13 YO DS refuses to wear pants without drawstrings!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why jeans and kakis should be the only thing children wear starting from birth . The world is not casual.

Yep. I don't understand sending boys to school in sweatpants. It's sloppy and then you end up with boys like this at age 13 who freak out at PANTS bc they've never worn them. When did the world get soooo casual that jeans are considered dressing up??

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why OP should force her kid to wear pants that he finds uncomfortable on a daily basis. I'm a SAHM and wear very casual and comfortable pants every day, but I am still able to put on a pair of jeans or a dress when the occasion calls for it. Most jobs have really relaxed dress codes lately too. Everything is more casual these days. My mom remembers having to dress up to fly anywhere, and wear fancy dresses every Sunday to church.

OP, I think you can try some of the nicer looking pants that still have draw strings. But when he needs to dress up, maybe tell him far in advance and have him pick out which suit/pants he will wear. It will be more of a pain if you have to buy several options and have him try them on, or drag him to the store, but hopefully it would be worth it. This is how I get my toddler to do things. She has to go to the dentist, but she can choose to sit on my lap or lay down. Chooses her tooth paste and sunglasses. Gets to pick a little toy after. Lots of choices to give her some control over the process, but she does still have to do it.

[Anonymous]

Our boys dress casually every day, usually athletic shorts or joggers. However, they know when we say khakis, dress pants, collared shirt, jacket and tie, etc. that there is no discussion because there is a reason. OP you need to let him know under no certain terms there are certain events where he will dress up. Let him help pick the stuff out, but he is wearing it. And yes, if he did not go to the wedding, major consequences. That should not have even been offered as an option.

[Anonymous]

I probably would have let him attend in sweats and then let him be embarrassed by the pictures later. Then again, my family doesn’t do formal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I probably would have let him attend in sweats and then let him be embarrassed by the pictures later. Then again, my family doesn’t do formal.

So all family weddings and funerals are casual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 7th grader can't put up with 2 hours in a suit for his uncle's wedding -- and an uncle he's close with not some long lost relative?? I hope the kid is grounded and without a phone/gaming etc. for months and starting Monday all the athletic pants are thrown out and the only options for school are jeans/regular pants/going in boxer shorts. Sorry but he's being a spoiled brat and moms seem to enable this with --- oooohh he has sensory issues around his crotch or whatever. Give me a break. Part of being an adult is dressing up and dressing up is/can be uncomfortable at times. Kid will be going to homecoming, jr/sr proms, graduation in 4-5 yrs. Does he intend to show up in Adidas pants? Maybe he can tell his date's parents that a tux was out of the question bc he can't have wool suit fabric against his thighs and his crotch needs to be comfortable.

+1,000.

Unless there are real special needs involved, everyone can survive a couple of hours in an 'uncomfortable' outfit. It's time the precious snowflake learn that the world doesn't revolve around him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our boys dress casually every day, usually athletic shorts or joggers. However, they know when we say khakis, dress pants, collared shirt, jacket and tie, etc. that there is no discussion because there is a reason. OP you need to let him know under no certain terms there are certain events where he will dress up. Let him help pick the stuff out, but he is wearing it. And yes, if he did not go to the wedding, major consequences. That should not have even been offered as an option.

Completely agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 7th grader can't put up with 2 hours in a suit for his uncle's wedding -- and an uncle he's close with not some long lost relative?? I hope the kid is grounded and without a phone/gaming etc. for months and starting Monday all the athletic pants are thrown out and the only options for school are jeans/regular pants/going in boxer shorts. Sorry but he's being a spoiled brat and moms seem to enable this with --- oooohh he has sensory issues around his crotch or whatever. Give me a break. Part of being an adult is dressing up and dressing up is/can be uncomfortable at times. Kid will be going to homecoming, jr/sr proms, graduation in 4-5 yrs. Does he intend to show up in Adidas pants? Maybe he can tell his date's parents that a tux was out of the question bc he can't have wool suit fabric against his thighs and his crotch needs to be comfortable.

+1,000.

Unless there are real special needs involved, everyone can survive a couple of hours in an 'uncomfortable' outfit. It's time the precious snowflake learn that the world doesn't revolve around him.

Yep and special needs means ACTUAL special needs -- like going to a special school or needing an aide with him all day at regular school. Not the BS -- every boy has aspergers or ADD or "sensory" issues. No 13 year boy in the history of the world has been comfortable in a suit, tie and dress shoes -- yet they all make it work when they absolutely have to. Of course in other families they know they have to bc mom and dad lay down the law. Here -- you hear -- oh poor boy, how about drawstring pants or let him go in sweats -- poor baby.

[Anonymous]

Wow, lots of bizarrely strong feelings happening in this thread...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I probably would have let him attend in sweats and then let him be embarrassed by the pictures later. Then again, my family doesn’t do formal.

So all family weddings and funerals are casual?

Most of them. And no one cares what the kids wear.

[Anonymous]

Abercrombie and Fitch has dressier looking pants that have drawstrings. Get on their email list, get the discounts and get shopping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband never wore jeans until he was 32 years old. He said they are uncomfortable in the crotch and he just wasn't going to put up with being uncomfortable. I noticed that he always wore his hiking pants (in various khaki colors) from REI. These pants all have a gusseted crotch. So you know what, I bought him gusseted crotch pants from Prana. While he made fun of the brand, he LOVED the jeans. They advertise them as jeans you can rock climb in: gusseted crotch and slightly stretchy with a loose fit. You can also find gusseted crotch pants from Betabrand and other companies. They even make work pants--ask me how I know. Good luck!

Patagonia too, probably ll bean..

[Anonymous]

Hopefully he’ll have some occasion to go to with peers that requires dressier clothes and he’ll get over it without your help.
Dating should help too. It’s just a few more years and he’ll feel ridiculous all on his own pretty soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 7th grader can't put up with 2 hours in a suit for his uncle's wedding -- and an uncle he's close with not some long lost relative?? I hope the kid is grounded and without a phone/gaming etc. for months and starting Monday all the athletic pants are thrown out and the only options for school are jeans/regular pants/going in boxer shorts. Sorry but he's being a spoiled brat and moms seem to enable this with --- oooohh he has sensory issues around his crotch or whatever. Give me a break. Part of being an adult is dressing up and dressing up is/can be uncomfortable at times. Kid will be going to homecoming, jr/sr proms, graduation in 4-5 yrs. Does he intend to show up in Adidas pants? Maybe he can tell his date's parents that a tux was out of the question bc he can't have wool suit fabric against his thighs and his crotch needs to be comfortable.

Bunch of ball busters are here - are you trying to create women hating rapists or what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why OP should force her kid to wear pants that he finds uncomfortable on a daily basis. I'm a SAHM and wear very casual and comfortable pants every day, but I am still able to put on a pair of jeans or a dress when the occasion calls for it. Most jobs have really relaxed dress codes lately too. Everything is more casual these days. My mom remembers having to dress up to fly anywhere, and wear fancy dresses every Sunday to church.

OP, I think you can try some of the nicer looking pants that still have draw strings. But when he needs to dress up, maybe tell him far in advance and have him pick out which suit/pants he will wear. It will be more of a pain if you have to buy several options and have him try them on, or drag him to the store, but hopefully it would be worth it. This is how I get my toddler to do things. She has to go to the dentist, but she can choose to sit on my lap or lay down. Chooses her tooth paste and sunglasses. Gets to pick a little toy after. Lots of choices to give her some control over the process, but she does still have to do it.

You're a SAHM. How would you know?