SAHM division of duties

[Anonymous]

If you do work outside the home, what are the division of household duties in your home?

[Anonymous]

I assign a dollar value to each household task. For example; washing cloths = $50, washing dishes = $15, child care = $200 per day. Then I total up how much I value I add based on this and add in my earned income from my job. I call this my adjusted value added income. My husband does the same. Then we check to make sure we are 50/50. If one of us isn't then we exchange household tasks in order to make sure our contributions is exactly 50/50.

[Anonymous]

Are you asking about SAHM or working? Because your title and post are different.

[Anonymous]

For sahps or wohps? The title does not match the question. But I'll play.

I'm a wohm.

HH: I vacuum 1x a week, do laundry for me and dh and buy hh/personal care products. Dh deep cleans every 2 weeks and buys groceries/cooks. DC1 (age 11) keeps his own room tidy/clean, does his own laundry, and for extra allowance money, also does his younger sibling's (age 6) laundry. DC1 and I switch off doing the dishes every night. When DC 2 is older, she will join the rotation.

Childcare: I'm in charge in the morning (breakfast, drop off). Dh is in charge in the afternoon (pick up, afternoon activities).

We outsource all outside/backyard work but dh manages this. And I'm also manage hh budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assign a dollar value to each household task. For example; washing cloths = $50, washing dishes = $15, child care = $200 per day. Then I total up how much I value I add based on this and add in my earned income from my job. I call this my adjusted value added income. My husband does the same. Then we check to make sure we are 50/50. If one of us isn't then we exchange household tasks in order to make sure our contributions is exactly 50/50.

Haha. Very funny!!!

[Anonymous]

DW and I just get done what needs to get done. I like to cook and don't mind cleaning because I like a clean house more than she does. She loves to cook so she does more of it. I take care of the household stuff, which usually involves hiring a contractor. I probably spend more time with the kids because they're boys and play sports.

When something seems out of balance, we discuss it and adjust.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Sorry I'm meant to say if you do NOT work outside the home.

[Anonymous]

When I was a SAHM, I did the tasks I could reasonably complete during the day while also taking care of the kids and taking some breaks (just like DH would take breaks at work). Whatever was leftover after he got home in the evening or on the weekend was split 50/50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry I'm meant to say if you do NOT work outside the home.

If you do not work outside the home, you should consider household management and day-today tasks your job. Major projects will be a cooperative effort, but the day to day drudgery is all yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry I'm meant to say if you do NOT work outside the home.

If you do not work outside the home, you should consider household management and day-today tasks your job. Major projects will be a cooperative effort, but the day to day drudgery is all yours.

If my husband came home from work to eat the dinner I made for the family and then sat his butt on the couch for the rest of the night while I cleaned the kitchen and put the kids to bed, we would have some issues.

[Anonymous]

Me: All the laundry, cooking, cleaning up after meals, grocery shopping, banking, managing our investment portfolio, transportation of 3 kids to and from school and to and from extracurriculars, dealing with contractors/home repair, maintaining our cars, managing care takers for my father-in-law who has alzheimers. All of the kids doctor's appointment etc., pet care. We hire house cleaners and landscapers.

DH: Either mows the lawn or has one of our kids do it. What spare time he has, he spends with me or the kids but rarely does any household chores.

We've been in our respective roles for 12 years now and DH would like to trade places. Some days that sounds good to me too. However, when we go through the pros and cons (whatever job I find will pay a fraction of what DH makes, and DH only wants to take on part of my responsibilities, not all of them) we always decide that it is better as is. I am a SAHM of school age kids, and despite handling all of the chores, I do have more free time than DH, who works long hours and travels.

[Anonymous]

Of course he wants to change places NOW, the kids are in school!

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[Anonymous]

We split all household duties. Things get done in half the time. My husband does all the cooking too.

[Anonymous]

Husband does all the macho stuff: trash, finances, bill payment, wrestling with the kids, some bath time and story time. (His own laundry)
I do all the domestic stuff: all my, house and kids laundry, grocery, cooking, cleaning, dr’s, schooling, extracurricular, dishes, tidying. I feel he is working his ass off all day in a high pressure environment to make the big bucks. I try and have a lovely home ready for him and touch up makeup before he gets home and be in a cute outfit.
We do date nights regularly and cook blue apron together twice a week which we make into a SAH date.
He sleeps in on weekends and then I get an hour to take a shower and primp plus workout time.
I focus regularly on be a team! We are both SO Happy! I used to be so resentful now I had an attitude of gratitude change

[Anonymous]

When the kids are little, there's just a lot more to get done, and both partners have to chip in a lot to make it work. Being SAH with school-aged kids leaves more time for the SAH spouse to get household chores done.