| I am 35 with 3 children and very bad with money. I can't figure out how to change the cycle. I have CC debt of $13,000 at 5.4% .. my husband is 37 and just defers to me to do bills/finances. We have the savings but I don't want use it to pay off the CC because I am afraid I will just then let it rack back up. Right now it is maxed out so I can't do any more damage. If I do pay it off how can I ensure that I won't let it happen again .. any advice. |
| Cut it up?!? Seems obvious. |
| Pay it off and cancel/cut up the credit card is the tried and true answer. |
| And maybe your dH should get involved since you are so bad with money. |
| Does your husband know the situation and is he willing to help? My brother just divorced and hidden financial issues (eg credit cards she got without telling him, debt he didn’t know about etc) plates a factor. |
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If you want to dig yourself out of a financial hole, you have to spend less than you make. It really is as simple as that.
Do you have an emergency fund of 6 months of living expenses? You should have that to start. You should also have 1-2k in a “life happens” find, for when your car breaks down, you need a plumber, etc. Follow Dave Ramaeys Baby Steps. They are a good place to start. Realize when you pay interest, you really pay 2-3 times the value of the original item than if you bought it straight with cash. Also realize that if you do not save for retirement, you may be working a lot longer than you really want to. |
+1 |
| 13000 at 4.5% is your debt, not just 13000. Pay off half one month and the other half the next month, but get rid of it. Switch to debit or AMEX. |
Oops 5.4, not 4.5 - worse than I thought! |
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OP here .. I realize this is stupid but I am nervous to cut it up as I have 3 kids and no emergency fund .. but I guess having it maxed out is the same thing as not having it since I can't add to it if I needed to.
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1. Don't label yourself "bad with money." There's no innate "bad with money" trait--you just haven't to this point wanted to take the responsibility for your family's financial well-being. But it sounds like you know you need to. Saying you are bad with money is a way to avoid being an adult about it. Most of us would like to spend more than we make, just like most of us would like to eat more ice cream than we should--we have to decide not to and then develop a plan that mitigates our bad habits in advance. You sound like you are trying to do this by not paying it off, but that will likely just put you in a place where you spend down your savings AND have credit card debt that you are paying interest on (and interest rates are on the rise so now is a good time to pay it down!). You're not addressing the real issue.
2. Leave 1K in your savings and pay the rest to your credit card. Ask the credit card company to reduce your credit limit to $500 whatever is left after you pay it off. If you pay it off entirely, put the limit at 1K or get rid of it completely. 2. Switch to a cash/checking approach to 99.9% of your finances. Have automatically at least 10% of incoming funds sent to savings to rebuild your savings after paying off the credit. Budget and monitor the rest. You can't spend what you don't have. 3. If you think you need to, cut up the card. Some people put their credit card in a freezer to help them remember to be more conscious about using it. If you need a credit card for some things (e.g., automatic payments) or would prefer to have it for emergency use. Set the card to autopay to pay in full each month and then put a date on your calendar before it's due to review transactions on it and confirm your bank account has the funds. This will help build the habit of responsible credit use. 4. Just decide that you will ALWAYS pay the card in full each month. That's just what happens. |
If you pay off your card, you then have the credit available if a real emergency happens during the time you need to build up your emergency fund and savings again. If you sit on your savings and don't pay the card, the only thing you are building up is debt. |
| OP here - thank you , there are truly helpful responses on here and yes I have to just face the fact and take responsibility. I am slated to receive a 14K increase in salary April 1st so I will use our savings now to pay it off then put the increase in income in an automatic savings account for emergency savings. Additional , I may have to use the freezer.. I don't know. I don't even trust myself.. yes my husband is aware of the situation but doesn't really care. He works long hours in finance and he thinks the 13K cc debt is not a big deal. |
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If you have the willpower, the way to handle your concern is to put the credit card in a sealed envelope in a desk drawer or home safe for true emergencies. Then you pay off the bill. For many people who have no willpower, the problem is that you have it when you go anywhere that you can use it and you break down and use it because you have it with you. If you don't have it on you when you have the temptation, then you can't use it. But you can get it out, unseal the envelope or take it from the place of hiding in an emergency when you need it.
Just to give you an idea, your $13K worth of debt is costing you just over $700 per year in interest. Frankly, that's rather an expensive way to prevent yourself from using a credit card. And as you point out, with it maxed out, what is the point of having it in the first place? It's not emergency insurance because it's worthless in an emergency unless you can get the credit card company to increase your limit. If you have a spotless payment record, they might do so, but there's no guarantee that they'll do so when you have an emergency. Better to pay off the card and stash it somewhere so that it really is emergency insurance. |
| Open a safe deposit box in a bank that's an hour away. Put your credit card in there for emergencies. |