13 YO DS refuses to wear pants without drawstrings!
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Anonymous
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My 13 year old DS hates and refuses to wear any sort of pants without drawstrings (jean, nice pants, khakis, etc). He pretty much wears athletic shorts all summer and sweats/running pants in the winter.
This is fine a lot of the time, but just this past weekend we went to a wedding and got in a huge fight over him wearing pants. He literally blew up in the middle of our hotel. He says any type of buttoned/zippered pants are uncomfortable. We have tried different brands, fabrics, etc to no success. I am fine with him wearing sweats to school, if that's really what he wants, but obviously there are times when sweatpants are not at all appropriate, and we can't be letting a teen wear sweats to a wedding/funeral/formal dinner. Eventually for the wedding we told him he would either wear the suit or just stay in the hotel room and accept the consequences of his actions when we got back. It sucked because it was the wedding of my younger brother who DS is close with, but that is life. I was just wondering if anyone else had any ideas for ways to help him get over this phobia of pants? All the pants we have bought for him fit and he will try pants on at the store with some light prodding, but when we ask him to wear them he gets angry and refuses to the point where when he was a bit younger we would have to try and physically force him to wear them. |
Anonymous
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What size is he? Maybe we can find some?
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Anonymous
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Hey - I don't want to come across rude or judgemental, but is your son overweight?
Only reason I ask is because my husband, who was very obese/overweight as a child and teenager, is sitting right next to me and says this reminds him of himself at that age. When, especially as a guy, you have a big belly there are two real ways to wear pants. You either wear them either under your stomach which is uncomfortable but is more in style compared to your slender peers, or up higher ('like your grandpa does,' per dear husband) which is higher then most other kids/teens (my husband claims he was teased more for how he wore his pants then for how fat he was!) My husband's advice is to have a long chat about why your DS is uncomfortable in jeans - do they pinch him somewhere? Does he just feel like they are too tight? Is it for the above reasons? And go from there. One other thing, as a parent I've noticed that guys' pants - especially for the teen demographic - have gotten a slimmer fit, even for 'normal' jeans/pants. You might want to try going up a few inches on the waist or a wider cut and using a belt because for even slim kids the cut may feel too slim. I know my 16YO DS has to do this - the vast majority of jeans are quite tight around his thighs (to be fair, even as a fairly slim kid he has pretty big thighs from playing soccer). |
Anonymous
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http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pcid=5058&vid=1&pid=232456002
http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pcid=5058&vid=1&pid=160928002 (gap has a few others as well) http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1036248&pcid=5936&vid=1&pid=138666002 http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1036248&pcid=5936&vid=1&pid=856317002 http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1036248&pcid=5936&vid=1&pid=856317002 (old navy has other ones too) https://www.childrensplace.com/us/p/280400 Children's place has other ones too Amazon has some too |
Anonymous
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He is either too sporty, or not sporty enough.
I am sorry. |
Anonymous
| Does he like athletic pants? My son wears them all the time, because they're comfortable. In summer he wears athletic shorts. I don't care as long as he's happy. He is always dressed nicely and has good hygiene, so that's what matters. He's 12. The only time he'll wear jeans is if it snows and he wants to go out and play in it. He has steel-toed boots (like his adult brothers have), and he loves to wear those, but obviously he can't wear those with athletic pants, so he does have to make a concession if he wants to wear the boots. |
Anonymous
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If your son basically only wears sports gear all year, asking him to wear regular pants is akin to asking him
to wear a wetsuit or a bra or something else completely foreign. Why do you let him wear athletic gear all year? I would gradually get him used to regular clothes and not press the point at high-stress events. |
Anonymous
| My husband never wore jeans until he was 32 years old. He said they are uncomfortable in the crotch and he just wasn't going to put up with being uncomfortable. I noticed that he always wore his hiking pants (in various khaki colors) from REI. These pants all have a gusseted crotch. So you know what, I bought him gusseted crotch pants from Prana. While he made fun of the brand, he LOVED the jeans. They advertise them as jeans you can rock climb in: gusseted crotch and slightly stretchy with a loose fit. You can also find gusseted crotch pants from Betabrand and other companies. They even make work pants--ask me how I know. Good luck! |
Anonymous
He needed to go to a family wedding. She clarified all of your questions in her original post ... |
Anonymous
| My DS who is 12 was like this too. He will wear American Eagle jeans and khakis now. They are extreme flex so much more comfortable than regular jeans. |
Anonymous
| This is why jeans and kakis should be the only thing children wear starting from birth . The world is not casual. |
Anonymous
| OP, look for nice pants with drawstrings. |
Anonymous
That's part of the problem. We never let our boys wear sweatpants or athletic pants to school--nothing with drawstrings or elastic waist. Jeans, khakis, shorts, some types of "joggers", etc. As for changing it now, how to do that really depends on what the issue is. "They're not comfortable" is really not a reason, especially for his uncle's wedding. It's a power struggle of sorts, it sounds like, much in the way some people experience with certain food issues. |
Anonymous
Why feed into it? |
Anonymous
| A 7th grader can't put up with 2 hours in a suit for his uncle's wedding -- and an uncle he's close with not some long lost relative?? I hope the kid is grounded and without a phone/gaming etc. for months and starting Monday all the athletic pants are thrown out and the only options for school are jeans/regular pants/going in boxer shorts. Sorry but he's being a spoiled brat and moms seem to enable this with --- oooohh he has sensory issues around his crotch or whatever. Give me a break. Part of being an adult is dressing up and dressing up is/can be uncomfortable at times. Kid will be going to homecoming, jr/sr proms, graduation in 4-5 yrs. Does he intend to show up in Adidas pants? Maybe he can tell his date's parents that a tux was out of the question bc he can't have wool suit fabric against his thighs and his crotch needs to be comfortable. |