Scary truth about what is our hurting our kids..

[Anonymous]

This article is dead on. The graphs are sad. No denying that the start of iphones (not cell phones) has had such a negative effect on kids. We continue to deny it or rationalize it, but the reality is right there. It is one thing to have a phone for safety. It is another to have a smart phone with text, social media, and glued to them all day.

https://www.yourmodernfamily.com/scary-truth-whats-hurting-kids/

Thoughts?

I know I personally wish we could go back and offer teens basic phones. They can still have a computer for homework and yes even email, and some social media. But the smart phone? No. It has been terrible. 16yr old isn’t even that bad. Great kid. Good grades. No bully or social issues. But it creates a tense teenhood that is 24/7. And I miss more teen socialization.

My 8yr old in 3rd grade? 7 kids in her class have their own iPhones. It is getting worse

[Anonymous]

Phones are devices. Maybe instead of blaming the phone, you should step up your parenting and monitor the devices and have more family time.

[Anonymous]

The question is who is providing the phones to the kids? If it's anything besides the kids buying the phones for themselves then you have to point the finger at the parents.

[Anonymous]

My kid is one of his only friends without a Smartphone. 6th grader/12 years old. Many of his friends have iPhone X and iPhone 8.

My son can text and call on his phone and minimal ability to search. Very old phone. It serves it's purpose to be able to let him know if he needs to use his key because I'm not home when he gets home from school.

My kid just throws it down when he gets home and doesn't really look at it. He will arrange play dates on it. Sometimes talk to his friend that is now at a different middle school.

The phone always stays on counter downstairs where all of us charge the phones.

I have long read the studies connecting depression and poor self-esteem and ability to concentrate, etc. from the hours spent on iphones.

His parents don't do social media, but are very social people. We try to model smart internet behavior, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Phones are devices. Maybe instead of blaming the phone, you should step up your parenting and monitor the devices and have more family time.

This.

I think it's totally crazy to blame technology for the fact that parents aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing.

My 12 year old has an iPhone. He does not touch it from the moment he starts breakfast until he gets home from school each day. He carries with him in case of emergency (my choice, he'd rather just leave it home). He isn't addicted to it, it doesn't interfere with his grades or his extra curriculars, his relationship with us or his sister, or his responsibilities at home.

And all of that said, he's an introvert with some special needs so I don't feel the need to shove him back outside to play with the neighbors after school every day when what he needs is some downtime to decompress.

[Anonymous]

I am pp. I wanted to add that this year my son's reading for pleasure took off. We have an electronics limit and when he gets a book he likes, he can't put it down. It was my husband that really cracked the whip on time limits, etc. I was the lazy one when I needed to get work done.

I have seen a remarkable change and both kids are back to having their nose in books constantly when they aren't playing outside or at a sports' practice. I am constantly being asked to order books and one requested a book light so he could read in the car on the way home from practice.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is social media more so than phones. My nephew has an iPhone but isn't on Snapchat or Instagram or Facebook or Twitter and isn't preoccupied with getting likes/hits/friends.
He's not

[Anonymous]

Remember the days when rock music and dancing were really bad for kids?

Stop. This is the world we live in now.

[Anonymous]

My teen doesn't have a cell phone.

What's your excuse, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember the days when rock music and dancing were really bad for kids?

Stop. This is the world we live in now.

This attitude is a real problem. Those of us who do parent responsibly when it comes to smartphones (delaying their introduction, limiting screen time, monitoring usage, etc) are forced to do so knowing that it will lead to our kid feeling left out because unfortunately, most parents don't do any of that. Just throwing your hands up and saying, "That's the world we live in," exacerbates the problem.

Does it ever give you pause to think about how the tech giants who create this technology frequently shield their own children from it?

[Anonymous]

Parents need to lead by example. Next time you're out at dinner, I dare you to find a table that's a family with teens where the parents and teens aren't all on their phones from the moment they are seated. It's really rare.

I saw a family this weekend that could have been 4 strangers eating together, there was that little chatting. The kids had earbuds in and were watching videos on their phones all through dinner. The parents put their phones down to order and then were right back on until their meals came.

We have a no devices at dinner rule and that applies when we're out of the house. The only exception is if we're at dinner for a special occasion and want to take a photo, but even that is very rare. As soon as they got phones, sensible rules were put in place. When the rules were broken, phones were taken away. So many of my kid's friend's parents are afraid to take away phones as punishment. "But what if there's an emergency! How will they reach me?" If your teen isn't capable of functioning in the world without a phone for a few days, you've got major issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My teen doesn't have a cell phone.

What's your excuse, OP?

Humm...ok, so your point is what? How sad if they have an emergency they cannot contact you or someone for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents need to lead by example. Next time you're out at dinner, I dare you to find a table that's a family with teens where the parents and teens aren't all on their phones from the moment they are seated. It's really rare.

I saw a family this weekend that could have been 4 strangers eating together, there was that little chatting. The kids had earbuds in and were watching videos on their phones all through dinner. The parents put their phones down to order and then were right back on until their meals came.

We have a no devices at dinner rule and that applies when we're out of the house. The only exception is if we're at dinner for a special occasion and want to take a photo, but even that is very rare. As soon as they got phones, sensible rules were put in place. When the rules were broken, phones were taken away. So many of my kid's friend's parents are afraid to take away phones as punishment. "But what if there's an emergency! How will they reach me?" If your teen isn't capable of functioning in the world without a phone for a few days, you've got major issues.

You can chat with your kids other times beyond dinner. Meal time isn't the only time to be together.

[Anonymous]

Why is is tied to iphones? What can iphones do that other smart phones can't that is hurting our kids?

[Anonymous]

Completely agree with OP - article is dead on. The statistics are no surprise. I would like to see more studies and stats on the correlation between iPhones and mental health. This is a huge topic and a huge problem.
There is also a real dilemma for parents. We don’t want our kids to be social outcasts BUT we don’t want them getting sucked into the toxic world of constant internet connection, social media etc. Taking away (or not providing) smartphones is unfortunately NOT realistic, especially by the high school years.
Middle schoolers should be able to handle a phone but perhaps with very limited access to the internet and social media. My idea is to begin with a lot of limits - control data, content and even time spent on phone. Then give more access as your child can properly handle it.
There should ALWAYS be limits to time spent on screens. And “place” or situational limits - for example no screens at the dinner table. No whipping out the phone when you are having a conversation with someone! This is very difficult for many adults as well as teens. We are all losing our ability to interact with others, adults included. It’s sad.
Oh and elementary school age kids have absolutely no need for a smartphone. That simply should not be allowed.