FIL saying you're a "bad boy"

[Anonymous]

My two year old pulled off 4-5 small leaves off a very large, very old plant in my in-laws house. FIL who is early 80s got very angry and said you are a bad boy. I guess it's fine. But it just really rubs me the wrong way. My son looked so hurt and even repeated it saying I'm not a bad boy. Anyway, I guess no big deal. But I wonder if there is a polite response to suggest that he should reprimand for behavior and not call him bad in general

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two year old pulled off 4-5 small leaves off a very large, very old plant in my in-laws house. FIL who is early 80s got very angry and said you are a bad boy. I guess it's fine. But it just really rubs me the wrong way. My son looked so hurt and even repeated it saying I'm not a bad boy. Anyway, I guess no big deal. But I wonder if there is a polite response to suggest that he should reprimand for behavior and not call him bad in general

You can tell him but, if he is 80's he probably won't remember. That is what he was told as a kid and it is what he probably believes. Sure, it isn't the correct way but, I'm sure we will do something wrong when we are grandparents. How often do you see him? If it is not often I wouldn't say anything. If it is more often I would be on top of kid so he doesn't do those types of things that annoy Grandpa. Then he won't be called bad!

Still wouldn't say anything because it will be a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

I'd just watch your son more closely in FIL's house. They are both acting as expected for their age.

[Anonymous]

How often does he see his grandfather? If not often, I would just let it go. If he talks like that to him daily or even weekly- then just tell FIL that you're OK reprimanding him, but please don't say he is bad, just that the act is bad.

[Anonymous]

Well, he was being a bad boy. What’s the issue? Is he going to grow up never hearing negative feedback? Cmon lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd just watch your son more closely in FIL's house. They are both acting as expected for their age.

Very well put

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he was being a bad boy. What’s the issue? Is he going to grow up never hearing negative feedback? Cmon lady.

Aw, look; it's the poster who calls everyone "Lady," LOL.

[Anonymous]

I’m shocked by the replies on this thread.

Absolutely no way would this be ok with me.

DH would have to tell FIL to never do this again.

If he ever did do it again, we would severely limit our time with FIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd just watch your son more closely in FIL's house. They are both acting as expected for their age.

Very well put

+1

Don't let your kid pull leaves off of plants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m shocked by the replies on this thread.

Absolutely no way would this be ok with me.

DH would have to tell FIL to never do this again.

If he ever did do it again, we would severely limit our time with FIL.

Serious question, why? The child was, simply put, destroying the grandfather’s property. Regardless of what the item was, do you think this is OK? Because I do not. Do you feel the child should never be disciplined? (Which it doesn’t even sound like there was much discipline, just telling him to stop and referring to him as a bad boy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he was being a bad boy. What’s the issue? Is he going to grow up never hearing negative feedback? Cmon lady.

+1. I expect my children to behave well, and when they do not, I will not shield them from the natural consequences of their behavior. One such consequence is the simple fact of hearing what someone else thinks of their behavior. If they are behaving badly, it does no one any favors to expect that they must never hear that they are being bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd just watch your son more closely in FIL's house. They are both acting as expected for their age.

Normal for the kid and angry for the old fart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m shocked by the replies on this thread.

Absolutely no way would this be ok with me.

DH would have to tell FIL to never do this again.

If he ever did do it again, we would severely limit our time with FIL.

Serious question, why? The child was, simply put, destroying the grandfather’s property. Regardless of what the item was, do you think this is OK? Because I do not. Do you feel the child should never be disciplined? (Which it doesn’t even sound like there was much discipline, just telling him to stop and referring to him as a bad boy).

He’s two, you childless troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m shocked by the replies on this thread.

Absolutely no way would this be ok with me.

DH would have to tell FIL to never do this again.

If he ever did do it again, we would severely limit our time with FIL.

Serious question, why? The child was, simply put, destroying the grandfather’s property. Regardless of what the item was, do you think this is OK? Because I do not. Do you feel the child should never be disciplined? (Which it doesn’t even sound like there was much discipline, just telling him to stop and referring to him as a bad boy).

He’s two, you childless troll.

NP. You should watch your kid more closely if you don't want people to comment on his bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m shocked by the replies on this thread.

Absolutely no way would this be ok with me.

DH would have to tell FIL to never do this again.

If he ever did do it again, we would severely limit our time with FIL.

Serious question, why? The child was, simply put, destroying the grandfather’s property. Regardless of what the item was, do you think this is OK? Because I do not. Do you feel the child should never be disciplined? (Which it doesn’t even sound like there was much discipline, just telling him to stop and referring to him as a bad boy).

He’s two, you childless troll.

And next year he’ll be three