degree (having done it in the off season) and can be applying to b-school; he'll be like 27ish at that time which is very much the avg age of people entering schools like Northwestern. This doesn't set him back at all.

??? Did you read the post you're replying to?