dating or marrying to high income people

[Anonymous]

28 years old male pharmacist with income of about 120k/year, did some modeling in my college day so I say I am a decent looking guy. I met a 33 years old single female while she was waiting to pick up prescription for her mother and we've been seeing each other for the past six months and things are going great both physically and mentally. Now she wants us to get married within the next few months because I am "the one" for her. Her income is 800k/year, 1.2M if including bonus. She doesn't care or mind if I make much less than she does.

How does a spouse feel if your SO makes a lot of more than you, especially the husband? How does it change the dynamic of the relationship in the long run?

[Anonymous]

What country are you from?

[Anonymous]

grow up.

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

So long as the sex is good I say go for the kill!

[Anonymous]

Well is she the one for you? That's what you need to sort out before marrying her because she wants to marry you: do YOU want to marry her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:28 years old male pharmacist with income of about 120k/year, did some modeling in my college day so I say I am a decent looking guy. I met a 33 years old single female while she was waiting to pick up prescription for her mother and we've been seeing each other for the past six months and things are going great both physically and mentally. Now she wants us to get married within the next few months because I am "the one" for her. Her income is 800k/year, 1.2M if including bonus. She doesn't care or mind if I make much less than she does.

How does a spouse feel if your SO makes a lot of more than you, especially the husband? How does it change the dynamic of the relationship in the long run?

I vote you become a stay-at-home dad. I know one and he's livin' the life.

[Anonymous]

In general I think the big thing will be having kids and the expectations around division of labor. I have several co-workers where their wives are pulling in money on top of the guy making low-mid six figures. I would say from the outside looking in the guys are very hands on involved with their kids and share the snow days, sick days etc with spouse. Often times there is family nearby plus a nanny in the younger years. I’m not sure who does the cooking or maybe it’s split with a bit of take out in the mix. Guys also appear to have their time/hobbies and same for the wife.

In general, I think it’s the type of split you would expect if they were both making the same income but they have extra money to outsource and make life easier. But I think if the incomes were reversed and the wife made say 120 and DH made over 500K, a heck of lot more would fall on the wife rather than it being closer to 50/50 plus outside help.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the income differential is that relevant. Differences are more profound, I think, if you're taking about net worth, extreme wealth. You might though, want to keep finances separate. She might like that best. She may feel she is entitled to more spurges just for herself. Seems like you should be able to live with that.

[Anonymous]

Is she wealthy too? Or just high income?
Is it like doctor surgeon high income, working 20 days a month in various shifts set each month and you get paid more each year and great job security (with by get fired and replaced w young person)

Or is it lawyer or investment or lobbying high income? If so does she want to continue that for 20+ years or downgrade to something less stressful and time consuming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:28 years old male pharmacist with income of about 120k/year, did some modeling in my college day so I say I am a decent looking guy. I met a 33 years old single female while she was waiting to pick up prescription for her mother and we've been seeing each other for the past six months and things are going great both physically and mentally. Now she wants us to get married within the next few months because I am "the one" for her. Her income is 800k/year, 1.2M if including bonus. She doesn't care or mind if I make much less than she does.

How does a spouse feel if your SO makes a lot of more than you, especially the husband? How does it change the dynamic of the relationship in the long run?

Are you a sugar baby? What does the 33 yr do to earn that much? And is she a dog? Is that why you mention you look like a model? Most models nowadays are uggs.

[Anonymous]

You won't fit in anywhere in her social circle.

[Anonymous]

Just make sure you discuss money before the wedding. Do you want children and are you ok with either you staying home or hiring help or do you think your wife should take care of the kids? How are the bills going to be paid? How is the house going to be owned? Will everything be joint, or will you be paying her a percent? What if she takes her money and buys a Porsche but you can only afford a Chevy, would you be ok with that? Will there be a prenup? YOU need to decide what YOU are ok with

I'd be a little concerned because her biological clock is ticking...does she actually want you or your genes for her baby?(You mention you were a model and obviously you are intelligent- you are a pharmacist)

Traditionally, in our society men have outearned their wives and for many men, their ego/self-esteem is connected to their salary/career/provider status. If, in your family this has been the case, you may or may not have an issue with the reverse, but you need to be completely honest with yourself and her. If friends/family "joke" about HER being the "man of the family" because she outearns you, will it bother you? In some families/societies there is a double standard, regardless of whether it is "fair" or not. Some men have an affair to feel better when their ego has taken a hit. I have seen it work & not work. Dating is one thing, but marriage with kids is entirely different. You have a lot to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just make sure you discuss money before the wedding. Do you want children and are you ok with either you staying home or hiring help or do you think your wife should take care of the kids? How are the bills going to be paid? How is the house going to be owned? Will everything be joint, or will you be paying her a percent? What if she takes her money and buys a Porsche but you can only afford a Chevy, would you be ok with that? Will there be a prenup? YOU need to decide what YOU are ok with

I'd be a little concerned because her biological clock is ticking...does she actually want you or your genes for her baby?(You mention you were a model and obviously you are intelligent- you are a pharmacist)

Traditionally, in our society men have outearned their wives and for many men, their ego/self-esteem is connected to their salary/career/provider status. If, in your family this has been the case, you may or may not have an issue with the reverse, but you need to be completely honest with yourself and her. If friends/family "joke" about HER being the "man of the family" because she outearns you, will it bother you? In some families/societies there is a double standard, regardless of whether it is "fair" or not. Some men have an affair to feel better when their ego has taken a hit. I have seen it work & not work. Dating is one thing, but marriage with kids is entirely different. You have a lot to consid
er.

Obviously the guy is with her for her money. He must not be an alpha. If he tolerates her and her looks while a high income surgeon or other high income will not then she is settling for a sperm donor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously the guy is with her for her money. He must not be an alpha. If he tolerates her and her looks while a high income surgeon or other high income will not then she is settling for a sperm donor.

Is this a stupid comment or what? The OP said nothing about her look, only that she is five years older than he is. Perhaps he is not shallow.

Did you look at Roger Federer's wife who is also 3+ years older than he is? Did you see her pictures? She is so average and yet she is married to probably the coolest guy on earth.

High income surgeon is not that big of a deal. I know a lot of techies with a lot more ka-ching than surgeons (aka tech stock options).