Used gear as shower gift - tacky?

[Anonymous]

I'm invited to a baby shower for a friendly friend of a friend, if that makes sense. It's her first child. Would it be tacky to give her a second-hand piece of baby gear? It's barely used, (but obviously not new, as it's assembled) and cost about $80 new. I would also wrap up a new outfit or pack of onesies or something.

[Anonymous]

I actually received a huge bundle of lightly used items from a friend when I was pregnant with DC1, and I loved it! The economy was fantastic at the time, no one viewed it as a "cheap out" at all. The gift giver tied a huge stack of board books with a ribbon, and attached a label that said something cute like "these were our favorite books the first year", etc. The stack of books also came with some used-but completely clean unisex clothes, also tied with a ribbon, all nestled in a used (late model) baby bathtub. I thought it was lovely, actually.

[Anonymous]

I would wrap the new items and say, "I also have this XXX that you may get more use out of than I did if you want it" and give it to her unwrapped.

[Anonymous]

I would give the used item apart from a shower gift. Give the new thing, even if it's small. Then separate from the whole pretense of the shower, ask if she wants the used item.

[Anonymous]

I'm all for hand-me-downs, but I think the point of a shower is the oohing and ahhing over tiny new things, without associations of other babies who might have had those things in the past.

I'd give the small new gift and offer the used one--but not bring it to the event. If she prefers to get the item new and you spring the used one one her, she might feel that she has to take yours (and then dispose of it).

[Anonymous]

I'd bring the new and old gift during the shower. But I would only present the new one during the actual event. After all the gift were opened, at some point befor ethe shower ended, I would ask her if she had xxx. If she didn't I'd offer my used one and then be able to run right out to the car and give it to her. I adored getting hand-me-downs for my kids, but I don't think a shower is the place to give them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would wrap the new items and say, "I also have this XXX that you may get more use out of than I did if you want it" and give it to her unwrapped.

I second this advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wrap the new items and say, "I also have this XXX that you may get more use out of than I did if you want it" and give it to her unwrapped.

I second this advice.

and you could just leave it your car.

[Anonymous]

Agree here. I love hand-me-downs, but its tacky as a shower gift.

Give a new gift for a shower. If you're short on money, sell the used item on Craigs list and use the proceeds to buy a new gift -- even if it is small.

For better or worse, the relative value of the gift is less important... its better to give a new $20 gift, than an almost new $80 gift. Maybe that's a sad commentary on our materialism, but it is what it is...

[Anonymous]

Way tacky shower gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give the used item apart from a shower gift. Give the new thing, even if it's small. Then separate from the whole pretense of the shower, ask if she wants the used item.

This.

[Anonymous]

Tacky, schmacky. I like the first response at 12:55. Bundle it all up with a big bow and give it openly, excitedly, and without apology. It's only an embarrassing gift if you act embarrassed by it, and doing something like leaving it in the car is definitely a sign of embarrassment.

[Anonymous]

What ever happened to "it's the thought that counts"? If it is a gift given thoughtfully, why would anyone complain? Tacky is thinking that "only new will do" and that used (but thoughtfully given) isn't a sufficient expression of your affection.

Maybe I'm foolish and simple minded, but if I received a gently used and thoughtfully given gift at a shower, I would be appreciative of the giver's kindness and effort.

[Anonymous]

I would give it to her outside of the actual shower.

[Anonymous]

What ever happened to "it's the thought that counts"? If it is a gift given thoughtfully, why would anyone complain? Tacky is thinking that "only new will do" and that used (but thoughtfully given) isn't a sufficient expression of your affection.

Maybe I'm foolish and simple minded, but if I received a gently used and thoughtfully given gift at a shower, I would be appreciative of the giver's kindness and effort.

The whole point is that giving a used item as a gift doesn't appear thoughtful (no matter how thoughtful the OP is being, that will not be the general perception among most people.) In what way will this used item be "thoughtfully given?" I don't understand what you mean by that phrase in this context.

A new gift, even a small one, says "I went and picked this out, just for your new baby" or even "I selected something from your registry and went to the time & expense of buying/ordering it for you." A used item says "I found this in my garage; I'm done with it so I hope you can use it."

I am all in favor of reusing & recycling and have passed on a TON of my baby stuff to folks who really appreciated getting it, but I would not give a used item as my only shower gift at a baby shower.