Close to sexless marriage

[Anonymous]

I’m in a close to sexless marriage and don’t know what to do. We’ve been married for four years and sex has never been that consistent. He’s a once a week guy. He used to drink a lot and couldn’t perform when he’d been drinking. I was often very frustrated sexually. Looking back, I should have left.

Then I got pregnant. He wouldn’t have sex with me while pregnant as he couldn’t stay hard. I went almost a year not having sex. Our son is almost a 1.5 and on average we have sex once a month. I have so much resentment that even if he wanted to have sex, I don’t want to.

Has anyone dealt with this and turned the marriage around? I don’t even know where to start.

[Anonymous]

Yes and no.

[Anonymous]

Leave. It's not like you ever had an awesome sex life with the guy, it sounds mediocre at best. The why isn't that important, but that it's gotten worse matters. Do you want to spend your life this way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave. It's not like you ever had an awesome sex life with the guy, it sounds mediocre at best. The why isn't that important, but that it's gotten worse matters. Do you want to spend your life this way?

No but I’m not sure being a single mom will be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. It's not like you ever had an awesome sex life with the guy, it sounds mediocre at best. The why isn't that important, but that it's gotten worse matters. Do you want to spend your life this way?

No but I’m not sure being a single mom will be better.

Then don’t complain. Sounds like you’ve resigned yourself to this.

Why women have kids with men they’re not totally in love with and crazy about is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. It's not like you ever had an awesome sex life with the guy, it sounds mediocre at best. The why isn't that important, but that it's gotten worse matters. Do you want to spend your life this way?

No but I’m not sure being a single mom will be better.

Then don’t complain. Sounds like you’ve resigned yourself to this.



Why women have kids with men they’re not totally in love with and crazy about is beyond me.

Because not everyone is fortunate enough to fall madly in love with someone who also loves them back.

[Anonymous]

What does he say when you talk to him about it?

I was in a relationship with a guy like this. We lived together but weren't married. I'm not saying this is it, but he had always dated "bad girls," and viewed me as a "good girl." So he wasn't attracted to me. He was jerking off to porn instead.

I only mention this since he wouldn't have sex while you were pregnant. Maybe he's got in his mind that you are a mom and not a sex partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. It's not like you ever had an awesome sex life with the guy, it sounds mediocre at best. The why isn't that important, but that it's gotten worse matters. Do you want to spend your life this way?

No but I’m not sure being a single mom will be better.

Then don’t complain. Sounds like you’ve resigned yourself to this.



Why women have kids with men they’re not totally in love with and crazy about is beyond me.

Because not everyone is fortunate enough to fall madly in love with someone who also loves them back.

That doesn’t appear to be the case here, as she says “I should have left” and complains about his past history of drinking. I feel 100% confident in saying it’s another case of baby fever trumping a good marriage and now the OP is stuck. When will you all ever learn?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. It's not like you ever had an awesome sex life with the guy, it sounds mediocre at best. The why isn't that important, but that it's gotten worse matters. Do you want to spend your life this way?

No but I’m not sure being a single mom will be better.

Great, problem solved. Do nothing and hate it. Easy.

[Anonymous]

Sounds low T. Ever had T levels checked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. It's not like you ever had an awesome sex life with the guy, it sounds mediocre at best. The why isn't that important, but that it's gotten worse matters. Do you want to spend your life this way?

No but I’m not sure being a single mom will be better.

Then don’t complain. Sounds like you’ve resigned yourself to this.

Why women have kids with men they’re not totally in love with and crazy about is beyond me.

Plenty of guys will be glad to hook up with you. Marry you, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. It's not like you ever had an awesome sex life with the guy, it sounds mediocre at best. The why isn't that important, but that it's gotten worse matters. Do you want to spend your life this way?

No but I’m not sure being a single mom will be better.

Then don’t complain. Sounds like you’ve resigned yourself to this.

Why women have kids with men they’re not totally in love with and crazy about is beyond me.

Plenty of guys will be glad to hook up with you. Marry you, not so much.

Found my DH a long time ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave. It's not like you ever had an awesome sex life with the guy, it sounds mediocre at best. The why isn't that important, but that it's gotten worse matters. Do you want to spend your life this way?

No but I’m not sure being a single mom will be better.

Then don’t complain. Sounds like you’ve resigned yourself to this.

Why women have kids with men they’re not totally in love with and crazy about is beyond me.

Plenty of guys will be glad to hook up with you. Marry you, not so much.

I have zero interest in ever getting married again. I wouldn’t even pursue dating.

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain from the man’s perspective. My wife thinks once s month is plenty and barely let’s me touch her anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel your pain from the man’s perspective. My wife thinks once s month is plenty and barely let’s me touch her anymore.

Why can't you and OP have a safe sexual relationship so neither of you are single parents.

I would get the spouse approval but sounds like a winner!