Non custodial parent is moving and not saying where to

[Anonymous]

Currently seperated from husband and have 2 child that live with me. There is no court order in place saying i have physical custody, but basically I do because they spend all time with me and dad takes them on occasions for about 6 to 8 hours once a week. Child support order is in place since January for which he has not paid.

He provides no other and has not provided any support with the children besides seeing them a couple hours and taking them to his home for a few. I recently became aware he is moving from his mom's house to who knows where. I have asked him where or with whom he's moving to since it's a room and he won't say. I'm afraid to let me children go somewhere I have no idea whose there or where. I have suggested he come be with the children at my home, but has not agreed. The oldest daughter has informed me, he will Somexs leave them unattended to shower for about 1 hour, im afraid this will happen on a location i dont know the people. Besides seeking a divorce, what else can I do. Can i not let the children go because I don't feel.comfortable? Kiddos are 9 and 2 years. Am i overthinking this?

[Anonymous]

Look, I'm a dad and you would think I would sympathize with him, but I don't.

No child support and don't tell you where he is living means he no lo nger gets to take the children out of your home, not even to a public place. If he wants his visitation to resume, he has to both pay up all the child support he owes and tell you where he lives. If he doesn't like it, he can go back to custody court and explain why he hasn't paid court assigned child support and why he don't tell you where he lives. If be tried to take them without your consent, you call 911 and say that he is trying to take the children without your consent and that you have custody and he does not.

[Anonymous]

I would not let him take the kids until you know where he's living. It's not unreasonable to want to know where your kids will be. And go back to court and seek a custody order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, I'm a dad and you would think I would sympathize with him, but I don't.

No child support and don't tell you where he is living means he no lo nger gets to take the children out of your home, not even to a public place. If he wants his visitation to resume, he has to both pay up all the child support he owes and tell you where he lives. If he doesn't like it, he can go back to custody court and explain why he hasn't paid court assigned child support and why he don't tell you where he lives. If be tried to take them without your consent, you call 911 and say that he is trying to take the children without your consent and that you have custody and he does not.

Unpaid child support and custody/visitation are two separate issues. Without a custody order OP nor her ex shouldn’t have any “rights” over the other as they are still married.

[Anonymous]

You should definitely seek a formal custody agreement through the courts or mediation.

[Anonymous]

Why not divorce him?

Also go to State Deaprtment's website, and file a form that both parents must consent for them to issue a passport. It's a watchlist, so he cant' get a passport unilaterally and take them out of the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, I'm a dad and you would think I would sympathize with him, but I don't.

No child support and don't tell you where he is living means he no lo nger gets to take the children out of your home, not even to a public place. If he wants his visitation to resume, he has to both pay up all the child support he owes and tell you where he lives. If he doesn't like it, he can go back to custody court and explain why he hasn't paid court assigned child support and why he don't tell you where he lives. If be tried to take them without your consent, you call 911 and say that he is trying to take the children without your consent and that you have custody and he does not.

You are beyond wrong. There is no custody in place. He can legally take the children to another country, not tell the mother and it’s legal. 911 would not care and they shouldn’t. Why should they choose one over the other if they both have rights and there is no harm to the children? OP, you may not like it but where he lives and with whom does not matter. Relax. He is not abusive to them. They will be fine

[Anonymous]

Lack of transparency on his part as to where he is and what he is doing with the children will play out in a custody dispute should it get to court.

[Anonymous]

Get a custody order ASAP. Also, go to court on that child support and get his wages garnished!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, I'm a dad and you would think I would sympathize with him, but I don't.

No child support and don't tell you where he is living means he no lo nger gets to take the children out of your home, not even to a public place. If he wants his visitation to resume, he has to both pay up all the child support he owes and tell you where he lives. If he doesn't like it, he can go back to custody court and explain why he hasn't paid court assigned child support and why he don't tell you where he lives. If be tried to take them without your consent, you call 911 and say that he is trying to take the children without your consent and that you have custody and he does not.

Child support and visitation are separate issues. He doesn't have to tell you but it is common decency.

[Anonymous]

Get a formal custody order and child support in place now.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think will be allowed to “approve” who
He lives with, but he needs to tell you where he’ll be taking them to spend time.

[Anonymous]

You need a formal divorce decree and custody order.

There is a women's center in Vienna that might help.

https://thewomenscenter.org/

And read this. Obviously to this I would add, "both parties need to keep the other informed of where they are living/current address.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/190333.page

Also I would add that if the children go to college full time, child support continues through age 24 or graduation. He can say no but, I'd at least try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think will be allowed to “approve” who
He lives with, but he needs to tell you where he’ll be taking them to spend time.

She is allowed to approve who her children come in touch with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I'm a dad and you would think I would sympathize with him, but I don't.

No child support and don't tell you where he is living means he no lo nger gets to take the children out of your home, not even to a public place. If he wants his visitation to resume, he has to both pay up all the child support he owes and tell you where he lives. If he doesn't like it, he can go back to custody court and explain why he hasn't paid court assigned child support and why he don't tell you where he lives. If be tried to take them without your consent, you call 911 and say that he is trying to take the children without your consent and that you have custody and he does not.

You are beyond wrong. There is no custody in place. He can legally take the children to another country, not tell the mother and it’s legal. 911 would not care and they shouldn’t. Why should they choose one over the other if they both have rights and there is no harm to the children? OP, you may not like it but where he lives and with whom does not matter. Relax. He is not abusive to them. They will be fine

You need both parents' signature to apply for a passport. You can also place them on the border watchlist.

OP, but definitely do get a custody order in in place asap.