Did your parents teach you hygiene? If not, how did you learn?

[Anonymous]

I never had one of those idyllic mother/daughter or big sister / little sister relationships growing up. I went through far too much of my adolescence with less than stellar hygiene. I'd pick things up as little moments -- starting to shave after someone made fun of my hairy legs, using deodorant after someone commented on my funk, paying more attention to my hair after someone called me Pubic Head, etc....

I don't think I got a full grip on all of the hygiene issues American women are expected to follow until I was about 16, and that was from reading magazines. I'm twice that age now and still don't have a perfect beauty/makeup routine, but I least I know how to shower, shave, and put on deodorant!

For those of you who didn't have female figures guiding you through adolescence, how did you learn how to take care of yourself? How are you teaching your own children?

[Anonymous]

Middle school girls telling me what I was doing wrong. You can imagine how enjoyable that was.

[Anonymous]

My mother never talked to me at all about hygiene. I did have a sister who was one grade older and she seemed to know a lot.. She taught me how she shave my legs, use make up. we figured out periods together. A friend taught me how to use tampons (I did regularly read the instructions in my mother's box of tampons). I read a lot of YM magazine and Sassy, so I think that's where I learned most stuff.

[Anonymous]

I picked things up here and there, sometimes from weird places. I remember my older brother telling me about using shaving cream on my legs (I thought it was just for the face) and moisturizer on them afterwards. He found out from his girlfriend.

I learned from Oprah that you don't wear a WHITE bra under a white shirt, but a NUDE colored bra instead. Okay, that's fashion rather than hygiene. My father told me I would know my hair was clean when I was in the shower and it squeaked.

I went to our next door neighbor's house for something and she had a friend over. The friend told me to use leave-in conditioner in my hair. She was right. I never flossed as a kid - I learned how from watching my dentist teach my daughter how to do it. I can't remember how I learned about waxing.

Probably learned most other stuff from friends or reading. My mom wore such bad makeup that kids at school made fun of me for how she looked. She had outdated views (tampons cause TSS), wearing black or red is slutty, and a lot of misinformation (brush your curly hair harder to tame it and make it less pouffy). She also has easily not showered or taken a bath in decades at this point. So she would get angry at me for taking too-long showers or too frequent showers even though I would take one every other day and be in and out of the bathroom in 20 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I picked things up here and there, sometimes from weird places. I remember my older brother telling me about using shaving cream on my legs (I thought it was just for the face) and moisturizer on them afterwards. He found out from his girlfriend.

I learned from Oprah that you don't wear a WHITE bra under a white shirt, but a NUDE colored bra instead. Okay, that's fashion rather than hygiene. My father told me I would know my hair was clean when I was in the shower and it squeaked.

I went to our next door neighbor's house for something and she had a friend over. The friend told me to use leave-in conditioner in my hair. She was right. I never flossed as a kid - I learned how from watching my dentist teach my daughter how to do it. I can't remember how I learned about waxing.

Probably learned most other stuff from friends or reading. My mom wore such bad makeup that kids at school made fun of me for how she looked. She had outdated views (tampons cause TSS), wearing black or red is slutty, and a lot of misinformation (brush your curly hair harder to tame it and make it less pouffy). She also has easily not showered or taken a bath in decades at this point. So she would get angry at me for taking too-long showers or too frequent showers even though I would take one every other day and be in and out of the bathroom in 20 minutes.

Didn't bathe for decades? What was that about? Did she have a mental illness?

I tried shaving my legs in 7th grade, and cut myself about 5 times up my shin. I was embarrased and said I tripped on the steps. I think I tried and succeeded later. This is why I totally disagree with moms who say to let your daughter come to you when she's ready, or that mentioning her hairy armpits will make her feel bad. I desperately wanted my mom to say "It's time to shave now." But she never did, and I was just way too awkward to go to her. So I was just ashamed of my hairy legs and pits until I did it myself.

[Anonymous]

Didn't bathe for decades? What was that about? Did she have a mental illness?

I tried shaving my legs in 7th grade, and cut myself about 5 times up my shin. I was embarrased and said I tripped on the steps. I think I tried and succeeded later. This is why I totally disagree with moms who say to let your daughter come to you when she's ready, or that mentioning her hairy armpits will make her feel bad. I desperately wanted my mom to say "It's time to shave now." But she never did, and I was just way too awkward to go to her. So I was just ashamed of my hairy legs and pits until I did it myself.

I think she hasn't showered (or stepped into a bathtub) since the 80's. I think she stands in front of the sink with a washcloth and washes herself that way, once a week or so. Her hair only gets washed every few months when she goes to a salon to get it dyed. She is a uh, large lady and I think she was scared of slipping and falling getting into/out of the shower. In her late 60's she lost a significant amount of weight but she's had back/foot/knee problems for over a decade and I think would still worry about slipping. When my parents moved about a decade ago and my dad was having a bathroom torn out and re-built I pulled him aside and told him to make the shower handicapped accessible - sturdy bench and hand rails. Sadly I don't think that helped.

When my DD wanted to shave she asked me. And I asked if she'd been using my razor. When she said yes we had a big talk about why one doesn't do that. I took her to Target and we picked out her very own razor for her, and shaving cream (these days she uses coconut oil I think). I explained that you NEVER want to buy the cheapest razor and you should change the blade after each period (once a month). Some kids can talk to their parents about these things. Some can't. You have to know your kid, you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Didn't bathe for decades? What was that about? Did she have a mental illness?

I tried shaving my legs in 7th grade, and cut myself about 5 times up my shin. I was embarrased and said I tripped on the steps. I think I tried and succeeded later. This is why I totally disagree with moms who say to let your daughter come to you when she's ready, or that mentioning her hairy armpits will make her feel bad. I desperately wanted my mom to say "It's time to shave now." But she never did, and I was just way too awkward to go to her. So I was just ashamed of my hairy legs and pits until I did it myself.

I think she hasn't showered (or stepped into a bathtub) since the 80's. I think she stands in front of the sink with a washcloth and washes herself that way, once a week or so. Her hair only gets washed every few months when she goes to a salon to get it dyed. She is a uh, large lady and I think she was scared of slipping and falling getting into/out of the shower. In her late 60's she lost a significant amount of weight but she's had back/foot/knee problems for over a decade and I think would still worry about slipping. When my parents moved about a decade ago and my dad was having a bathroom torn out and re-built I pulled him aside and told him to make the shower handicapped accessible - sturdy bench and hand rails. Sadly I don't think that helped.

When my DD wanted to shave she asked me. And I asked if she'd been using my razor. When she said yes we had a big talk about why one doesn't do that. I took her to Target and we picked out her very own razor for her, and shaving cream (these days she uses coconut oil I think). I explained that you NEVER want to buy the cheapest razor and you should change the blade after each period (once a month). Some kids can talk to their parents about these things. Some can't. You have to know your kid, you know?

Who sold you that? Do you also buy new mattress every now 7 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I picked things up here and there, sometimes from weird places. I remember my older brother telling me about using shaving cream on my legs (I thought it was just for the face) and moisturizer on them afterwards. He found out from his girlfriend.

I learned from Oprah that you don't wear a WHITE bra under a white shirt, but a NUDE colored bra instead. Okay, that's fashion rather than hygiene. My father told me I would know my hair was clean when I was in the shower and it squeaked.

I went to our next door neighbor's house for something and she had a friend over. The friend told me to use leave-in conditioner in my hair. She was right. I never flossed as a kid - I learned how from watching my dentist teach my daughter how to do it. I can't remember how I learned about waxing.

Probably learned most other stuff from friends or reading. My mom wore such bad makeup that kids at school made fun of me for how she looked. She had outdated views (tampons cause TSS), wearing black or red is slutty, and a lot of misinformation (brush your curly hair harder to tame it and make it less pouffy). She also has easily not showered or taken a bath in decades at this point. So she would get angry at me for taking too-long showers or too frequent showers even though I would take one every other day and be in and out of the bathroom in 20 minutes.

I hate nude color bras or underwear. I don't have one and I am not planning on getting one.

[Anonymous]

Following along with my college roommate's habits.

[Anonymous]

Google was my parents

[Anonymous]

This is interesting ... I am pretty lax with my beauty routine but not hygiene. However I don’t shave my legs at all (am Asian and it is unnecessary) but I assume I will have to teach my daughters how to do it. I used to shave but found it pointless so I quit probably 10 years ago. I never even thought about how I would have to teach my daughters. Especially since they are half Asian so I assume they will have more hair on their legs than me and might want to shave.

[Anonymous]

I so identify with OP. My mom volunteered nothing, and it's impossible for a suburban kid to get supplies like a razor (parents had their own bath, from which I was barred). I learned about shaving and eyebrows from that YA book where the girl cuts herself shaving and plucks out all her eyebrows - so of course I was terrified to try. The supplies I did ask for were always so awkward and dated, like ginormous maxi pads and blue eyeshadow.

Mom did take me to get my eyebrows done professionally as I was graduating college, and after that just experimented with drugstore makeup based on what I read in magazines... well into my adult years, it's kind of shocking in hindsight that I got a job out of law school. My younger sister taught me to curl my eyelashes: she learned from friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle school girls telling me what I was doing wrong. You can imagine how enjoyable that was.

This was me too. I was a child of immigrants so add on the embarrassment of being ‘different’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google was my parents

Ahh, I was a teen way before Google. Wish Google was around! Would have made life so much easier for us poor souls with horrible moms.

[Anonymous]

My other got me a subscription to Seventeen Magazine when I was 10.

So I learned from reading that.

Not ideal at all for so many reasons, but I learned.