Did your parents teach you hygiene? If not, how did you learn?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom gave me no guidance and made me feel bad about wanting to shave at 13 or use a specific shampoo. Like I was vain or something.

I have two teen boys but regularly come home from the drug store with stuff specifically for them to try - face washes, hair products, deodorants, etc. My husband has taught them how to shave, but I want to make sure they know it's okay to use other stuff.

Good lord woman - petrochemicals for all, right? If you want your family members to still have things like functional thyroid glands you should consider being more basic like your mom was. Stop watching so many network tv commercials already - those chemicals they are peddling might be legal in the US but they’re not good for you.

Lol just waiting for an eco-sanctimommy to arrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Didn't bathe for decades? What was that about? Did she have a mental illness?

I tried shaving my legs in 7th grade, and cut myself about 5 times up my shin. I was embarrased and said I tripped on the steps. I think I tried and succeeded later. This is why I totally disagree with moms who say to let your daughter come to you when she's ready, or that mentioning her hairy armpits will make her feel bad. I desperately wanted my mom to say "It's time to shave now." But she never did, and I was just way too awkward to go to her. So I was just ashamed of my hairy legs and pits until I did it myself.

I think she hasn't showered (or stepped into a bathtub) since the 80's. I think she stands in front of the sink with a washcloth and washes herself that way, once a week or so. Her hair only gets washed every few months when she goes to a salon to get it dyed. She is a uh, large lady and I think she was scared of slipping and falling getting into/out of the shower. In her late 60's she lost a significant amount of weight but she's had back/foot/knee problems for over a decade and I think would still worry about slipping. When my parents moved about a decade ago and my dad was having a bathroom torn out and re-built I pulled him aside and told him to make the shower handicapped accessible - sturdy bench and hand rails. Sadly I don't think that helped.

When my DD wanted to shave she asked me. And I asked if she'd been using my razor. When she said yes we had a big talk about why one doesn't do that. I took her to Target and we picked out her very own razor for her, and shaving cream (these days she uses coconut oil I think). I explained that you NEVER want to buy the cheapest razor and you should change the blade after each period (once a month). Some kids can talk to their parents about these things. Some can't. You have to know your kid, you know?

Who sold you that? Do you also buy new mattress every now 7 years?

Why the snark? I think that's a good tip to tie it to something that happens every month. Kind of like how we're reminded to check our smoke detectors when we set the clocks back.

We get our water bill quarterly and the day I get a water bill is when I change out all of the toothbrushes in the house.

Can't you just swap out your razor when it gets dull and change out the toothbrushes when they look like they need it?

You could. But I don't want to wait until I get a cut to use that as the sign that I should change the blade. And I once DID buy the cheapest razor Target sold, and promptly got three cuts on my legs and spent a half hour bleeding. So I'd like for DD to be able to avoid that if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading this is interesting to me, as the mother of a 14 yr old.

I'm betting if you asked my daughter how she learned to shave her legs, she'd say friends. She tunes me out completely whenever I've brought up "growing up" topics, I doubt she remembers me mentioning some girls shave their under arms and I could show her how, when she was 9 and I noticed she was growing underarm hair. She completely ignored me, as she did when I mentioned some girls shave their legs, a yearish later, and so on. I've stocked her book shelves with different "growing up" books, including the always-recommended Care and Keeping of You. The spines are pristine.

I'm pretty sure in 20 years, she'll be wondering how on earth I let her grow up feral and why I left it to her friends to educate her. I know some parents do let their children down in this regard, I'm not questioning that. I'm just betting my kid's going to be thinking she was left to flounder too. Though she might remember the time I forced her to come to the drug store with me to to buy a selection of different tampons so she could try to find one for swimming that she didn't hate. That was highly traumatic for both of us. (Advice to any parents considering doing this in the future - just use Amazon. Why didn't I use Amazon?!)

This is a very good point. It's interesting what we remember from our childhoods and how we remember things. And girls do sometimes blow off their moms and think that can't possibly know anything worthwhile.

Yes but it’s the mom’s job to keep trying. I’d rather be remembered as a nag than a neglectful, which is what my mother was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Didn't bathe for decades? What was that about? Did she have a mental illness?

I tried shaving my legs in 7th grade, and cut myself about 5 times up my shin. I was embarrased and said I tripped on the steps. I think I tried and succeeded later. This is why I totally disagree with moms who say to let your daughter come to you when she's ready, or that mentioning her hairy armpits will make her feel bad. I desperately wanted my mom to say "It's time to shave now." But she never did, and I was just way too awkward to go to her. So I was just ashamed of my hairy legs and pits until I did it myself.

I think she hasn't showered (or stepped into a bathtub) since the 80's. I think she stands in front of the sink with a washcloth and washes herself that way, once a week or so. Her hair only gets washed every few months when she goes to a salon to get it dyed. She is a uh, large lady and I think she was scared of slipping and falling getting into/out of the shower. In her late 60's she lost a significant amount of weight but she's had back/foot/knee problems for over a decade and I think would still worry about slipping. When my parents moved about a decade ago and my dad was having a bathroom torn out and re-built I pulled him aside and told him to make the shower handicapped accessible - sturdy bench and hand rails. Sadly I don't think that helped.

When my DD wanted to shave she asked me. And I asked if she'd been using my razor. When she said yes we had a big talk about why one doesn't do that. I took her to Target and we picked out her very own razor for her, and shaving cream (these days she uses coconut oil I think). I explained that you NEVER want to buy the cheapest razor and you should change the blade after each period (once a month). Some kids can talk to their parents about these things. Some can't. You have to know your kid, you know?

Who sold you that? Do you also buy new mattress every now 7 years?

I buy and use the cheap disposable razors all the time. I don't have a ton of hair. I figure it's better to have a fresh blade more frequently than having an overpriced reusable one with overpriced refills.

Also I would have no problem with my daughter using my razor... but I would get her her own without the lecture. I don't know what that's about...

Why the snark? I think that's a good tip to tie it to something that happens every month. Kind of like how we're reminded to check our smoke detectors when we set the clocks back.

We get our water bill quarterly and the day I get a water bill is when I change out all of the toothbrushes in the house.

Can't you just swap out your razor when it gets dull and change out the toothbrushes when they look like they need it?

You could. But I don't want to wait until I get a cut to use that as the sign that I should change the blade. And I once DID buy the cheapest razor Target sold, and promptly got three cuts on my legs and spent a half hour bleeding. So I'd like for DD to be able to avoid that if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother never talked to me at all about hygiene. I did have a sister who was one grade older and she seemed to know a lot.. She taught me how she shave my legs, use make up. we figured out periods together. A friend taught me how to use tampons (I did regularly read the instructions in my mother's box of tampons). I read a lot of YM magazine and Sassy, so I think that's where I learned most stuff.

This is sad and reckless . What kind of mother couldn’t be bothered to teach her daughter about periods ? Smh

[Anonymous]

I'm also finding this thread very sad, but heartening in some ways. My mom could be over the top with her focus on appearances, but she did teach me all this stuff in a nice way. The one exception was periods ... she was NOT good at talking about that, and mine came earlier than one would have expected, so we were both freaked out. But shaving, first bra, makeup, etc., she did a great job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was a stickler for hygiene, from the time we were babies. We learned to bathe ourselves and wash our own hair by the time we were 3 or 4. I had a cousin whose mother did not teach her anything, so I remember one evening my mom said we were going to play beauty salon and we were going to wash each other's hair in the sink, in order to get her to wash her hair without hurting her feelings. She never realized what mom was doing. By watching us buying deodorant and razors, she learned about that.

You mom was a good auntie!

This is so kind. What a nice person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle school girls telling me what I was doing wrong. You can imagine how enjoyable that was.

+1. I still remember the girl commenting on our male teacher's greasy hair and then the next day telling me that she had been politely trying to tell me that my greasy hair needed to be washed. My mother gave me no guidance whatsoever on any kind of hygiene, periods (that was fun when I got it for the second time on a school field trip!), shaving, etc. I hope to do better by my girls.

[Anonymous]

My mom was completely incapable of teaching this stuff without being humiliating.

My twelve year old son has it together with hygeine, age appropriate discussions of puberty and sex, etc. The key was starting the conversations well before he needed deodorant and decided, at the same time, that I was embarrassing.

He knows he can talk with me- I did give him some books in case he wants the information but doesn’t want to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was completely incapable of teaching this stuff without being humiliating.

My twelve year old son has it together with hygeine, age appropriate discussions of puberty and sex, etc. The key was starting the conversations well before he needed deodorant and decided, at the same time, that I was embarrassing.

He knows he can talk with me- I did give him some books in case he wants the information but doesn’t want to ask.

Forgot to say- I learned it from some extremely mean 6th grade girls. It’s why I started talking with my son early- I wanted him to hear it from me. Make up and hair I learned from Seventeen and friends.