Disappointed in young adult aged child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you discourage him from playing and he doesn't do it, he could always have regrets of not trying and possibly feel resentment toward you. Don't risk that. He's not thinking of doing something unsafe or illegal. Let him make his decision. Be proud of him. He sounds like a smart talented young man.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can go back to school after he plays a few years/retires/gets injured. He can’t do it the other way around.

+1. He can go back and finish once he is done with basketball. There were many "second career" people in my law school - dancer, musician, etc. For professional degrees like MBAs and law schools, it is not a bad thing to be more mature and have more real world experience.

[Anonymous]

Let him do this, OP. And, try to make sure he has good people around him. You already know he’s smart so he can always finish his degree later since it seems like he only has a year of credits left. The last thing you wan is for him to resent you for preventing him from fulfilling a life long dream. This is his moment in time.

[Anonymous]

Let him make his decision. You influence him and it will be your fault for the rest of his life that he didn't pursue his dream. Many athletes made the same decision, some made it, some didn't. What you are trying to do is clip his wings, but he has to fly on his own, wrong or right path, you should support him.

[Anonymous]

And make sure he knows he has your support, no matter what. Have him talk to the Dean, many will allow return to college for top athletes without tuition even, I know several cases. Work out a plan for him to take whatever opportunity is offered to eventually finish college. I am a mom like you, why go for the golden egg, that you might get, when you can have a great career with a degree with mostly predictable safe future, right? I married young, and there were some issues in my home country and I left college there. My mom made sure I knew that no matter where in the world, with whom I am, my parents will always be there for me, and to come back home if I had no money, marriage turned bad, she asked for nothing. She did ask me to do the best I can to finish my college degree. I did. Talk to your DS(no matter that he is adult, he is still very much a child) and explore how can he finish his degree and turn pro. It seems that so far you have done a great job raising your son, I have no doubt that you will continue to be his biggest supporter and be the rock he needs, now maybe more than ever.

[Anonymous]

Have your husband, coach or a male role model talk to your son about being careful of the hoochies or baller hoes. I’m sorry if I am offending anyone but they can be just as risky as the drugs or other temptations for younger athletes entering professional sports. They can get him off track and if they think there’s a potential big payday, they will try to get pregnant and he will be on the hook for child support. There are enough “reality” shows and tabloid fodder but having the talk upfront about avoiding them and wearing protection is critical, OP.

[Anonymous]

I am a former Div 1 B-Ball player. I played in the mid 80's. I had a great junior season, and was told I would be late #1 or early #2 round player. But, I decided to stay and earn my degree (in a real major).

While taking a class over the summer in field geology, I was sliding down a pile of rubble/broken rock when a vine caught my leg. I ended up blowing my knee and ending my round-ball career.

I do not know if I would have made the NBA. If I had, I would have made far more money in a year than I make in a decade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a former Div 1 B-Ball player. I played in the mid 80's. I had a great junior season, and was told I would be late #1 or early #2 round player. But, I decided to stay and earn my degree (in a real major).

While taking a class over the summer in field geology, I was sliding down a pile of rubble/broken rock when a vine caught my leg. I ended up blowing my knee and ending my round-ball career.

I do not know if I would have made the NBA. If I had, I would have made far more money in a year than I make in a decade.

I am sorry this happened to you and ended your playing days but why would you take risks like this that could result in a serious injury? This seemed to have been under your control unlike getting injured in a game or practice. I thought you were going to advise OP to warn her son about not engaging in activities that may create risks of serious injuries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a really unique and special opportunity. He can go back and finish his degree. And I'm being very serious when I say that business degrees (even MBAs) are a dime a dozen but a guy who can say he played professional basketball is going to kill it in interviews.

If it really bothers you that you think he's not going to finish school, ask him if he'll promise to get his degree. Shaq made the same promise to his mom and went back and finished after his career -- and ended up with a Ph.D. in education!

+1
It sounds like you have raised a wonderful son! To expand on a point made earlier, lots of young adults take time off during their undergrad years and even more so between undergrad and getting their MBAs. His real world experience will be an asset and will hopefully make him more mature when he returns to school. But make sure you get that promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He can go back to school after he plays a few years/retires/gets injured. He can’t do it the other way around.

And very likely his undergraduate school would let him come back to finish the final credits after his NBA career.

Agree. OP, he can go back to college any time.

Yup....the guarantees of college aint what they used to be. Diversify the portfolio of opportunities. I had a classmate who had dropped out from high school and went back and became successful attorney, I have known many people with many credentials who are still struggling with gainful employment in the mid 30s. Just as long as he goes hard in in endeavors.

[Anonymous]

Almost 80 percent of pros in NFL and NBA end up piss poor.

Give him the facts- including that he is not going to have a college scholarship when b-ball is over. Then let him make his decision.

[Anonymous]

You should have thought about this when you agreed to send him to a major southern school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having an MBA from Northwestern won’ t set him apart. Having played professional ball will.

Adding to this...having played professional ball and then finishing his degree after that WILL! You definitely need to get behind him on this, OP. But he needs to see it as ENTHUSIASM from you, not disappointment. Tell him your support is for the BIG PICTURE! Basketball alone is not his future. Basketball plus a plan to leverage that unique experience into open doors along with his future degree is what you are excited about for him!

[Anonymous]

"I spent four years playing in the NBA" is a hell of a personal statement opener on a grad school or business school application, OP.

Let him turn this experience into a springboard for future success! It doesn't have to be a change in direction, just a detour in the journey. And as soon as he signs on the dotted line, make an appointment for him to go see a competent financial advisor so that he doesn't end up blowing through his income as fast as it comes in.

[Anonymous]

"I spent four years playing basketball in the NBA" is a hell of a personal statement opener on a grad school or business school application, OP.

Support this detour and give him the big picture. What a fabulous opportunity that will still lead him to a successful career path. Set him up with a financial advisor and ask him to talk to the Dean. He can make it work...